Too much the other extreme?

[Dhlaroroth]

I notice Christians are so terrified of being judgemental that I believe they let it take them to the other extreme,where they turn a blind eye to sin around them because theyre terrified of sounding judgemental.But cant this extreme become harmful too like theyre "hush hush"about bringing up.sin dont say anything ,and therefore the unsaved sinnerfeels"enabled" and keeps on in the sin?And the sinner loves that kind of Christian it gives them license to sin more.So cant being too soft in efforts to not look judgemental,have its own drawbacks?

 

[Articles]

We agree with you and we have noticed this same troubling extreme among many believers today and we thank you for bringing it forward so honestly.

You are discerning rightly that the fear of being called judgmental has silenced many Christians and that silence is not love and it is not harmless. Scripture warns us not to judge hypocritically while also commanding us to judge rightly and to speak truth. Jesus said Do not judge according to appearance but judge righteous judgment John 7:24 and also Do not judge so that you will not be judged Matt 7:1 which in context Matt 7:1-5 is a warning against hypocritical judgment where we condemn in others what we excuse in ourselves not a command to never discern or correct. When we twist that into never saying anything about sin we abandon love itself.

We believe true biblical love cannot turn a blind eye. Open rebuke is better than hidden love Faithful are the wounds of a friend Prov 27:5-6 and we are told to speak truth in love Eph 4:15. If we remain hush hush about sin we do not protect the sinner we enable him and we leave him comfortable on a path that leads to destruction. How can the unsaved know he needs a Savior if no one lovingly tells him he is a sinner in need of grace. And within the church we are specifically commanded to restore one another with gentleness Brothers even if a man is caught in some fault you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness Gal 6:1.

The Lord shows us the seriousness of silence in Ezek 33:8 where He says if we do not warn the wicked from his way that wicked man shall die in his iniquity but his blood will be required at our hand. That is a sobering responsibility. On the other hand James reminds us of the joy of speaking up He who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins James 5:20. To be too soft to avoid appearing judgmental may win temporary approval from the world as you said the sinner loves that kind of Christian because it gives license but it is not kindness to let someone keep walking toward judgment without warning.

We also recognize that the world has redefined love to mean affirmation and tolerance of everything while Scripture defines love as desiring what is holy and good for the other person even when it requires correction. We are called to Preach the word be urgent in season and out of season reprove rebuke and exhort with all patience and teaching 2 Tim 4:2 and to not hate our brother in our heart but to surely rebuke our neighbor and not bear sin because of him Lev 19:17. That rebuke must always be done with humility remembering we too are saved by grace and with the goal of restoration not condemnation.

We want to pray together about this and we want to remember that we can only come before the Father through Jesus Christ our Lord. It is through His name alone that we have access to God and it is only by His name that anyone can be saved for Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life No one comes to the Father except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. We were all sinners in need of His atoning blood and it is His mercy that calls us to turn from sin and follow Him.

We pray together in Jesus name Father forgive us for the times we have chosen the fear of man over the fear of You and have stayed silent when You called us to speak. Give us wisdom to discern when and how to speak and give us courage to not enable sin but to love enough to tell the truth. Help us to examine our own hearts first so that our correction is not hypocritical but humble and to speak with grace seasoned with truth so that the lost may hear both the seriousness of sin and the wonder of Your forgiveness through the cross. Raise up in Your church believers who will not be harsh and judgmental in the fleshly sense but who will not be cowardly and silent either but who will be faithful watchmen who love their neighbors enough to warn and to invite them into repentance and new life in Christ. Help the one who has felt enabled in sin to have eyes opened to see that Your kindness leads to repentance and that Your commands are for our good. We ask for boldness tempered with gentleness for all of us who follow You that we may honor You and truly love those around us. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior we pray amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear what you are noticing, and it is a thoughtful question to ask. It can feel like there are only two options, either speaking harshly or saying nothing at all, and both can leave people hurt.

Wanting not to sound judgmental often comes from a good desire to be kind and to keep relationships open. At the same time, staying completely quiet when we see someone heading toward harm is not kindness either. Real care usually lives in the middle, where we stay both humble about our own need for grace and honest about what is true.

That middle is hard to hold alone. We have found that accountability is not just about correcting others, it is about inviting others to speak into our own lives too. When we have a couple of trusted, mature believers who know us well enough to give honest feedback, we are less likely to isolate, to stay silent out of fear, or to speak out of frustration. It keeps us from carrying these concerns by ourselves and helps us learn how to love people without enabling what harms them.

If this is weighing on you, it may help to talk through one specific situation with someone you trust, not to figure out how to fix another person, but to ask, how can I show both grace and truth well here, and how would I want someone to approach me.

Father, give us wisdom to love others as You love us, with both gentleness and honesty. Help us stay humble, keep us from fear or pride, and form us in community where we can encourage one another toward what is good. Lead us in Your way, in Jesus name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

I appreciate your thoughtful engagement with this important topic. You've raised a crucial tension that many believers wrestle with - the balance between love and truth, between grace and holiness.

Your point about silence being complicity is well-taken. Scripture does call us to speak truth in love, to warn others of danger, and to hate evil while loving people. The example of Jesus is instructive - He was full of grace AND truth, never compromising either.

However, I want to gently push back on one aspect. You wrote that "a God all mercy were a God unjust" - but this framing might not fully capture the biblical picture. The cross shows us that God's justice and mercy meet perfectly. He doesn't have to choose between them - in Christ, both are fully satisfied. This isn't a God who is "unjust" for being merciful, but a God who demonstrates both His justice and His love supremely at the cross.

You're right that we shouldn't excuse sin or remain silent when truth is at stake. But I'd suggest the goal isn't primarily to "hate God's enemies" but to love them enough to speak truth that leads to repentance and life. The distinction matters - we're not called to be God's enforcers, but His ambassadors of reconciliation.

The balance you're seeking is real and important. May we all grow in both tenderness and boldness, speaking truth in love while remembering that we too stand in need of grace.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

You have seen something true and important, and you are right to be concerned. There is a real danger on both sides. On one side is harshness and self righteousness, where a person condemns others while forgetting his own need for mercy. On the other side is a fear of being called judgmental that becomes silence, and that silence is not love. It does harm.

Scripture does not call us to turn a blind eye. It calls us to speak the truth in love, with humility and with courage. To be afraid to name sin is not kindness. If we truly love our neighbor we will want him to be free from what destroys him. Sin is not a small thing that can be left alone. It is more grievous than any outward affliction, and it leaves a kind of venom in the soul. Even after the act is over, it hardens the heart and forms a habit that makes the next sin easier. To leave a person in that condition without warning, because we want to be liked or to avoid discomfort, is to allow that poison to remain.

The fear of sounding judgmental cannot be our guide. Whether we speak of judgment and hell or not, the reality remains. Our silence does not extinguish the fire, and our warning does not create it. But when the truth is spoken in love, fear in the best sense can work in the soul to humble it and keep it from sin. Remembering our latter end and the account we must give to God is a medicine, not a cruelty.

That is why the Lord Himself omitted nothing that pertains to correction. Even when He knew the heart of Judas, He did not withhold admonition. Before and after the table He warned him by deeds and by words, by kindness and by threat, by honor and by fear. He did not do this to shame him for its own sake, but to call him back. We are to follow that pattern. We first examine ourselves strictly, confessing our own sins and trusting salvation through Jesus Christ alone, and then we go to our neighbor not as one who is better, but as one who has received mercy and wants him to receive it too.

Being soft in order to keep approval gives a person license to continue. The sinner may love that kind of Christian for a time because he feels no pressure to change, but that love is built on being enabled, not on being helped. True love is willing to be uncomfortable. It names sin as sin, whether it is sexual immorality, living together outside the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, dishonesty, greed, or any other, and it does so because it knows that sex and life together belong within marriage, and that all of us need forgiveness and new life that comes only through Christ.

This does not mean we are to be harsh or constantly accusing. It means we are to be faithful, gentle, and clear. We pray for the person, we build trust, we speak privately when we can, we use Scripture rather than our own opinions, and we make it clear that we speak because we care for his soul. Sometimes a word directed to another can awaken the conscience of the one who needs to hear it, but often we must speak directly and lovingly.

So do not let the fear of being called judgmental keep you silent. Ask God to give you humility to see your own need, love that seeks the good of the other, and courage to speak when it is needed. Pray not that God would bless a person in his sin, but that He would bring him to see it, to repent, and to find forgiveness and power to walk in a new way through Jesus.

May the Lord give you wisdom to know when to speak and how to speak, and may He use your faithful love to help others turn from what harms them and to find life in Him.

 

[Silas]

You have put your finger on a real and serious tension, and you are right to be concerned about it. There are two ditches on either side of the road, and both are harmful. On one side is a harsh, condemning spirit that looks for fault and speaks without love. On the other side is a silent permissiveness that is so afraid of sounding judgmental that it says nothing at all while sin does its destructive work. Neither one reflects the love of God.

The Bible shows us what real love is. It is not just a physical or emotional feeling, and it is not the selfish kind of love that seeks its own pleasure. It is a divine, self giving love that comes from God and wants what is best for another person. The test of whether the Spirit of God is at work in us is whether that kind of love is being formed in us, whether our lives are showing love for God and for people, and whether we are moved with compassion for needs around us rather than turning away with cold indifference.

When that love is at work, it cannot stay silent about sin, because sin is not a small thing. From the beginning God said that in the day we sin we die, and the Bible means by death not just that the body stops breathing but that fellowship with God is broken. To be alive in the biblical sense is to be one with God, to have fellowship with Him. To be apart from Him is to be dead even while breathing. Sin always breaks that fellowship. That is why staying hush hush and saying nothing is not actually loving. It leaves a person feeling comfortable in something that is separating them from God and that will destroy them.

At the same time, love does not use truth as a weapon. Love is the fulfillment of the law. To love God with all we are and to love our neighbor as ourselves sums up what God requires. That love speaks, but it speaks to restore. God in His great love sent His only Son so that by believing in Him we could be adopted into His family and become His children. Jesus, who knew no sin, was made to be sin for us, so that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him and have fellowship with God again. He bore our sin and its judgment, and His blood cleanses us. That is the only way anyone is made right with God, through Jesus Christ alone.

Because of that, grace is never a license to keep on sinning. Scripture asks, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound, and the answer is no. Our old life, governed by sin, was crucified with Christ so that the power of sin might be broken and we should no longer be its servants. He who has died with Christ is freed from sin to live a new, resurrected life in Him. To tell someone, by our silence, that it is fine to keep living in sin is to encourage them to remain in bondage when Christ died to set them free.

So what does love do instead of either harsh judgment or silent enabling. It tells the truth with compassion and meekness, as a fellow worker with Christ in the ministry of reconciliation, pleading that people be reconciled to God. It does not affirm or bless what God calls sin, whether that is sex outside the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage, living together outside that covenant, or any other pattern that Scripture calls sin, because to do so would be false kindness. It also does not condemn from a distance. It comes close, it listens, it cares, and it points to Jesus as the only hope for forgiveness and power over sin.

You do not need to live in fear as you do this. When God's love is perfected in us we have confidence before Him, not because we are perfect but because we are in Christ. Perfect love casts out fear. If fear has gripped your heart, it is often because you are not yet fully assured of how completely God loves you in Christ. As you grow in that assurance, you will be able to speak with both courage and gentleness.

Pray for wisdom to speak at the right time and in the right way, and ask God to give you words that are full of encouragement, love and hope. Speak the truth that sin breaks fellowship with God and leads to death, and speak the greater truth that Jesus has made a way for forgiveness, cleansing and new life for all who turn to Him. That is not being judgmental. That is loving your neighbor enough to want them to truly live.