Told God I Need an Answer by ###

[Jailfouraire]

On Thursday, my wife went off on me about everything going on. Essentially, I got yelled at about not working remote, that I am fat, that I am not a provider for my family, that my kids don’t want to see me or be around me, that she was going to harm herself because I am gone for work 11 hours a day and she is trying to work and watch the kids at the same time, that I am working a job that a high schooler could do when I have a PhD and I should be embarrassed, that she threatened to leave me and take the kids if I don’t find a new job or quit, and a lot more. This night shook me to my core.

I have not been honest with my wife in two ways when it comes to finances. The reasons for this is for the behavior that happened above. I get yelled at, threatened, and blamed for everything. First, I did not tell her the truth about how much is in my bank account. After not being able to find work for six to seven months, the money in my account was used to pay the bills and whatever my wife wanted to purchase. Essentially, she saves money from her job to herself and spends under my name so I am responsible for paying that all back. Second, when I did find a job I did not tell her the truth about the starting pay. I didn’t tell her because if I did she would tell me I couldn’t take the job because the pay is low but I knew I needed to get a job to start paying some of that debt back. I am not proud of it but I knew the verbal and emotional abuse I would receive if I did tell her the truth.

After my wife's verbal and emotional abuse on Thursday night, I told God I need either a financial miracle or job miracle by Monday otherwise I need to go. I clearly can’t take care of my family, my wife verbally and emotionally abuses me to the point where I am numb and feel nothing, and my wife basically said she is going to be mad at me for awhile. I just can no longer do this and cannot handle this anymore. I know God is not a Genie in a Bottle but the reality is Monday is the last day I can truly handle anymore of this verbal, emotional, and financial abuse.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and desperation in your heart, and we come before the Lord with you, lifting up every burden you carry. The weight of verbal and emotional abuse is heavy, and no one should have to endure such treatment—especially within the sacred covenant of marriage. Scripture tells us in Ephesians 5:25, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it."* The way your wife has spoken to you does not reflect the love, respect, or honor that God intends for marriage. We rebuke this spirit of contention and disrespect in Jesus' name, for it is written in Proverbs 15:1, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."*

You have also shared the struggle of financial dishonesty, and while we understand the fear that drove you to conceal the truth, we must address this with biblical clarity. Proverbs 12:22 says, *"Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who do the truth are his delight."* Deception, even when motivated by fear, only breeds more brokenness. We encourage you to seek repentance before the Lord and, when the time is right, to humbly and honestly communicate with your wife about these financial matters. This may be difficult, but Proverbs 28:13 reminds us, *"He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."*

The threats of self-harm and abandonment are deeply concerning, and we must address them with urgency. If your wife is struggling with thoughts of harming herself, she needs immediate help—whether through pastoral counseling, professional support, or even emergency intervention if necessary. You cannot carry this burden alone, and it is not your responsibility to fix her emotional state. Galatians 6:2 tells us to *"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ,"* but this does not mean you must endure abuse in silence. God does not call you to remain in a marriage where you are being crushed under the weight of unrepentant sin.

Your cry for a miracle by Monday is understandable, for you are at the end of your strength. We join you in praying for God’s intervention—whether through a financial breakthrough, a new job opportunity, or even clarity on the next steps for your marriage. But we must also remind you that God’s timing is not always our own. Psalm 31:15 says, *"My times are in your hand."* While we pray for immediate relief, we also pray for endurance, wisdom, and discernment to know how to move forward in a way that honors God.

If your wife is unwilling to change, if the abuse continues unchecked, and if there is no repentance or effort toward reconciliation, then Scripture gives you permission to separate for the sake of safety and peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15 says, *"But if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace."* This does not mean divorce is the first or only option, but it does mean that God does not expect you to remain in a marriage that is destroying you.

We pray for you now, lifting every burden before the throne of grace:

*"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother who is weary and broken. Lord, You see the pain he carries—the verbal abuse, the financial strain, the weight of a marriage that feels unbearable. We ask for Your intervention, Father. Provide a financial miracle, a job opportunity, or clarity on the next steps. Give him strength to endure, wisdom to discern Your will, and courage to take action if necessary. We rebuke the spirit of contention in this marriage and ask for healing and restoration if it is Your will. If not, Lord, provide a way of escape that leads to peace. Surround him with godly counsel, protect his heart from bitterness, and remind him that You are his Provider, his Defender, and his Hope. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen."*

You are not alone in this struggle. God sees your pain, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Seek wise, biblical counsel—whether through your pastor, a trusted Christian mentor, or a professional counselor who can help you navigate this difficult season. You do not have to make these decisions in isolation. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."* Lean on the body of Christ, and trust that God will guide your steps.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here with you, brother. We feel the weight of your wife's words and the strain of your financial situation. It's like you're carrying a heavy backpack, and it's getting harder to walk. We want to lighten that load with you.

First, let's talk about honesty. We know it's scary to be open about money, but hiding the truth only makes things worse. Proverbs 12:22 tells us, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are his delight." Let's commit to being honest with each other and with God. It's not easy, but it's the first step towards healing.

Next, we need to address the verbal and emotional abuse. It's not okay for your wife to speak to you like that, and it's not okay for you to carry that burden alone. We're going to pray for God to intervene, to bring peace and healing to your marriage. But remember, God doesn't want you to stay in a situation where you're being crushed. If things don't change, we need to be ready to seek help, even if that means taking steps towards separation.

We're also going to pray for a miracle. We know you need a financial breakthrough or a new job opportunity by Monday. We're asking God for that, but we're also asking for wisdom and endurance. God's timing might not be our timing, but we trust that He has a plan.

Let's pray together:

"Dear Lord, we come to You with heavy hearts. We lift up our brother who is weary and broken. Lord, You see the pain he carries - the verbal abuse, the financial strain, the weight of a marriage that feels unbearable. We ask for Your intervention, Father. Provide a financial miracle, a job opportunity, or clarity on the next steps. Give him strength to endure, wisdom to discern Your will, and courage to take action if necessary. We rebuke the spirit of contention in this marriage and ask for healing and restoration if it's Your will. If not, Lord, provide a way of escape that leads to peace. Surround him with godly counsel, protect his heart from bitterness, and remind him that You are his Provider, his Defender, and his Hope. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."

You're not alone in this, brother. We're here with you, and so is God. Let's keep walking together, one step at a time.

 

[Naliogate]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[bobr69]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.