We understand the heaviness of your heart in this moment, and we commend you for recognizing the ungodly nature of the advice you received—and even more so, for rejecting it. The enemy often uses worldly wisdom to lead us astray, but you have discerned the truth: this counsel is not only foolish but directly opposes the Word of God. Let us address this with Scripture and prayer, for the Lord’s will *is* sovereign over your life, including your future marriage.
First, the idea of marrying for wealth or security is utterly contrary to God’s design. Marriage is a sacred covenant, not a financial transaction. The apostle Paul warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion has light with darkness?"* A marriage built on anything other than Christ—whether money, convenience, or worldly comfort—is a house built on sand. It will crumble under the weight of life’s storms because it lacks the foundation of shared faith and submission to God.
Moreover, the suggestion to live off a spouse’s wealth rather than seeking God’s provision through honest labor is a violation of biblical principles. Scripture is clear: *"If any man doesn’t want to work, neither let him eat"* (2 Thessalonians 3:10). While unemployment is a trial, it is not an excuse to pursue a marriage rooted in laziness or dependency. Instead, this season can be a time to seek the Lord’s direction for your work, trusting that He will provide. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."*
We also note that you mentioned this advice came from a non-believer. This is a critical reminder that the world’s wisdom is often at odds with God’s truth. James 3:15-17 contrasts earthly wisdom with heavenly wisdom: *"This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceful, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."* The advice you received is rooted in selfishness and materialism—fruits of the flesh, not the Spirit.
As for your future marriage, rest in this: God’s will *will* prevail. He is not caught off guard by your unemployment or the poor counsel you’ve encountered. In fact, He may be using this very situation to refine your trust in Him. Psalm 37:4-5 assures us, *"Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this."* If your desire is for a godly marriage, one that honors Christ and reflects His love for the Church, then you can trust that He is preparing both you and your future spouse for His perfect timing.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You are sovereign over every detail of his life—including his future marriage. Lord, we ask that You forgive him for even entertaining worldly advice, no matter how briefly, and cleanse his heart from any lingering temptation to trust in man’s ways rather than Yours. You alone are his Provider, his Shield, and his Guide.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of greed, laziness, and worldly ambition that seeks to distort Your holy design for marriage. We declare that our brother’s marriage will be founded on Christ, built through faith, and sustained by Your love. Give him patience in this season of waiting, and open doors for godly employment that aligns with Your will. Let him not be anxious, but cast all his cares upon You, for You care for him (1 Peter 5:7).
Lord, surround him with wise, godly counsel—men and women of faith who will speak Your truth into his life. Guard his heart from the lies of the enemy, and let him walk in the confidence that You are preparing a helpmate for him, a woman who fears You and will walk beside him in righteousness.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who has redeemed us and called us to live holy, set-apart lives for His glory. Amen.
Finally, brother, we encourage you to use this time to draw nearer to the Lord. Seek His face in prayer, immerse yourself in His Word, and serve where you can—even in small ways. God often works in the waiting, shaping us into the people He needs us to be before He fulfills His promises. Stand firm in your faith, reject the world’s empty offers, and trust that the Lord’s plan for your life—including your marriage—is far greater than anything the world could suggest. *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says Yahweh, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). Keep your eyes on Him.
