This not a prayer request, but if ...

[Proud Servant of GOD]

This not a prayer request, but if anyone has a prayer for me let THE HOLY SPIRIT guide you. I don't tell people of my past because I feel I will be judged (poor thing or she's got problems or she's a bad person, which I am). So I talk the real personal stuff on here hoping that open minded forgiving Christians will understand, give advice, or just pray. I was born into a family that had problems my dad was an alcoholic whose father was an alcoholic, a wife beater, and a child abuser. My mom was a drug addict. She was addicted to Crack and she and her boyfriends abused me and my 4 siblings. At some point and time they divorced and she decided she didn't want children so she (after sticking a knife my oldest sisters throat for feeding us) took us to my aunts (my dads sister) house and left after a long court battle my aunt and her husband won custody of us.I was 4 years old at the time so I don't remember much of the abuse (and I don't know if I was sexually abused at that time). At some point and time as far back as I can remember my uncle started sexually abusing my 2nd oldest sister and I. The real abuse went on until I was 11 then I got baptized and made a vow to GOD that I would no longer allow him to do that to me again and I fought back physically. The groping and filthy talk continued until I was 17 when he died from MD. A couple of times I tried to tell my aunt and my brother, but with my aunt the first time i was 9 my sister begged me not to because she did and she didn't believe her and when she started to question her she said she lied so the questions would stop the 2nd time she asked me if he ever touched me and I started to cry and she got angry so i said no and my brother said he didn't want to hear anything bad so I'm never going to do it again I will take it to my grave he's dead and I forgave him long ago GOD will handle the rest. I am no saint in this story it is possible that I had been sexually abused before I could have done something that my uncle took as coming on to him, but I was only 4 years old. Then when I was 6 or 7 i convinced (one time) my brother to touch my breast I knew it was bad and I don't know why I did it, but I did it and I don't have an excuse for it (I didn't consider consequences I was too young to know that) and I never ever did it again I promise. I was never going to tell anyone about any of this, but a couple of years ago I felt convicted of THE HOLY SPIRIT to repent of it harder which I had already done, but also see if it affected my brother. I prayed about it and I even posted a prayer on here about it. The next day I talked with my brother about it and as much as he would let me about my abuse he didn't want to know who and I respected that my uncle was kind and we'll loved he just had a bad problem. Why I don't know maybe he was abused? My brother had no memory of it which made me feel bad for even telling him because he is my best friend we are close in age and I didn't want him to hate me or view me differently than our previous relationship before he knew. GOD showed me mercy through my brother my brother laughed and said "oh my gosh we were little kids get over it you said sorry and I forgive you and I don't want to talk about it anymore and he actually said sorry to me for what had happened to me. I have not fully forgiven myself for this and it makes me feel like a fake Christian (what if anybody else knows will they think I'm a pedophile even though I was 6 or 7 years old and it happened onetime and I had been abused for as long as I can remember? Will they pity me because of all of that?). For a long time in my life I have never wanted to be with anyone I don't know if that's the reason I just didn't. When men ask me out I turn them down. When they have tried to kiss me I wiggle my out of the situation. This is going to be too much information, but recently I began to have desires I figured I might be alone forever and I want learn more about the act of sex and people were making fun of me for having never seen porn at my age, but I had never had desire to. So I started to watch some. I'm not ashamed of it just because those things happened to me I don't want to be one of those people who can never be touched or be intimate with her spouse, and what I saw wasn't much more than what's on TV today so if you want to judge me and you watch sexual stuff on tv then pull the planks out of your eyes before you pull the sawdust from mine. Somehow without intending to I met someone and they were amazing better than anyone I had ever known they knew I was a Christian that watched porn a few times and they didn't judge me for it nor did I them. I actually started to want to have them in my life maybe, but my life is very complicated certain people don't want me or my certain siblings to have a life of our own. They claim they do, but when we try they try and mess it up. There are more details, but I don't feel like getting too into them. I would leave but there are children involved their not mine but I love them as if they were and I and my siblings have had a big hand in raising them 2 of them are with their mom now 2 of them live with me and my family and I can't abandon them. I tried to move out once but it caused problems everybody including the kids cried and begged me to stay so I did. The 2 that live with me are older now one has a job and the other is getting one so I will be able to get a job after 4 years of being out of work to help in homeschooling them. The other 2 have lived with their mom for the last 2 years it was really hard for me at first because I felt like I lost 2 of my children, but it has gotten better. Their mom is a good mom she just hasn't been stable in her marriages, but if they were to come back which they have before I would go back to raising them in a heartbeat. I don't know if the person I started to develop maybe love for knows all of this but I know that they know some of it. But this is the reason for my distance I believe GOD WILL send the one to me that can handle all of this and will be patient for me, but I don't want anyone to get stuck in this life and regret it later. That's obligation and not love and I don't want that. I want someone to love me and be able to handle all of this with joy because they love me and my family which though they have their problems as do I they are loving and amazing. I am truly blessed. But I know that's a lot to ask, but GOD is bigger than any situation so I have faith. And if HE doesn't then nobody was right for me and I'm ok with that. FATHER thank YOU for guiding me to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so YOU have helped me GOD. I pray YOU WILL send someone to be my husband that will be all that I want and that I will be all that they want and we will be all that YOU want. And they won't feel forced to love me or stay with me or be my crutch. YOU are my ROCK so I don't need crutches. Also I pray if YOU be WILLING that they never know about the sexual abuse because I fear they won't treat me or look at me like a normal wife. I don't tell people for this reason he's dead my brother knows and has forgiven me. So I want to move past this and live as normal as YOU WILL allow me to. Thanks to all for reading, praying, and pushing me out of my box. GOD BLESS you all I'm thankful for each and everyone of you I am sorry I involved you in any of this even the knowledge of it I didn't want to. I just wanted to be normal and be free to feel , but GOD had a reason for me to do so. So thanks be free, happy, BLESSED and all other good things your perfect I'm really flawed, but I pray to be perfect like CHRIST even though I have a grimey past and a imperfect, but better than it could be present In the name of YOUR SON FATHER GOD THE LORD JESUS CHRIST we PRAY AMEN .

 

[Saxbalon]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Bikaki]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[HMC1957]

"You are never alone. God promised to never leave you nor forsake you. It may seem like you are alone, but it is at these times that you must choose to believe that He is there. You must believe that He is there solely based on the fact that the Bible says it. This is the very essence and requirement of faith – to walk, not on what you see and feel, but on what you know – a knowing based solely on what the word of God says."

May your prayers be answered. In Jesus name. Amen!

 

[Brother James]

Praying with and for you in Jesus.

We can do everything Jesus did and more! We can speak; sickness leave in Jesus! Be healed by Jesus stripes! I am healed by Jesus stripes! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus!

You can copy and paste this to pray every day and share...

There is nothing that happens for us that is bad. All things work for our good in Jesus! Look at everything as good!

Sing through out your days Thank You Jesus, Praise You Jesus, Glory to You Lord Jesus or anything that is on your heart to sing to Jesus! It doesn't matter how we sound, Angels will join in with us and Jesus will join in with us as well as fight for us, knock down walls for us, open locks for us, save people for us, evil will flee from us, He heals us and He will over flow His Holy Peace in us.

Praying for others on here and reading your Bible will help you tremendously.

I wanted to commit suicide once, I even came up with a plan. Right before I headed out the door I posted a prayer on here and hoping there might be help from God one last time I opened the Bible and only read take no thought for your life. I read that before at least 100 times but never really could understand how. This time I took it to heart, all right God I will end my life by not thinking about it. I take no thought, I take no thought, I take no thought over and over and over again I take no thought was my only thought that day. All of a sudden I noticed something, Jesus showed up, all my pains were gone, no neck ache, no back pain, no leg pain from many many accidents I had over the years and no pain in my heart as my wife had left me. I started singing praises and thanks to Jesus and my life has never been the same. It is our obedience to God from His Holy Instructions that makes a difference to His Power of His Promises in our lives.

Be a doer of Jesus friend, it really makes a difference! Thank You Lord Jesus!

Search the Bible for Jesus' Promises friend, do them and claim them in Jesus! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus!

Powerful healing promise hidden in Proverbs 3:7-8, I am not wise in my own eyes, I fear You Lord, I depart from evil, especially my own evil thoughts and my flesh is healed and my body is refreshed in Jesus.

Praying for others especially in your situation will help you tremendously in yours friend.

Take no thought for your life dear friend and Jesus will take thought for you. Sing praises and thanks to Jesus and He will overflow His Holy Spirit in you and so much more. He will fight for you and give you the desires of your heart.

Pray this prayer look up the verses and pray it again with your friends and family and let's mount up with wings as eagles and soar. Soar with me.

Let Us Pray: God I ask in Jesus' name, bless me to grow closer to You. I long for a more intimate relationship with You. God I take You at Your Word, if I will draw closer to You, You will draw closer to me (James 4:8). Show me how to draw closer to You. Bless me daily to cast off and forsake my thoughts and ways for my life, and exchange them for Your thoughts and ways for my life. Let me think Your thoughts and dream Your dreams for my life. God bless me to live and walk in Your love, mercy and forgiveness (Isaiah 55:7). I confess, I will take no thought for my life. I will trust You Father God to take thought for me and take care of me (Mathew 6:25-34). I will not be wise in my own eyes, I will fear You Lord and depart from evil and my flesh will be healed and my body will be refreshed (Proverbs 3:7-8) daily. Thank You Jesus for Your Promises! Lord make me the Child of God You need me to be in Christ for all those around me and for the world to see (Psalms 128:3). Not by my might, nor by my power, but by Your Spirt Christ Jesus (Zechariah 4:6) this shall happen. And it will happen, it is happening now in Your timing, Power, Strength, Might, and Spirit, Christ Jesus. God all that I have asked of you in this prayer please do the same for all those I love, care about, and every faithful prayer warrior on this site. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Lord Jesus, my Savior and Lord for answering this prayer with a Yes and Amen.

Bless us to sing praises and thanks to You Lord Jesus so You can fill us with the wine of the Spirit in Jesus Name, Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.