S
Shilo
Guest
This is what my daughter thinks of me. I need help, Please Father GOD show me what to do. In Jesus Holy name I pray amen.
“You are just selfish,” my step-dad once said, “you just lock yourself in your room and don’t even say ‘Hi’ to us.” When he said that, I completely agreed with him. I was being selfish, I didn’t want a relationship with my mom or step-father. I didn’t care about them, and the less I saw them, the better. Since I didn’t want a relationship, the little bit of one that we had, was falling apart. A family does not just always love each other, a family is a relationship of choice that each member has to want to take on.
Before things got to a point where I was always upset with my parents, we had a normal relationship. I would be happy to spend time with my mom. Then, as I got older, I started resenting my mom. At first, it wasn’t that bad, I would just dislike it when my mom told me I couldn’t do something. I would get mad, but I wouldn’t add it to any built up resentment. After I calmed down, the whole thing would be over and I would be happy again. Then, as time went on, my mom just started saying “No” to everything. Compared to my friend’s moms, my mother was too strict, and I was starting to get fed up with her ridiculous rules.
When I was in middle school, I got to a point, where I just flat-out told my mother, “I just want to move in with my dad!” I could tell this statement hurt my mother, but I didn’t really care that much. All I was doing, was thinking “How can you not know how I am feeling?” The way I felt at that time was just stressed and anxious, I was just waiting for the next time my mom would yell at me. It was similar to when I went to a baseball game and sat in the bleachers. When a ball started coming my way, I could see it, but couldn’t exactly tell when it was going to hit me in the face. All I wanted to do was just run away, and feel safe with my dad. I would continue avoiding my mom and step-father, and the anger that was building inside me was just too much. I would call my dad and tell him what was going on. I did this often, because he would actually listen to me, without any judgement. While my relationship with my father grew, my relationship with my mother and step-father continued to diminish.
One day when I was with my dad, my mom came up to me and said “Give me your phone.” This was a complete shock to me, because I had never had it taken away before. My mother said the reason she took my phone away was, because I called my dad and was complaining about our family business to him. My thoughts were “What mother would take away her daughter’s phone for talking to her father?” and then I remembered, “Mine.” I was not even calling my dad about family business in the first place. I was calling him to let him know where to pick me up at, so I could be with him for the weekend. After my mom found this out, she kept my phone anyways and said “Well, you have been disrespectful lately too.” The only thoughts I had at that point, were negative towards my mother. Even if she wasn’t doing anything mean or constricting, I would turn it around and make her out to be the bad person. When I noticed that, I made the realization that I was no longer just trying not to be in the family. I was rebelling against the idea of having a family with my mother and step-father altogether.
When everyone in our house knew that we weren’t getting along, we had a family meeting to discuss what we felt and thought. It was like a private therapy session run by ourselves. We talked for a while and eventually came to an understanding. In the weeks that came next we started talking more and not jumping to conclusions when an incident would happen. As a family, we made the choice to try and have a healthy relationship. I still think negatively about my parents, but it’s not to the point where I just try to stay out of their lives completely. I still hide in my room, but for not as long. I would still rather live with my dad, but I am okay with living with my mom. We are still working to become a better family, but we are not there yet. Family is a relationship, and like all relationships, you have to work at it.
“You are just selfish,” my step-dad once said, “you just lock yourself in your room and don’t even say ‘Hi’ to us.” When he said that, I completely agreed with him. I was being selfish, I didn’t want a relationship with my mom or step-father. I didn’t care about them, and the less I saw them, the better. Since I didn’t want a relationship, the little bit of one that we had, was falling apart. A family does not just always love each other, a family is a relationship of choice that each member has to want to take on.
Before things got to a point where I was always upset with my parents, we had a normal relationship. I would be happy to spend time with my mom. Then, as I got older, I started resenting my mom. At first, it wasn’t that bad, I would just dislike it when my mom told me I couldn’t do something. I would get mad, but I wouldn’t add it to any built up resentment. After I calmed down, the whole thing would be over and I would be happy again. Then, as time went on, my mom just started saying “No” to everything. Compared to my friend’s moms, my mother was too strict, and I was starting to get fed up with her ridiculous rules.
When I was in middle school, I got to a point, where I just flat-out told my mother, “I just want to move in with my dad!” I could tell this statement hurt my mother, but I didn’t really care that much. All I was doing, was thinking “How can you not know how I am feeling?” The way I felt at that time was just stressed and anxious, I was just waiting for the next time my mom would yell at me. It was similar to when I went to a baseball game and sat in the bleachers. When a ball started coming my way, I could see it, but couldn’t exactly tell when it was going to hit me in the face. All I wanted to do was just run away, and feel safe with my dad. I would continue avoiding my mom and step-father, and the anger that was building inside me was just too much. I would call my dad and tell him what was going on. I did this often, because he would actually listen to me, without any judgement. While my relationship with my father grew, my relationship with my mother and step-father continued to diminish.
One day when I was with my dad, my mom came up to me and said “Give me your phone.” This was a complete shock to me, because I had never had it taken away before. My mother said the reason she took my phone away was, because I called my dad and was complaining about our family business to him. My thoughts were “What mother would take away her daughter’s phone for talking to her father?” and then I remembered, “Mine.” I was not even calling my dad about family business in the first place. I was calling him to let him know where to pick me up at, so I could be with him for the weekend. After my mom found this out, she kept my phone anyways and said “Well, you have been disrespectful lately too.” The only thoughts I had at that point, were negative towards my mother. Even if she wasn’t doing anything mean or constricting, I would turn it around and make her out to be the bad person. When I noticed that, I made the realization that I was no longer just trying not to be in the family. I was rebelling against the idea of having a family with my mother and step-father altogether.
When everyone in our house knew that we weren’t getting along, we had a family meeting to discuss what we felt and thought. It was like a private therapy session run by ourselves. We talked for a while and eventually came to an understanding. In the weeks that came next we started talking more and not jumping to conclusions when an incident would happen. As a family, we made the choice to try and have a healthy relationship. I still think negatively about my parents, but it’s not to the point where I just try to stay out of their lives completely. I still hide in my room, but for not as long. I would still rather live with my dad, but I am okay with living with my mom. We are still working to become a better family, but we are not there yet. Family is a relationship, and like all relationships, you have to work at it.
