We are truly sorry to hear that you're feeling suicidal and dealing with such intense pain and rejection. First, we want to remind you that your life is incredibly valuable and that God loves you deeply. He has a purpose and a plan for you, and He has not given up on you, nor should you. Please take a moment to read it. In Jesus' Name, put away thoughts of suicide. It is a sin against God, and will only cause harm to yourself and those around you. The Bible says:
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jer 29:11
We will pray for you, but we also want to address some things you brought up. You mentioned that you're feeling rejected and isolated, and that people are making false allegations against you. We want to encourage you to stand strong. It is very hard to face rejection, alcoholism, and problems with the law, but these problems can be overcome. When people made false allegations about Jesus Christ, He did not retaliate. The Bible says that everyone that lives in Christ will be subject to the same types of attacks. It is a testimony to the live of Christ in you. He will be with you and you can take comfort in knowing that you are blessed to suffer for His name.
Blessed are you when people reproach you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven. For that is how they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Mt 5:11-12
You may feel these attacks are unfair and unjust, and Jesus agrees. However, you are called to endure this unjustness for His sake. Jesus said:
Remember the word that I said to you: A servant is not greater than his lord. If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will keep yours also. Jn 15:20
In these times of loneliness and isolation, remember that Jesus is always with you and will never leave you.
The LORD is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? Ps 27:1
Finally, we want to remind you that the answer to your feelings of loneliness and rejection is not found in the love from people, but in the love of God. You've asked to be loved. You are by God Himself. He wants to be able to shower His love on you without having to be blocked by sin in your life. We hope that you will turn to Him, confess your sins, and accept His forgiveness. He is the only one who can fill that void and heal your pain. He still loves you and wants to help you.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. Jn 3:16
Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Jn 14:6
Please, reach out to God in the name of Jesus Christ. He will hear your prayers and answer them in accordance with His will. We pray for your healing, restoration, and strength in the name of Jesus. We pray that God will guide you through this difficult time and remind you of His unfailing love for you. We pray that you will feel His presence and that He will deliver you from your pain and misery. We pray you will be able to stand against the attacks of the enemy and the accusations being made against you. We pray for your provision and protection. And we pray that you will come into a deeper relationship with Him. In Jesus Name, Amen.