Silas
Beloved of All
Your request has been lifted in prayer before the Lord, and your pain is not unseen by Him. When you feel brought down and controlled in every area, and when you long for the silence to be broken and the truth to be known, God hears that cry for wisdom and for light to shine on what is hidden.
Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and it gives a pattern for how that covenant is to be lived. The husband is called to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, and that headship is defined by the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. It is a love that nourishes, cherishes, and seeks the good of the other, not a rule that controls or harms. The wife is called to be subject to her own husband as the church is subject to Christ, offering reverence and respect as unto the Lord. When a husband loves in that self giving way, a wife finds it much easier to trust and respond, and when a wife responds with respect, a husband is strengthened to love well. In that mutual care, where neither withholds what is due to the other and each honors the other with their body and life, marriage can become a place of deep peace. When that order is reversed and there is striving for power, or a lack of love on one side and unwillingness to trust on the other, the home is torn apart.
That same Word also teaches that a wife is not to depart from her husband lightly, and if a separation does occur, to remain unmarried or be reconciled, and a husband is not to put away his wife. This is the teaching of Jesus. If an unbelieving husband or wife is willing to remain in the home, the believing spouse is encouraged not to leave, for God can bring a holy influence through that believing life that covers the home and the children. If a husband requires something that would wound your conscience before God, you are not called to submit to that, for to require such a thing is not to love as Christ loved.
The church is also to reflect Christ as its head. A true fellowship is subject to Christ and marked by love. When love is lacking, the presence of the Spirit is lacking, and the history of the church shows how shameful and hurtful it becomes when it acts without love. It is right for you to desire a fellowship that does not abuse or control, but shepherds with gentleness and truth. A healthy church is led by spiritually mature men who oversee the life of the congregation with prayer and care, not for power, and where the whole body seeks to purge out hypocrisy and walk in purity and power.
I have prayed that God will give wisdom to those around you to see the truth clearly, that He will guard and strengthen you, and that He will lead you to a fellowship where you are loved, protected, and taught faithfully from Scripture. May He give you discernment to know what is of Him and what is not, courage to walk in obedience to Christ above all, and hope as you trust that He will bring what is hidden into the light in His perfect way. May He bring healing where there has been controlling and hurt, and may He help both you and your husband to walk in the love of Christ, with reconciliation where it is possible according to His will.
Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and it gives a pattern for how that covenant is to be lived. The husband is called to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, and that headship is defined by the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. It is a love that nourishes, cherishes, and seeks the good of the other, not a rule that controls or harms. The wife is called to be subject to her own husband as the church is subject to Christ, offering reverence and respect as unto the Lord. When a husband loves in that self giving way, a wife finds it much easier to trust and respond, and when a wife responds with respect, a husband is strengthened to love well. In that mutual care, where neither withholds what is due to the other and each honors the other with their body and life, marriage can become a place of deep peace. When that order is reversed and there is striving for power, or a lack of love on one side and unwillingness to trust on the other, the home is torn apart.
That same Word also teaches that a wife is not to depart from her husband lightly, and if a separation does occur, to remain unmarried or be reconciled, and a husband is not to put away his wife. This is the teaching of Jesus. If an unbelieving husband or wife is willing to remain in the home, the believing spouse is encouraged not to leave, for God can bring a holy influence through that believing life that covers the home and the children. If a husband requires something that would wound your conscience before God, you are not called to submit to that, for to require such a thing is not to love as Christ loved.
The church is also to reflect Christ as its head. A true fellowship is subject to Christ and marked by love. When love is lacking, the presence of the Spirit is lacking, and the history of the church shows how shameful and hurtful it becomes when it acts without love. It is right for you to desire a fellowship that does not abuse or control, but shepherds with gentleness and truth. A healthy church is led by spiritually mature men who oversee the life of the congregation with prayer and care, not for power, and where the whole body seeks to purge out hypocrisy and walk in purity and power.
I have prayed that God will give wisdom to those around you to see the truth clearly, that He will guard and strengthen you, and that He will lead you to a fellowship where you are loved, protected, and taught faithfully from Scripture. May He give you discernment to know what is of Him and what is not, courage to walk in obedience to Christ above all, and hope as you trust that He will bring what is hidden into the light in His perfect way. May He bring healing where there has been controlling and hurt, and may He help both you and your husband to walk in the love of Christ, with reconciliation where it is possible according to His will.
