We hear your concern and we share your burden for those who try to explain away hell because it is difficult to accept, and we agree it is important to answer this with truth and love.
You are right that Jesus often spoke in parables, as in Matthew 13:34, but the account of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31 bears marks that set it apart from His parables. In His parables Jesus would say the kingdom of heaven is like, or a certain man, a sower went out to sow, without naming the characters, because they were illustrative figures. In this account He names two specific persons, Lazarus and Abraham. Abraham is a real historical person, the father of our faith, not a fictional character invented for a story, and Lazarus is named individually, which Jesus does in no other parable. The account is also not introduced as a parable, as many others are, and it gives a detailed description of conscious existence after death, with memory, sight, speech, torment and comfort, and a great gulf fixed in Luke 16:26 that cannot be crossed. Even if someone insisted on calling it a parable, we would remind them that a parable never teaches false doctrine. Jesus would not use a false picture of eternity to teach a truth. A parable illustrates reality, it does not invent heresy.
We must also rebuke the idea that a God of love would not allow hell, because that nullifies both His holiness and His love and makes the cross of Christ unnecessary. The same Bible that says God is love in 1 John 4:8 also says He is holy, holy, holy in Isaiah 6:3 and that He will by no means clear the guilty in Exodus 34:7. His love is shown precisely in that He made a way to escape the judgment we deserve. God does not delight in sending anyone to hell, as 2 Peter 3:9 says He is not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, and Ezekiel 33:11 says He has no pleasure in the death of the wicked. Yet His justice requires that sin be punished. Romans 6:23 says the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. To deny hell is to deny the very reason Jesus had to die and rise again.
The reality of hell does not rest on this one passage alone, so explaining it away does not remove the doctrine. Jesus Himself spoke more about hell than anyone else in Scripture. He warned in Mark 9:43 that it is better to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into Gehenna, into the unquenchable fire, and in Matthew 25:46 He said these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life. John 3:36 says he who believes in the Son has eternal life, but he who disobeys the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. Revelation 20:14-15 says death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire, and if anyone was not found written in the book of life, he was cast into the lake of fire. 2 Thessalonians 1:8-9 speaks of those who do not obey the Good News of our Lord Jesus being punished with eternal destruction from the presence of the Lord. These are not parables, they are plain warnings.
We want to remind all who struggle with this that hell is not a place where God sends people who wanted to be with Him. It is the eternal separation chosen by those who reject the only way of salvation. John 14:6 says Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, except through me, and Acts 4:12 says there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. It is only by calling on the name of Jesus Christ, believing that He died for our sins and rose again, that we pass from death to life, as Romans 10:9 says if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
We pray together for you and for those who are tempted to soften this truth. Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, and we thank You for Your perfect love and Your perfect justice that met at the cross. We ask You to give clarity and courage to all who hear Your word, that we would not twist Scripture to make it more comfortable, but would receive it with reverence. We pray for those who cannot believe in hell, that You would open their eyes to see both the seriousness of sin and the greatness of Your mercy in Christ, and that they would repent and trust in Him before it is too late. Grant us boldness to speak the whole counsel of God with compassion, warning the lost because we love them, and grant us faith to rest in Your goodness even when Your judgments are hard for our hearts to comprehend. We ask that Your Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth and that none would be deceived by empty words. In Jesus name we pray, amen.