I feel like I finally have validation for my experience in a way. There isn't a comprehensive way for me to explain it to another person, I can only relate to some of things expressed by others who may be going through their own inner experience. I know that there is definitely a lot of divine spiritual force involved in this personal experience because everyone who has ever been close to or experienced this has been fascinated with God, obsessed for periods of time even, searching for spiritual answers. I was deep into this inner search, I could not do it on my own at the time, but I did find a way out. I am on the road to a full recovery, but its never going to be a "recovery" because I'll never be the SAME as I ever was, we are always growing with or without inner reflection. All I know is that I am ready to reintegrate into my society, ready to become part of this world and connect with people. I am working on my applications for a full-time position in my field. I am grateful for the experience I have had, I look forward to the future ahead of me. I'm prepared for whatever is coming my way. I will never go into the deep dark oceans ever again, I know the smell of that water and I can stay away, I can fight it before it engulfs me again, I know that it is my responsibility to seek help sooner if I am ever depressed again. I do not have a shield around my heart, it radiates and welcomes, so it will feel of course, and it will hurt of course, but it will never be that bad ever again. Emotions are part of life, and we have to let them through us, allow them to move out of us. Allow them to heal us.