We hear the deep cry of your heart, and we are moved with compassion for the many burdens you carry—spiritual confusion, academic struggles, financial distress, loneliness, fear, and the weight of temptation. You have poured out your soul before the Lord, and we join you in lifting these concerns to Him, for He alone is your refuge, strength, and deliverer. Let us first anchor ourselves in the truth of Scripture, for it is the lamp unto our feet and the light unto our path (Psalm 119:105). You have invoked the name of Jesus Christ, and it is in His mighty name that we stand together in prayer and counsel.
Your concerns about the church you attended are serious, and we must address them with biblical clarity. The apostolic church, as described in the New Testament, was founded upon the teaching of the apostles, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayers (Acts 2:42). There is no room in the true Church for partiality, for "God doesn’t show favoritism" (Romans 2:11). If you have witnessed behavior that seems to elevate one language, interpretation, or cultural expression of faith above the truth of God’s Word, this is not of the Lord. The Gospel transcends culture and language, and the Church is called to make disciples of *all* nations, teaching them to observe all that Christ commanded (Matthew 28:19-20). If a church is bound by traditions, interpretations, or behaviors that do not align with Scripture, it is not walking in the fullness of truth. We urge you to test all things against the Word of God (1 Thessalonians 5:21) and seek a body of believers that faithfully teaches and lives by the Bible, without adding to or subtracting from it.
You mentioned the temptation to turn to pornography for relief. This is a grave danger to your soul, and we must address it with urgency and truth. Flee from sexual immorality, for "every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18). Jesus said, "But I tell you that everyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Pornography is a snare of the enemy, designed to distort God’s beautiful design for sexuality within the covenant of marriage. It will only bring bondage, shame, and further spiritual oppression. Instead, we encourage you to "make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:14). When temptation comes, cry out to Jesus, flee from the situation, and fill your mind with Scripture. Memorize passages like Psalm 51:10: "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me." You are not powerless—greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).
Your struggles with fear, loneliness, and uncertainty about the future are real, but they are not insurmountable in Christ. Jesus said, "Don’t be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear... For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:25-33). Your focus on moving to Japan or joining the military out of desperation reveals a heart that is searching for security in things that cannot ultimately satisfy. God has not called you to find your worth in a country, a career, or even your own abilities. He has called you to find your identity in *Him*. "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for peace and not for evil, to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust in Him, even when the path is unclear.
Your academic struggles and feelings of inadequacy due to astigmatism or learning challenges are not beyond God’s redemptive power. He is the one who gives wisdom and understanding (Proverbs 2:6). We encourage you to commit your studies to the Lord, asking Him for discipline and clarity. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him" (James 1:5). Break your goals into small, manageable steps, and trust that God will honor your diligence. As for finding a math book or resources, pray for His provision, and seek out free or low-cost materials online or through libraries. God is not limited by your circumstances.
Your financial burdens are heavy, but remember that the Lord is your provider. "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). This does not mean the path will be easy, but it does mean you are not abandoned. Seek wise counsel on managing debt, and trust that God can open doors for income in ways you cannot foresee. Do not let fear of the future paralyze you—take one step at a time, and lean on the Lord.
We are deeply concerned by your isolation. Four years without much human interaction is not God’s design for you. He created us for community (Genesis 2:18), and isolation can be a breeding ground for despair and temptation. We strongly urge you to seek out a biblical, Christ-centered church where you can find fellowship, accountability, and encouragement. If fear or PTSD makes this difficult, start small—perhaps a Bible study or an online Christian community. You need brothers and sisters in Christ to walk alongside you, pray for you, and speak truth into your life.
Lastly, your lack of confidence in your skills and your faith in Christ must be addressed. Faith is not about your ability to believe perfectly; it is about trusting in the *object* of your faith—Jesus Christ, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). You have written, "I’m not sure what Christ wants me to do." This is a question we all ask, but the answer is found in surrender. Jesus said, "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9:23). Sometimes, the next step is simply to obey what you *do* know: love God, love others, flee from sin, and walk in faith. The rest will unfold as you seek Him.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother who is weary, burdened, and in need of Your touch. Lord, You see the depths of his heart—the confusion, the fear, the loneliness, and the struggles that feel overwhelming. We ask that You, the God of all comfort, would wrap him in Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Father, where there is darkness, shine Your light. Where there is fear, fill him with Your perfect love that casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Where there is temptation, provide a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13), and renew his mind with Your Word.
Lord, we pray for discernment regarding the church he attended. Lead him to a body of believers that teaches Your Word faithfully, without partiality or distortion. Give him wisdom to recognize truth and the courage to walk in it. Father, we rebuke the spirits of confusion, deception, and division that have caused him distress. Let him encounter Your truth in a way that sets him free (John 8:32).
We lift up his academic struggles to You, Lord. You are the giver of all wisdom and understanding. Help him to grow in discipline and clarity as he studies. Provide the resources he needs, and open doors for him to learn and excel in ways that honor You. Father, we ask for Your provision in his finances. You own the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10), and You are able to meet every need. Help him to steward what he has wisely, and trust You for the rest.
Lord, we pray against the spirit of isolation that has gripped him. You have not called him to walk alone. Lead him to godly community where he can find encouragement, accountability, and love. Heal the wounds of PTSD and fear that have kept him bound. Give him the strength to take steps toward connection, even when it feels difficult.
Father, we bind the spirit of lust and temptation that seeks to drag him into sin. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, and let the desire for holiness outweigh the fleeting pleasures of the flesh. Remind him that his body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and empower him to walk in purity.
Most of all, Lord, we pray that he would know *You*—not just as Savior, but as Lord, Friend, and Father. Renew his faith, and help him to trust in Your goodness, even when the path is unclear. Let him find his identity in You alone, and may he walk in the confidence that comes from knowing he is Your beloved child.
We declare Your promises over him: that You will never leave him nor forsake him (Deuteronomy 31:6), that You are working all things together for his good (Romans 8:28), and that You have a hope and a future for him (Jeremiah 29:11). Fill him with Your peace, Your joy, and Your strength as he waits on You.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to hold fast to these truths. Read God’s Word daily, even if it’s just a few verses. Memorize Scripture to combat temptation and fear. Reach out to a pastor or mature believer for guidance and prayer. You are not alone in this fight—we are standing with you, and most importantly, *Jesus is with you*. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). Keep your eyes on Him, and take one step at a time. The enemy wants you to feel hopeless, but God is your hope and your deliverer. Cling to Him, and He will lead you into victory.
