We hear the deep anguish and despair in your heart, and we are grieved by the heaviness of your struggles. Yet we rejoice that you have called upon the name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we find salvation, hope, and true deliverance. The Scriptures declare, *"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don’t walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit"* (Romans 8:1). You have acknowledged Jesus as your Savior, and that is the most vital foundation upon which we stand. Let us address your cries with the truth of God’s Word, prayer, and the hope that is found in Christ alone.
First, we must rebuke the language of hatred and vengeance in your words. You have spoken of destroying souls, resentment toward others, and even used profane slurs—these are not the words of one who is walking in the Spirit but in the flesh. *"But now you must also put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and shameful speaking out of your mouth"* (Colossians 3:8). The desire for revenge is not of God, for He says, *"Don’t say, ‘I will pay back evil.’ Wait for Yahweh, and he will save you"* (Proverbs 20:22). We urge you to repent of these thoughts and words, for they grieve the Holy Spirit and open doors to further spiritual oppression. The battle you face is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of darkness (Ephesians 6:12). Your focus must shift from cursing others to seeking God’s deliverance and healing for *yourself*.
You have mentioned the decay of your body through smoking, lack of discipline, and the influence of evil spirits. While it is true that our bodies can be affected by spiritual oppression, we must also take responsibility for our actions. *"Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If you have been ensnared by tobacco, laziness, or other destructive habits, now is the time to turn to Jesus for strength to break free. He has already given you victory through His death and resurrection. *"No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"* (1 Corinthians 10:13). You *can* overcome these things, not in your own strength, but through the power of Christ working in you.
Your mention of apocalypse teachings leading to fear and inaction is a serious matter. False teachings about the end times can paralyze believers with dread rather than spur them toward holy living. Jesus warned, *"Take heed that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will lead many astray"* (Matthew 24:4-5). If you have been exposed to teachings that have filled you with fear rather than faith, we urge you to study Scripture for yourself and seek sound biblical teaching. The end times should motivate us to live righteously, not in terror. *"But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life"* (Jude 1:20-21).
You have also expressed deep regret over lost opportunities—education, physical fitness, career paths—and a sense of being "obsolete" compared to others. But listen to the Word of God: *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). Your worth is not found in your physique, your degrees, or your career. It is found in Christ alone. If you feel called to join the military, seek the Lord’s will in prayer and wise counsel. However, do not place your hope in the army as your savior—only Jesus can fill that role. *"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the name of Yahweh our God"* (Psalm 20:7). If the military is God’s path for you, He will open the doors. If not, He will provide another way. Trust in His providence, not in your own plans.
Your thoughts of suicide are a direct attack from the enemy, who comes to *"steal, kill, and destroy"* (John 10:10). But Jesus came to give you life abundantly! Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary struggles, and it is a sin against God, who alone has authority over life and death. *"Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own"* (1 Corinthians 6:19). We plead with you: do not entertain these thoughts. Instead, cry out to Jesus in your despair. *"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise"* (Psalm 51:17). He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). If you are struggling with these thoughts, reach out to a pastor, a trusted believer, or a counselor *immediately*. You are not alone, and your life has purpose in Christ.
You mentioned giving away your money and feeling betrayed, as if God has not honored your sacrifice. But giving is not a transaction where we demand blessings in return. Jesus said, *"But when you do merciful deeds, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand does, so that your merciful deeds may be in secret, then your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly"* (Matthew 6:3-4). Our giving should be done in faith, not as a bargain with God. If you are in need, ask the Lord to provide—and trust that He will, in His way and timing. *"Don’t be anxious for your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ... For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:25, 32-33).
As for your desire to join the military, we pray that God would make His will clear to you. If this is His path for you, He will remove the obstacles. If not, He will redirect your steps. *"A man’s heart plans his course, but Yahweh directs his steps"* (Proverbs 16:9). Do not put your trust in the military, in recruiters, or in any earthly institution. Put your trust in Jesus alone. If you struggle with asthma, seek medical advice and pray for healing, but do not let it deter you from pursuing what God has called you to do. *"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me"* (Philippians 4:13).
Finally, we must address your exposure to ungodly influences, such as the "Church of Satan" in VR Chat and other dark spaces. *"What fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). You cannot entertain these things and expect to walk in victory. *"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you"* (James 4:7). Turn away from these influences completely. Fill your mind with Scripture, worship, and fellowship with believers. *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think about these things"* (Philippians 4:8).
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Lord, he is burdened by despair, fear, and a sense of hopelessness. But we declare that You are his hope and his deliverer. Forgive him for the bitterness, resentment, and ungodly words that have come from his lips. Cleanse his heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within him. Break every chain of addiction, laziness, and spiritual oppression that has held him captive. You have not given him a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Fill him with Your Holy Spirit and grant him the strength to walk in discipline, faith, and obedience.
Lord, we rebuke every spirit of suicide, depression, and self-hatred that has tormented him. These thoughts are not from You, but from the enemy who seeks to destroy. We command these spirits to flee in the name of Jesus Christ. Replace his despair with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind him that his life has purpose and value in You. You have plans for him—plans for good and not for evil, to give him a future and a hope.
Father, if it is Your will for him to join the military, open the doors that no man can shut. Give him favor with recruiters and provide for his every need. If the military is not Your path for him, redirect his steps and show him the way You would have him go. Heal his body, Lord, especially his lungs and his strength. Help him to steward his body as Your temple, glorifying You in all he does.
We pray for deliverance from every ungodly influence in his life—whether from false teachings, dark virtual spaces, or ungodly associations. Surround him with godly fellowship and mentors who will point him to You. Give him a hunger for Your Word and a passion for prayer. Let him find his identity in Christ alone, not in his physical abilities, his career, or the opinions of others.
Lord, we ask that You would provide for his needs—whether it be medicine, shelter, or opportunities for education and work. You are Jehovah Jireh, his Provider. Help him to trust in You completely, knowing that You will never leave him nor forsake him.
We thank You, Father, that You have already given him victory through Jesus Christ. We declare that he is more than a conqueror through Christ who loves him (Romans 8:37). Break the lies of the enemy that say he is forsaken or obsolete. Remind him that he is Your child, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, and called according to Your purpose.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to take these steps in faith:
1. **Repent of any bitterness, hatred, or ungodly desires**—ask God to cleanse your heart.
2. **Renounce any involvement with dark or ungodly influences**—turn away from them completely.
3. **Seek godly counsel**—find a Bible-believing church or pastor who can walk with you.
4. **Fill your mind with Scripture**—read the Word daily, especially Psalms and the Gospels.
5. **Take practical steps toward health and discipline**—start small with exercise, nutrition, and study.
6. **Reach out for help if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts**—you are not alone.
You are loved by the King of kings. Cling to Him, and He will never let you go. *"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7). Keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. He is making all things new.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
