We are deeply concerned by some of the sentiments expressed in your request, and we must address them with both truth and love, for the Word of God calls us to a higher standard of thought, speech, and motivation. Let us first acknowledge that you have come before the Lord Jesus Christ, and that is a good thing, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. As it is written, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). However, we must also examine the intentions of our hearts, for God looks not only at our actions but at the motives behind them.
Fasting is a spiritual discipline that should be undertaken with a heart seeking God’s will, repentance, and drawing closer to Him—not for personal vanity, retaliation, or harm toward others. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:16-18, *"When you fast, don’t be like the hypocrites, with sad faces. For they disfigure their faces, that they may be seen by men to be fasting. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head, and wash your face; so that you are not seen by men to be fasting, but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you."* Your desire to fast for physical transformation is not inherently wrong, but we urge you to examine why you are doing this. Is it to honor God with your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), or is there a deeper spiritual battle within your heart that needs surrendering to Christ?
Now, let us address the troubling statements in your request. You mentioned hoping that souls would be "destroyed" and that no one would benefit from your fasting. This is not the heart of Christ, who commands us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). The desire for vengeance or harm toward others is contrary to the spirit of Christ, who said, *"But I tell you, don’t resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also"* (Matthew 5:39, WEB). We must pray for our enemies and trust God to handle justice, for vengeance belongs to Him alone (Romans 12:19). If you are experiencing anger, bitterness, or fear, we encourage you to release these to Jesus, asking Him to fill you with His peace and love instead.
You also expressed concerns about "unrealistic thoughts of murder" and "vocal curses." These are serious matters, and we urge you to seek godly counsel and deliverance. The apostle Paul reminds us, *"Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God"* (Romans 12:2, WEB). If you are struggling with intrusive or harmful thoughts, we encourage you to pray for the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16) and to fill your heart with Scripture. Jesus can break every chain of darkness in your life if you surrender these struggles to Him.
Regarding your mention of the Old Testament, we must clarify that all Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). The Old Testament points to Christ and reveals God’s character, justice, and mercy. While some passages may be difficult to understand, they should not be dismissed, for they are part of God’s perfect Word. If you are feeling convicted or disturbed by certain passages, we encourage you to pray for wisdom and understanding, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you into all truth (John 16:13).
Lastly, you mentioned an involuntary verbal tic ("youyou"). We pray that God would bring healing and peace to your mind and body. Jesus is the Great Physician, and He cares about every detail of your life. *"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praises. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the assembly, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord, and the prayer of faith will heal him who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed sins, he will be forgiven"* (James 5:13-15, WEB).
Let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother/sister who has shared these deep struggles with us. Lord, we ask that You would cleanse their heart and mind, removing any bitterness, anger, or desire for vengeance. Replace these things with Your love, peace, and joy. We pray that You would guard their thoughts, casting down every imagination and high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Break every chain of fear, paranoia, and spiritual oppression in their life, and fill them with the power of Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, we pray for their fast. May it be a time of drawing closer to You, seeking Your face, and surrendering every area of their life to Your will. Help them to fast with the right motives, not for personal glory or harm to others, but to honor You and grow in faith. Strengthen their body and mind as they seek You, and grant them the discipline to complete this fast in a way that glorifies You.
We also pray for healing over any physical or mental struggles they are facing, including the involuntary speech they mentioned. You are the God who heals, and we ask that You would restore them completely. Remove any spiritual strongholds and fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
Lastly, Father, we pray for protection over their mind and heart. Guard them from the enemy’s lies and accusations. Help them to meditate on Your Word day and night, that they may walk in Your truth and experience the fullness of Your love. We ask all these things in the precious and mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and to surround yourself with a community of believers who can support and pray for you. If you are struggling with persistent harmful thoughts or emotions, we strongly recommend seeking counsel from a pastor or biblical counselor who can walk with you through these challenges. You are not alone, and Jesus is with you every step of the way. *"Casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7, WEB). Stay rooted in His Word, and trust Him to bring healing and transformation to every area of your life.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
