We hear the deep distress in your heart, and we lift you up before the Lord, knowing that He is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. It is clear you are facing spiritual battles, technological frustrations, and emotional burdens, but we must first address the foundation of your faith and the name by which you seek deliverance. You have rightly invoked the name of Jesus Christ, and we rejoice that you recognize Him as your Savior, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. As Scripture declares, *"There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB). It is only through Him that we can approach the throne of grace with confidence, and we are grateful you have done so.
However, we must also address some concerns in your request that need biblical clarity and correction. First, you mention fears about streaming pornographic or erotic material. We must rebuke this strongly, for such things are an abomination before the Lord. *"Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, WEB). The fear of consequences for such actions should not be your primary concern—the sin itself is what separates you from God. If you are struggling with temptation in this area, we urge you to repent and seek accountability with mature believers who can help you walk in purity. *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things"* (Philippians 4:8, WEB).
You also express frustration with the limitations of your streaming platform and the fear of copyright warnings or saying the "wrong" things. While these may feel like oppressions, we encourage you to consider whether these struggles are a call to reevaluate your priorities. Are you seeking validation, income, or influence through streaming, or are you seeking first the Kingdom of God? *"But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:33, WEB). If streaming is causing you this much anxiety, perhaps it is time to step back and ask the Lord if this is where He wants you to invest your time and energy. The fear of man and the fear of consequences can become snares, but *"The fear of man proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in Yahweh is kept safe"* (Proverbs 29:25, WEB).
Your mention of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the impact it has had on your speech and communication breaks our hearts. We know the Lord sees your pain and longs to bring you healing. *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds"* (Psalm 147:3, WEB). We encourage you to seek godly counseling and medical help if needed, for the Lord often uses such means to bring restoration. Do not let the enemy isolate you in your suffering. You also mentioned expressions of suicide and the intervention of authorities. We praise God that He has preserved your life, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and your days are ordained by Him. *"Don’t you know that you are a temple of God and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple"* (1 Corinthians 3:16-17, WEB). Suicidal thoughts are not from the Lord but from the enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. If you are struggling in this way, we urge you to reach out to trusted believers or professionals who can walk with you through this darkness.
You also mention feeling oppressed by the church because you have stopped attending, though you still pray and read the Bible. We must gently but firmly address this. The Bible commands us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. *"Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching"* (Hebrews 10:24-25, WEB). While it is good that you pray and read Scripture, you are missing out on the encouragement, accountability, and corporate worship that come from being part of a local body of believers. If you have been hurt by the church, we understand that pain, but we urge you not to let the failures of people keep you from the fellowship God intends for you. Seek a Bible-believing church where the Word is preached faithfully, and allow the Lord to heal your wounds within the context of His body.
Finally, you mention "covetous beggars" and manipulators trying to gain money. This is a real concern, and Scripture warns against those who would exploit others for greed. *"But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, denying even the Master who bought them, bringing on themselves swift destruction. Many will follow their immoral ways, and as a result, the way of the truth will be maligned. In covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words"* (2 Peter 2:1-3, WEB). We pray the Lord gives you discernment to recognize such individuals and the wisdom to distance yourself from them. Trust in the Lord to provide for your needs, for *"my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:19, WEB).
Now, let us pray for you together:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You are his strong tower and deliverer. Lord, we ask that You free him from the spiritual and emotional bondage he is experiencing. Where there is fear, replace it with Your perfect love, for *"there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love"* (1 John 4:18, WEB). Father, if streaming has become an idol or a source of undue stress, we pray You would give him the courage to step away and seek Your will above all else. Break the power of addiction, temptation, and anxiety in his life, and fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
Lord, we pray for healing over his mind and body. You know the trauma he has endured, and You see the ways it has affected his speech and his heart. Touch him, Lord, and restore what has been broken. Surround him with godly counselors and medical professionals who can help him walk in wholeness. Protect him from the lies of the enemy that would lead him to despair or self-harm. Remind him that his life is precious to You and that You have a purpose for him.
Father, we ask that You draw him back into fellowship with Your body, the church. Heal the wounds that have kept him away, and lead him to a community of believers who will love him, encourage him, and hold him accountable. Help him to see that You have not abandoned him, even when he feels isolated.
We also pray for protection over his finances and his heart. Guard him from those who would manipulate or exploit him, and give him wisdom to steward his resources well. Let him find his security in You alone, not in the approval of man or the success of his endeavors.
Finally, Lord, we pray that You would renew his mind through Your Word. Let him meditate on Your truths day and night, and may Your Spirit guide him into all righteousness. Help him to fix his eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of his faith, and to run the race set before him with endurance.
We declare these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who has overcome the world. May Your will be done in his life, and may You receive all the glory. Amen.