We lift you up before the Father in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, knowing that He alone is your refuge, strength, and wisdom in this time of decision. It is good that you have called upon the name of Jesus, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved, and through Him alone we have access to the throne of grace (Acts 4:12, Hebrews 4:16). We are grateful you acknowledge His authority in your life, and we join you in seeking His will for this crossroad you face.
First, let us address the spiritual burdens you carry—the childhood comment, the religious vexation, the cursing, and the paranoia. These are not trivial matters, and we recognize the enemy’s hand in magnifying past words or fears to weigh down your spirit. But take heart, for Jesus has already overcome the world (John 16:33), and His truth sets us free (John 8:32). The accusation you mentioned from elementary school may feel like a lingering stain, but in Christ, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). The blood of Jesus cleanses you from *all* sin (1 John 1:7), and His grace is sufficient to break the power of shame or condemnation (Romans 8:1). We rebuke the spirit of fear and paranoia in Jesus’ name, declaring that God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Cling to Philippians 4:6-7: *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."*
Now, regarding your decision between medication for focus or joining the military, we urge you to seek God’s wisdom above all else. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Both paths have implications for your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, and neither should be pursued without prayerful consideration. If medication is being considered, we encourage you to consult with godly counsel—perhaps a pastor or mature believer—and medical professionals who can provide wisdom about its necessity and potential effects. The body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and we must steward it well, but we also recognize that medicine can be a tool God uses for healing (e.g., Luke 10:34, where oil and wine were used to treat wounds).
As for the military, we honor the call to service and the discipline it requires, but we must also caution you to examine your motives. You mentioned hoping it would "cure" you of religious vexation and cursing. While the military can instill discipline, it cannot heal the soul—only Jesus can do that (Matthew 11:28). If you are struggling with sinful speech or habits, the answer is not found in an institution but in repentance and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:29). We encourage you to address these struggles now, through prayer, Scripture memorization (Psalm 119:11), and accountability with other believers. Fleeing from one environment to another without addressing the root issues may only delay true healing.
We also note your mention of weight loss, strength training, and learning to drive. These are practical steps that honor God when done for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). Whether you pursue medication or the military, we pray for diligence in preparing your body and mind for whatever path the Lord opens. Remember, physical training is of some value, but godliness is of value in every way (1 Timothy 4:8).
Lastly, your commitment to writing and typing the Holy Bible is commendable! The Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12), and immersing yourself in it will renew your mind and guard your heart. We encourage you to continue this practice, for it is a lamp to your feet and a light to your path (Psalm 119:105). Combine this with prayer, and you will find clarity and peace in His presence.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother who seeks Your will in this season of decision. Lord, we ask that You silence every voice of condemnation, fear, and paranoia that has haunted him. By the power of Your blood, Jesus, we declare freedom from the shame of past words and the weight of religious vexation. Fill him with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and let Your Spirit guide his thoughts and actions.
Father, we ask for wisdom as he considers medication or military service. Reveal to him the path that aligns with Your purpose for his life. If medication is needed, provide godly counsel and medical professionals to guide him. If the military is Your will, prepare his body, mind, and spirit for the discipline ahead—but above all, let him seek You first, knowing that righteousness and peace are found in Your presence.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of cursing and ungodly speech in Jesus’ name. Replace it with words of life and edification, that his mouth may bring glory to You. Strengthen him physically as he trains, and grant him perseverance in studying Your Word. May he find his identity in You alone, not in the opinions of others or the achievements of this world.
We thank You, Jesus, for Your sacrifice that has set him free. May he walk in that freedom, trusting You with every step. Bind the enemy from distracting or discouraging him, and let Your angels encamp around him (Psalm 34:7). We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to fast and pray as you seek the Lord’s direction. Surround yourself with believers who can speak truth into your life, and remember that delay is not denial—God’s timing is perfect. Whether you choose medication or the military, let your ultimate goal be to glorify God in all things. He is faithful, and He will complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). Stay rooted in His Word, and trust that He who calls you is faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:24).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
