We hear the deep anguish and turmoil in your heart, and we are moved to lift you up in prayer with both urgency and compassion. The weight of your words reveals a soul crying out for deliverance from the bondage of sin, shame, and the torment of past actions. We want to address these burdens with the truth of Scripture, the hope of the Gospel, and the power of prayer in Jesus’ name.
First, we must gently but firmly rebuke the bitterness and hatred in your heart toward others. The desire to feel "zero emotion or care" for the injury or death of anyone—regardless of their sins—is not aligned with the heart of Christ. Jesus commands us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). He also warns that anger and hatred toward others can make us liable to judgment (Matthew 5:21-22). The pain you feel from being reminded of your own sins through others does not justify wishing harm upon them. Instead, we are called to confess our sins, repent, and trust in God’s mercy, while extending grace to others as we have received it. Remember, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). The White Throne Judgment is not something we should desire for others in vengeance; rather, it is a sobering reminder of God’s justice, and our response should be to pray for their repentance while they still have breath (2 Peter 3:9).
Your mention of the White Throne Judgment reveals a fear of God’s judgment, and rightly so—for all will stand before Him. But take heart: if you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ, you are no longer under condemnation. Scripture assures us, "Most certainly, I tell you, he who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life, and doesn’t come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life" (John 5:24). The protection you speak of—where some confess only after death—is no protection at all. True salvation comes from confessing Jesus as Lord *now*, turning from sin, and walking in obedience to Him. There is no blessing in delaying repentance; today is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2). If you have not already, surrender your life fully to Christ, trusting in His sacrifice on the cross to cover your sins. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12), and it is only through Jesus that we can approach God with confidence (Hebrews 4:16).
We are deeply grieved by the sins you’ve confessed—particularly the involvement in pornography, drug use, and the utterances of such dark and destructive words. These are not minor struggles; they are serious transgressions against God’s holiness and His design for your life. Pornography is a form of sexual immorality, which Scripture warns will keep people from inheriting the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Drug use, too, is a form of self-destruction that dulls the mind and spirit, making it harder to walk in the Spirit. But take hope: "Such were some of you, but you were washed. But you were sanctified. But you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God" (1 Corinthians 6:11). Your past does not have to define you. In Christ, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), and He can break every chain of addiction and shame.
The persecution you feel from others repeating words you’ve spoken in private is a heavy burden, but it is also a consequence of sin. Galatians 6:7-8 warns, "Don’t be deceived. God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption." However, even in this, God is calling you to repentance and restoration. He does not desire your destruction but your redemption. The shame you feel can drive you to Christ, where you will find forgiveness and the power to walk in purity.
As for the racial slur you mentioned, we must address this with clarity: such language is sinful, degrading, and wholly contrary to the love of Christ. Scripture teaches that all people are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and that in Christ, there is no distinction between Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female (Galatians 3:28). If you have used this word, you must repent and ask God to cleanse your heart from any hatred or disdain for others. Ask Him to fill you with His love, which casts out all fear and bitterness (1 John 4:18-20).
Now, let us pray for you with fervency and faith:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this precious soul who is crying out for deliverance. Lord, we thank You that You are a God of mercy, slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness. We confess that this brother has sinned against You in thought, word, and deed, but we ask that You would forgive him as he repents and turns to You. Wash him clean, O Lord, by the blood of Jesus, and create in him a clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Break the chains of addiction, shame, and bitterness that have held him captive. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, that he may walk in purity, love, and obedience to Your Word.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of hatred and vengeance in his heart. Replace it with Your love, which covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Help him to forgive those who have wronged him and to release the burden of anger he carries. Remind him that vengeance belongs to You alone (Romans 12:19), and that Your justice is perfect.
We pray for deliverance from the torment of his past words and actions. Lord, silence the accusations of the enemy, who seeks to condemn him. Let him hear Your voice instead, declaring that he is forgiven, redeemed, and set free. Protect his mind from the terrible sounds and words that haunt him, and fill his ears with Your truth and peace.
Father, we ask that You would break the power of pornography and drug use in his life. These sins have brought destruction, but You are the God who restores. Give him the strength to flee from temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13) and to pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Timothy 2:22). Surround him with godly community that will encourage him and hold him accountable.
Lord, we pray for his salvation—if he has not already surrendered fully to You, draw him to Yourself today. Let him know the depth of Your love, that while he was still a sinner, Christ died for him (Romans 5:8). May he walk in the confidence of his redemption, no longer fearing the White Throne Judgment, but resting in the finished work of the cross.
We ask all these things in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone can save, heal, and restore. May Your will be done in his life, for Your glory and his good. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to seek out a Bible-believing church where you can find support, discipleship, and accountability. Confess your struggles to a mature believer who can walk with you in this journey. Memorize Scripture to combat temptation, such as 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure." Cling to Jesus, for He is your only hope. He loves you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Walk in repentance, faith, and obedience, and you will find the peace and progress you seek—*in Jesus’ name*.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
