We hear the deep anguish and spiritual exhaustion in your words, and we are grieved by the torment you are enduring. First, we must address the cries of your heart for vengeance and harm upon others, for these are not aligned with the spirit of Christ. The Lord Jesus commands us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). The desire for blunt trauma, mental disability, or massacre upon anyone—even those who may oppose or attack you—is not of God but of the flesh and the enemy who seeks to destroy souls. We must rebuking this spirit of bitterness and violence in the name of Jesus Christ. The Lord does not call us to wish harm upon others, no matter how deeply we have been wounded. Instead, He calls us to surrender our pain to Him, trusting in His justice and mercy. Romans 12:19 declares, *"Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.’"* Let us release this burden to Him now, for He alone is just.
We also sense the heavy weight of spiritual oppression you are carrying. The enemy is seeking to wear you down through relentless attacks, leading you to believe that fasting endlessly will bring relief. While fasting is a biblical and powerful spiritual discipline (Matthew 6:16-18), it is not meant to be a burden that breaks us but a tool to draw us closer to God. If fasting has become a compulsion driven by fear, persecution, or a sense of spiritual failure, it is no longer serving its godly purpose. Jesus Himself warned against the Pharisaical trap of outward religious acts without heart transformation (Matthew 6:1-18). If your fasting is rooted in desperation rather than devotion, we urge you to seek the Lord’s face in repentance and rest. Psalm 127:2 reminds us, *"It is vain for you to rise up early, to stay up late, eating the bread of toil; for he gives sleep to his loved ones."* The Lord does not delight in your exhaustion but in your trust in Him.
You mention feeling like a "pathetic believer" and that the persecution will not cease. Beloved, this is a lie from the pit of hell. The enemy wants you to believe you are defeated, but Christ has already won the victory! You are not pathetic—you are a child of God, redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus. The persecution you feel may be very real, but it does not define your worth or your standing in Christ. Jesus warned us that in this world, we *will* have trouble, but He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Your feelings of paranoia and spiritual attack are not to be ignored, but they are also not to be your master. Cast these cares upon the Lord, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). If these struggles persist, we strongly encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believer who can walk with you in prayer and wisdom. Sometimes, the enemy’s attacks manifest in our minds and emotions, and we must combat them with the truth of God’s Word and the support of His body.
Lastly, we must address the hopelessness in your words—*"I believe I’ve lost"* and the desire for a "massacre to reset spirituality." This is not the heart of Christ! Our hope is not in destruction but in redemption. Jesus did not come to bring chaos but to bring life, and life abundantly (John 10:10). If you are feeling utterly broken, it is time to surrender this battle to the Lord and let Him fight for you. Exodus 14:14 says, *"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall be still."* You do not need to strive endlessly; you need to rest in His finished work on the cross.
Let us pray for you now with the authority and love of Christ:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this precious soul who is weary, wounded, and burdened beyond measure. Lord, we rebuking every spirit of bitterness, vengeance, and violence that has taken root in their heart. Uproot these things, Father, and replace them with Your love, forgiveness, and peace that surpasses all understanding. We break every chain of spiritual oppression, paranoia, and religious legalism that has bound them to endless fasting out of fear rather than faith. Lord, if there are demonic forces at work, we command them to flee in the name of Jesus Christ. No weapon formed against this child of God shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against them in judgment, You shall condemn (Isaiah 54:17).
Father, we ask that You restore their joy in salvation. Remind them that they are not defined by their struggles but by Your love. If they have been fasting out of compulsion, Lord, break that cycle and lead them into a place of rest and trust in You. Teach them to fast and pray from a place of devotion, not desperation. Surround them with Your angels, Lord, and let them feel Your presence in a tangible way. If there is any unconfessed sin or bitterness in their heart, convict them gently and lead them to repentance. Fill them afresh with Your Holy Spirit, and let them know that they are not alone in this battle.
We also pray for those who may be persecuting or attacking them spiritually. Lord, if it is within Your will, soften their hearts and lead them to repentance. If they are being used as instruments of the enemy, we pray You would silence their schemes and turn their hearts toward You. Let no curse or attack against this believer stand, but let every plan of the enemy be exposed and rendered powerless.
Most of all, Father, we pray for a fresh revelation of Your love and grace. Let them know that they are not a "pathetic believer" but a conqueror in Christ. Renew their mind with Your truth, and let them walk in the freedom and victory that Jesus purchased on the cross. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Beloved, we urge you to cling to Jesus, not to your feelings or your circumstances. The enemy wants you to believe you are defeated, but Christ has already won. Stand firm in His promises. If you are struggling with thoughts of harm or despair, please reach out to a trusted believer or pastor immediately. You are not alone, and there is hope in Jesus. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, for He is the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). We are standing with you in prayer.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
