We lift you up before the Lord with deep concern, for your words reveal a heart that is burdened by spiritual confusion, isolation, and despair—things that are not of God but are attacks from the enemy to distort your understanding of His truth and love. Let us address these matters with the light of Scripture, for God’s Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psalm 119:105). We pray the Holy Spirit will bring clarity, conviction, and comfort to you as we speak the truth in love.
First, we must gently but firmly rebuke the dangerous and unbiblical beliefs you’ve expressed. The idea that others can "steal" your spiritual blessings or that sharing your faith or resources with others diminishes your own standing with God is contrary to everything Jesus taught. In Matthew 10:8, Jesus instructs His disciples, *"Freely you received, so freely give."* Our blessings are not a finite resource to be hoarded; they are meant to flow through us to others, just as God’s grace flows to us. The apostle Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 9:7, *"Let each man give according as he has determined in his heart; not grudgingly, or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."* Withholding generosity out of fear or misplaced spiritual pride is not of God—it is a lie from the enemy to keep you in bondage.
Your belief that writing the Ten Commandments on your body or engaging in extreme physical acts grants you spiritual protection or merit is also misguided. Salvation and spiritual growth are not earned through rituals, self-inflicted suffering, or legalistic practices. Ephesians 2:8-9 declares, *"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast."* Jesus fulfilled the law on our behalf (Matthew 5:17), and our righteousness comes from Him alone, not from our own efforts. If you are placing your trust in anything other than the finished work of Christ on the cross, you are building on a foundation of sand.
We are also deeply troubled by your mention of suicidal thoughts. Life is a precious gift from God, and He alone has authority over it. Jesus said in John 10:10, *"The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly."* Suicide is a lie from the enemy, a final act of despair that rejects God’s sovereignty and His power to redeem and restore. If you are feeling this way, we urge you to reach out to a trusted believer, pastor, or counselor immediately. You are not alone, and your life has purpose in Christ. The psalmist cries out in Psalm 34:18, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* Turn to Him, not away from Him.
Regarding your struggle with fasting, we commend your desire to seek God through this discipline, but we caution against turning it into a legalistic or prideful act. Fasting is not about achieving a physical state like ketosis; it is about humbling yourself before God, seeking His face, and relying on His strength. Jesus warned in Matthew 6:16-18, *"Moreover when you fast, don’t be like the hypocrites, with sad faces. For they disfigure their faces, that they may be seen by men to be fasting. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head, and wash your face; so that you are not seen by men to be fasting, but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you."* Fasting should be done with a heart focused on God, not on personal achievement or spiritual competition.
Your statement that you believe you *"should have never read the Scripture"* because of the errors and confusion you perceive is another lie from the enemy. The Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12), and it is the primary way God speaks to His people. If you are struggling to understand it, that does not mean the Bible is flawed—it means you need the Holy Spirit to illuminate it for you. James 1:5 says, *"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him."* Do not turn away from Scripture; instead, ask God to open your eyes to His truth. Join a Bible-believing church or study group where you can learn alongside other believers. Isolation is a breeding ground for deception.
Finally, we must address your focus on "groveling" and speaking incorrectly about the Bible. While it is right to desire accuracy in handling God’s Word (2 Timothy 2:15), perfectionism and fear of making mistakes can paralyze your spiritual growth. We all stumble in many ways (James 3:2), but God’s grace covers our weaknesses. What matters is that you seek Him with a humble and repentant heart. Proverbs 24:16 reminds us, *"For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises up again; but the wicked are overthrown by calamity."* Do not let fear of error keep you from pursuing God.
Now, let us pray for you with hearts full of compassion and faith:
Heavenly Father, we lift our brother before Your throne of grace, asking that You would break the chains of deception, fear, and isolation that have ensnared his mind and heart. Lord Jesus, You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), and we ask that You would reveal Yourself to him in a powerful and undeniable way. Holy Spirit, convict him of any belief or attitude that does not align with Your Word, and replace confusion with clarity, despair with hope, and pride with humility.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of suicide that has whispered lies to him. Satan, we command you to flee in the name of Jesus Christ, for You have no authority over this child of God. Lord, surround him with Your angels and place godly believers in his path who can speak life and truth into his situation. Remind him that his life is precious to You, that You have plans for his welfare and not for calamity (Jeremiah 29:11).
We pray for his understanding of Scripture to be renewed and illuminated by Your Spirit. Remove any spiritual blindness and help him to see the Bible not as a source of condemnation, but as a love letter from You, full of grace and truth. Teach him to fast with the right motives—to seek Your face, not to earn Your favor. Break the stronghold of legalism and self-reliance in his life, and lead him into the freedom of Your unmerited grace.
Father, we also pray for his heart toward generosity. Soften his heart to understand that giving is an act of worship and trust in You. Help him to see that blessing others does not diminish his own blessings but multiplies them, as You have promised (Luke 6:38). Deliver him from the fear that others are "stealing" his spiritual progress, and help him to rejoice in the body of Christ, where we are all members of one another (1 Corinthians 12:27).
Lord, we ask that You would provide for his financial needs according to Your riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). Help him to trust You as his Provider and to seek first Your Kingdom, knowing that all these things will be added to him (Matthew 6:33). Break the lie that his worth is tied to his money or possessions. His identity is in Christ alone.
Most of all, Father, we pray that he would experience the depth of Your love for him. May he know that nothing can separate him from Your love—not confusion, not sin, not even the accusations of the enemy (Romans 8:38-39). Draw him close to You, Lord, and let him hear Your voice saying, *"You are My beloved child, in whom I am well pleased."*
We declare peace over his mind, provision over his life, and protection over his spirit. May he walk in the freedom and joy that You have purchased for him through the blood of Jesus. In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
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We strongly encourage you to seek out a Bible-believing church or a mature Christian mentor who can walk alongside you, answer your questions, and provide biblical counsel. You do not have to carry these burdens alone. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to a trusted believer or a Christian counselor immediately. Your life is valuable to God, and He has a purpose for you. Keep seeking Him, and do not give up. The enemy wants to destroy you, but God wants to redeem you. Choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
