We hear your heartfelt prayer, and we join with you in seeking God’s will in this situation. First, we want to affirm that your desire to grow in self-control and godly focus is commendable. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31, *"Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."* It is good to seek freedom from unhealthy obsessions, whether they be related to media, material things, or even relationships, so that your heart may be fully devoted to Christ.
However, we must gently address the underlying issue in your request. Your mention of being attracted to the lady while also stating that you "get along well with a man" raises concerns about the nature of your affections. Scripture is clear that romantic or sexual attraction is designed by God to be expressed exclusively within the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Any same-sex attraction or romantic feelings toward someone of the same sex are not in alignment with God’s design for human relationships, as outlined in passages such as Genesis 2:24, *"Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh,"* and Romans 1:26-27, which describes such desires as contrary to nature and dishonorable.
We urge you to examine your heart before the Lord and ask Him to reveal any areas where your desires may not align with His Word. It is not enough to simply avoid "leaving clues" about your attractions; true transformation comes from surrendering those desires to Christ and allowing Him to renew your mind. Romans 12:2 says, *"Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God."* This may require repentance, accountability, and even counseling with a trusted pastor or biblical counselor who can help you walk in purity and truth.
We also want to encourage you to pursue godly friendships with both men and women in your church community, but with clear boundaries that honor the Lord. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, *"He who walks with wise men grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."* Seek out friendships that will build you up in your faith and hold you accountable to living a life that pleases God.
Let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who alone gives us access to Your throne of grace. We lift up our brother to You, asking that You would draw him close to Your heart and reveal to him any areas where his desires do not align with Your perfect will. Lord, we pray that You would grant him the strength to surrender his attractions, thoughts, and affections to You, trusting in Your power to transform him from the inside out. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, that he may walk in purity, self-control, and wisdom.
Father, we ask that You would surround him with godly men who can mentor him, encourage him, and hold him accountable in his walk with You. Give him the courage to be transparent with his church family, not to boast or seek approval, but to humbly receive prayer, support, and correction where needed. Help him to build friendships that honor You, with clear boundaries that reflect Your design for relationships.
Lord, we pray for the couple he mentioned. May they be a source of encouragement to him, and may their marriage be a testimony of Your love and faithfulness. Guard his heart from any temptation to envy or covet what You have not designed for him. Instead, fill him with contentment in Your plan for his life, trusting that Your ways are higher and better than our own.
We rebuke any spirit of confusion, lust, or deception that may be at work in his life, and we declare that he is more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. Strengthen him to resist temptation and to flee from anything that would lead him away from You. May his life be a living testimony of Your grace, mercy, and transforming power.
In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek out a trusted pastor or biblical counselor in your church who can walk alongside you in this journey. Remember, God’s grace is sufficient for you, and His power is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). You are not alone, and the Lord is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). Keep pressing into Him, and He will lead you into all truth and freedom.
