hellodarlin
Disciple of Prayer
Thank you for taking my prayer. Yes I am still dealing with being unemployed. My unemployment money is going to end on monday I still have no job. Im sorry I may have a part time position at meijer waiting on the background checks to come back. In the meantime I am still having panick attacks because every bill is becoming due and Im not sure how I am going to get them paid. I had my 5th dear john email from other employers telling me basically that I am not good enough for employment. That alone just makes me feel like a failure. I had a really bad night last night..... I came very close to killing myself. I honestly donot know what else to do about anything. My whole life was stripped down to nothing two years ago and I have been fighting like HELL to get it back! I think Im getting sick now... all of a sudden cant see in my left eye now. I had to save my grocery money just to get my eyes checked because i have no insurance had to to walmart. The doctor tried for an hour to diagnose me. In the end he tells me that I have a catarac in my eye says to me I am too young and that I will need a referal for a catarac surgeon and so on. MY GOD I ASK YOU HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE????? I HAVE STOOD STRONG WHEN MY HOUSE CAUGHT FIRE AND I LOST EVERYTHING AND MY CAT. I STOOD STRONG WHEN MY JOB WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME 4 MOTHS LATER. IU STOOD STRONG WHEN MY OWN PARENTS HAVE BEEN LYING AND BETRAYING ME... I STOOD STRONG WHEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LEFT ME.... I HAVE STOOD STRONG EVEN WHEN I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF DIFFERENT WAYS TO KILL MYSELF WITHOUT HAVING TOO MJUCH PAIN.....I HAVE NOTHING LEFT. I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE LITERALLY I STOOD STRONG STRONG WHEN ALMOST EVERY DOOR I HAVE TRIED TO OPEN TO GET A DAMN JOB HAS SHUT IN MY FACE!!!! but im still faithful /hopeful he will see and hear my cries as I type and intervene in away that only he can. Thank you father god for my trials and tribulations only means I have one heck of a blessing coming my way!!! Hallejah and thank you for letting me vent. Amen