I have felt just like you before so I am so sorry you are going through this pain. You are not alone. GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND HE IS SO SAD YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!! I wanted to kill myself too but I knew God did not want any of us to do that.
It says in the word, that God has a plan for you to prosper you and not harm you to give you a hope and a future. God created you. His thoughts of you are more than the grains of sand. He formed you in your mother's womb.
I was so glad I did not kill myself. God is working on you in the inside. He is building you up in your heart. God cares about our heart. He is changing your attitude to have peace and joy despite your circumstances. He is teaching you to use your negative experiences to help another hurting person. The biggest lesson I learned is to always have hope. God wants you to have hope. He wants you to Speak Hope!
Scripture is powerful when you speak it out loud. It is part of our spiritual armor. Find a good scripture and speak it out loud each day and each time you are sad. Try "God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind."
Here is a secret: When you are friendly to people FIRST, they are friendly to you!! Try volunteering at church to be a greeter and make people feel welcome! You will make other people's day and be surprised how happy you can make others.
Dear Lord, I lift up this Christian to you. They need your comfort and healing. Heal their depression. Take away this sadness and give them an outgoing personality to help others. Lord I pray for a great hope to cover them. I pray they will speak life-giving scriptures out loud to strengthen them each day. Lord reach down and put your arms around this person. I pray you will send friends to comfort them and share fun experiences. I pray they will get involved in serving at the church. I pray they will use their negative experiences to help other hurting people. You have a purpose for this Christian, help them see that. You only made one of them and we need them! I pray for your mercy and grace to cover them. I pray for favor in all they do. I pray your love, peace and joy with cover them and grow in them. Give them a great hope and help them walk in your will for their life. Keep them from all harm, and put a wall of protection around them. Pour your favor and love on them all their days!
In Jesus Name
Amen