We hear the depth of your pain and the weight of 33 years of unrelenting struggle, and our hearts ache with yours. You have carried burdens no one should have to bear alone—chronic illness, physical limitations, financial hardship, and the crushing sense of abandonment. The enemy would love nothing more than to use this suffering to isolate you, to make you believe God has turned His face away. But we declare that is a lie. The Lord has not abandoned you, though it may feel that way in this dark valley. His Word promises, *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). Even when you cannot see His hand, He is working—perhaps in ways you do not yet understand.
Your body has been broken, your dreams deferred, and your hope tested beyond what many could endure. Yet even in this, you have not fully surrendered your faith. You caught yourself doubting and repented—this is evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in you. The fact that you still cry out to God, even in your exhaustion, proves that His grace is sustaining you. But we must address the dangerous thoughts that have crept in—the longing for cancer to return as an escape, the despair that whispers there is no purpose left. These are not from God. Jesus said, *"The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). The enemy wants to destroy you, but Christ came to give you life—even in the midst of suffering.
We must rebuke the spirit of despair that has taken root in your heart. The Bible says, *"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life"* (Proverbs 13:12). Your hope has been deferred for far too long, and it has made your heart weary. But we declare that your story is not over. God is not done with you. He sees every injustice—the medical neglect, the denied disability, the doors slammed in your face—and He will not let them go unanswered. *"Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord"* (Romans 12:19). You do not have to carry the weight of vengeance or justice; that is God’s role. Yours is to trust Him, even when it feels impossible.
You mentioned your mother’s healing from stage 4 colon cancer—this is a testimony of God’s power in your life! He saved her for a reason, and part of that reason may be so that you can care for one another. We pray that God would open a way for you to have your own home where she can live with you, free from assisted living. We also pray for your dream of education and work in cybersecurity. The Lord has not forgotten these desires. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). This does not mean He will give you everything you want in the way you want it, but He will align your heart with His will, and in that alignment, true fulfillment is found.
We must also address the physical and emotional toll this has taken on you. The unbalanced hormones, the chronic pain, the brain injury—these are not punishments from God. They are the result of living in a fallen world where sickness and suffering exist. But Jesus came to bring healing, and we believe He can restore what has been broken. *"By His stripes, we are healed"* (Isaiah 53:5). We pray for divine healing over your body—for strength where there is weakness, for balance where there is chaos, for relief where there is pain. We also pray for wisdom for doctors who can properly monitor and treat your conditions. The Lord can open doors where there seem to be none.
You have fought so hard to work, to heal, to try again—only to be met with more suffering. This cycle is not your fault. You are not lazy, you are not cursed, you are not forgotten. The Bible says, *"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed"* (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). You have been struck down, but you are not destroyed. There is still breath in your lungs, and as long as there is breath, there is purpose.
We also want to gently address the way you have framed some of your prayers. You cried out, *"Why, Lord, 33 years waiting for you?"* This reveals a misunderstanding of who God is and how He works. He is not a vending machine where we insert prayers and receive instant results. He is a Father who walks with us through the fire, who refines us in suffering, and who often works in ways we cannot see. *"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord"* (Isaiah 55:8). His timing is not ours, but His promises are sure. You have waited 33 years, but God’s faithfulness does not expire. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
Now, we lift you up in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who has endured so much for so long. Lord, You see every tear he has cried, every door that has closed in his face, every moment of despair that has threatened to overtake him. We ask that You would wrap Your arms around him in this dark hour. Remind him that You are near to the brokenhearted and that You save those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
Father, we rebuke the spirit of despair that has whispered lies to him—that his suffering has no purpose, that You have abandoned him, that death would be a relief. We declare that these thoughts are not from You. Jesus came to give life abundantly (John 10:10), and we pray that You would breathe new life into him. Replace his despair with hope, his weariness with strength, and his doubt with faith.
Lord, we ask for Your healing touch over his body. You are the Great Physician, and we believe that by Your stripes, he is healed (Isaiah 53:5). Where there is pain, bring relief. Where there is imbalance, bring restoration. Where there is weakness, bring strength. Open doors for proper medical care, for disability assistance, for financial provision. You are the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10), and we trust that You will provide for his needs.
We pray for his dream of education and work in cybersecurity. Lord, if this is Your will for him, make a way where there seems to be no way. Give him the strength to pursue this path, and open doors that no man can shut (Revelation 3:8). We also pray for his desire to care for his mother. Provide a home where they can live together, free from the burden of assisted living. Let this be a testimony of Your faithfulness in their lives.
Father, we ask that You would renew his mind. The enemy has tried to distort his view of You, to make him believe that You are indifferent to his suffering. But we declare that You are a God who hears, who sees, and who acts. Remind him of Your promises—that You will never leave him nor forsake him (Hebrews 13:5), that You work all things together for good for those who love You (Romans 8:28), and that Your plans for him are for good and not for harm (Jeremiah 29:11).
Lord, we pray for a fresh outpouring of Your Holy Spirit in his life. Fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Give him the strength to take one day at a time, trusting that You are with him in every moment. And when the weight of his suffering feels too heavy, remind him that You are carrying him (Isaiah 46:4).
We thank You, Father, that You are a God who redeems. You take the broken pieces of our lives and make something beautiful. We trust that You are working in his life, even now, and that one day, he will look back and see Your hand guiding him through every trial. Until then, we ask that You would sustain him, strengthen him, and fill him with hope.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
You are not alone in this. The Lord has not forgotten you, and neither have we. Keep crying out to Him. Keep holding onto His promises. And when you cannot pray, know that the Holy Spirit intercedes for you with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26). This season of suffering will not last forever. One day, you will stand before the throne of God, and all of this pain will be but a distant memory. Until then, lean on Him. He is your strength when you are weak, your hope when you are despairing, and your peace when the storm rages. You are loved. You are seen. And you are not forgotten.
