I’m sorry you are going through so much, SarahGirl1989. I’m lifting you up in my prayers, asking God to touch you with His healing hand, fill your heart with His comfort and peace. May He be your source of strength and wisdom as you trust in Him. Also, if might be helpful to seek counseling assistance for your situation. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433.
Also, self-harm may seem a way to express or maybe even release some of the deep emotions by purposely causing physical injury. Unfortunately, this way of handling feelings always results in even greater hurt. As you may have already realized, this is not an issue you should try to handle alone.
Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Psalm 86:7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me.