Submitting To Your Spouse Sexually

[kristie]

If you are married, which you are and remain so in Gods eyes even after humans divorce, then you are to submit sexually to one another. God states that man and wife are to submit to one another at all times, unless by mutual consent they agree to separate sexually for the sole purpose of fasting and prayer. He commands this as He states, to keep the marriage bed pure in that both can then resist temptation. So God is telling us that if we neglect one another in this area, we are opening a door to demonic temptation to adultery, so to keep that door shut, we must submit. God also said clearly that the wife’s body does not belong to her, but to the husband. The husbands body does not belong to him, but to the wife.

I realize that you are looking at this as she has wrong motives and that gives you unease with it. It does many standers, especially ones whose spouses are in known adultery with another and still returning to the standing spouse as well. I myself have been in that position. But, I too had to submit, because regardless of what anyone else thinks, including myself, I have to follow the commands of God.

There was also times when my spouse was out and was not engaging in adultery, and he was coming to me for this need for the same reasons your spouse is coming at you...it was not about love. In fact a couple of times he was out and doing this, he was fully demon possessed and it was hard for me because I felt like I was sleeping with the devil. I was not comfortable with it, but God spoke to me clearly that I needed to submit as His word states, as He was allowing this to keep further demons from coming in, demon spirits of adultery which just worsen your condition and battle.

The key to warfare is to fight the dark forces that are manipulating your spouse and pulling them out. One of the first steps in that warfare is to slam as many doors as you can to prevent more dark spirits from entering into the battle. You do not want Satan's army, that you are fighting, to grow in numbers, you want to defeat and decrease them. So, Gods word on submitting sexually is a key point to warfare, in your obedience and submitting sexually, you are closing the door on further spirits of adultery coming in. Right now, your spouse may be oppressed by them in that they are having trouble submerging those desires..they are toying with your spouse who is actually trying to do the right thing in coming to you instead of where they want your spouse to go, which is outward to someone else. They are normal human desires, but the dark forces will use them and even accentuate them to their purposes.

This is just a good example of how you really have to mind set yourself in the spirit and not the physical realm. As I teach all standers, your spouses are not the ones in control and operating in their behavior and the things that they are doing. The real person, the spouse that you knew prior to the attack on your marriage, is bound in chains and submerged beneath in her body and demonic spirits are using your spouse's body and mind to fulfill their desires of destruction, to your marriage, to you and to them.

Your spouse is not the one who has left you and filed for divorce, the dark forces operating within and outwardly through the spouse are the ones doing this and it is them that you are fighting, not the person. Once you grasp and understand this fact, then you can come to a place where what your spouse does and says no longer phases you, because it is not the spouse.

Standers get so upset when their spouses say things to them like that they do not love them, and other cruel things. The thing is, their spouses are not the one saying these things..yes, it may be their physical mouths and voice producing the words, but it is not their thoughts and it is not their projection of those thoughts coming out of them, it the demonic spirits using their bodies and mouths. Fact is, the spouses are going to vocalize these things because bottom line is, a demonic spirit does not love anyone, not you or anyone else, they do not even love your spouse that is being used, and on the flip-side you do not love that demonic spirit saying these things to you either. However, you do love your spouse that the demonic spirit is using, and you should love your spouse enough to want to set them free from the spirit manipulating them. That is your battle, to set your spouse free. To fight the spiritual forces holding your spouse so that your spouse can reemerge out from under them and after being set free, all the love and everything else between a husband and wife will come back, it will come out of that submergence where this is actually being held.

So you have to look at everything that the spouse does or says, and know who is really doing and saying it, and then look past the actions and words and find the spouse if applicable to the situation. In this case, finding your spouse is applicable because even though the dark spirits that are manipulating them are pushing their sexual desires in a crude manner, the spouse is still managing to hold some control of where they act them out...by turning to you for the fulfillment. This is actually a victory that you can step up and embrace, because if you submit, then the sexual spirits are not winning in getting your spouse to step outside the marriage with what they want. If you maintain that hold on them, on where they get their gratification sexually, then you are blocking them from going elsewhere and adding a dark force to their troops, the spirit of adultery.

Never be swayed by well meaning friends and family, because they do not know your battle spiritually and they operate and think in the physical realm, which is a place that you really cannot afford to be right now. You have to get into the spiritual realm of this battle, and they cannot go there with you. Some friends may do so, if they understand that this is spiritual and can think spiritually about it. Typically that person has been there themselves and can relate. That is why we emphasize to keep your situation only between yourself and like-minded persons, those who truly understand what you are dealing with and how to deal with it.

For every situation you come up against in this marriage battle, God has already given the answer. He did not leave us out here to guess what we are to do. It is all right there in His word which is a plan actually...a plan to live by, and a plan to battle by spiritually when facing opposition. If you stick to His plan, you cannot be defeated. Many standers that have faced this same situation and their spouses were officially in adultery, have worried if the spouse could give them some kind of sexual disease. Of course that is something to bring concern. But, whenever we follow the word of God and remain obedient to it, then we also have His protection. Disease, especially sexual diseases, are demonic spirits as well, they are of Satan. When we are walking with God and acting according to His word and His promises, obedient to Him, then no demonic spirits or inflictions can come upon us.

If your spouse is infected with a sexual disease, that is because he/she are in sin and afflicted by the demon spirits operating in their sin condition, but if you are walking with Christ and remaining true to His word, then that infliction cannot pass from them to you. And, for further reflection on 'if' that would be the case, that is Gods way of showing your spouse their sin and the result of that sin. Your spouse and the person they are committing adultery with would be inflicted with a disease and the stander, even though sexual with the infected spouse, remains free of that disease, is Gods way of showing Himself to the spouse and the outsider, showing that you are protected and under His grace while they were not..they are in sin and will suffer for such. This is just one of the ways that God would open a wayward spouses eyes to their sin actions and get them turned around. It would show them that to be right with God is to be protected and infliction free, and they hopefully would turn to Him on the spot in hopes of being healed in the doing so.

I always had this assurance in my spirit when I was in that situation with my own spouse. In fact I was very aware that God may just allow him and the adulteress to come down with a horrid sexual disease, a life threatening one, and that I would be standing there clear of such even though I in the physical realm had been exposed. I actually embraced that if it were to happen, because I knew that God would be opening my husbands eyes to truth and that would have been something that swung him around and back to God for sure, never to depart again. He would have seen the light from the dark, the light on my side and the dark on her side, and he would have shoved the dark from him and ran for the light with a hope of still being redeemed and saved from his plight.

Sexual diseases are demonic diseases inflicted from the dark side. God allows the person to be inflicted because of their sin. Truth is God really has nothing to do with it, as the person themselves are opening up the door to that infliction by committing their sin, inviting it to come in. If the stander is themselves walking with God, then there is no door open to bring infliction in by, even if exposed to someone else’s infliction, because we have His covering to block that. One of His commands is for us to submit to our spouses sexually because it is His plan by which we keep out the dark forces in our marriage and if those dark forces are already in the wayward spouses life and hence our marriage via their sinful actions, it is His plan then to drive them back out and shut the door again on those forces.

We as obedient children of God do not have to feel fear and hide from the dark forces by rejecting the word of God about submitting, feeling like we have to protect ourselves. God is our only protection and we stay under His wing of protection when we walk according to His plan and word. It is when we disobey His word and direction, that we step out from under His wing of protection and grace. We may feel like we took care of it for ourselves in protecting our bodies from sexual disease by not submitting, but the truth is in taking charge ourselves and going against His command, we just opened ourselves and our marriages up to another venue for the dark forces to come in and destroy. If you are not submitting how God commands, then you yourself are acting against His word, acting in rebellion with Him, and that leaves you open to the dark forces yourself.

I can also tell you that opening yourself up to your spouse sexually, is a step that God uses to bring you back together. I can testify to this.

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This is the end of Part one. It is continued below as a Reply to this Topic.

 

[kristie]

Submitting To Your Spouse Sexually Part 2 - (This is a continuation from Part 1 Above):

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One time when my husband was out, and he was determined that our marriage was over, that it was hopeless and we would not get back together under the same roof, as well as he was saying that he loved me, but not like a wife, like a friend more or less. He has been gone for about a month, and we had not seen each other but one time, and he was pretty cold in that encounter.

I ran into him at Walmart, which is another testimony of a burning bush from God as the day before God told me that He was taking me to my husband on the tomorrow at this exact time of His telling me. I thought my spouse was two hours away in another city the opposite direction as that was where he worked, and the Walmart I went to was back in our old home town where I had my eye prescription. I actually had been having trouble with my eyes and was getting no relief from my current eye doctor, so decided on a whim to go back to my old eye doctor of many years ago for help.

I made an appointment for that eye doctor, drove all the way there just to find out that for some unspoken reason, the doctor was not available and would be out the rest of the day. Disappointed I drove back off and was passing the Walmart in that town and decided to just stop there and see if they could help me because my current prescription was with my local Walmart eye doctor and I had not been getting anywhere in making him understand that I was having a problem. He just acted insulted that I did not trust his judgment in what he had prescribed for me.

When I pulled up in the huge parking lot, this was a huge supercenter, and got out, I happened to glance over and there was my husbands van parked facing me two spaces down. I started to jump back in my vehicle, but God prodded me and said, "I told you that I was taking you to your husband today, so go." I shakenly went in. I went straight to the eye center and they said they could see me but I had to wait for 30 minutes. I just sat there frozen, hoping to go un-noticed for that thirty minute wait. But within two minutes my step son walked right up to me and cheerfully said hi, and that his dad was in the store somewhere.

I became un-nerved at this and got up and began wandering down aisles, women’s aisles hoping to stay unseen. But within seconds, there he was coming straight at me. It was very awkward, but he stopped to talk to me and within fifteen minutes or so, he was asking me if we could meet and talk. I agreed, and note...the time was the exact moment God told me He was taking me to my husband. I went to my eye appointment, as the encounter lasted with him the exact amount of time I had to wait also.

I was only home a few minutes when he called and asked me to meet him out at the river. I went, and that is what he wanted, what your spouse may want. I was uncomfortable, but I knew this was orchestrated by God, so I just stayed in the spirit and went with Gods promptings. I came home and then under protest took it up with God however, and that is when He spoke to me clearly, "Obey my word, I am keeping your marriage bed pure!" These meetings continued for about two weeks, pretty much every other day.

It was strange because it was always a parking situation, I began to feel like I was a teenager sneaking around. The sexual encounters started out to be merely sexual on his part, him saying things much like your your spouse may, making it sound crude, just a taking care of business for him. But with each encounter, he began to warm up and be more personal and intimate, and began speaking about us and our marriage.

By the end of two weeks, my husband was in tears and begging me to let him come home again. I actually put him off another week or so in allowing that, seeking God for the perfect timing as I had always prayed that God not allow him to come home until God said he could. My husband was more seriously demon possessed at this time and difficult to have in the home. It was about one week later that my husband wanted a heart to heart talk about his spiritual condition and finally admitted that there was something very wrong with him spiritually, accepting that something was controlling him and wanting to be set free.

It was a traumatic event, one that I really felt like bolting from, because there was a serious battle going on between God and Satan within him. It got so bad in those couple of hours that it was teetering between him killing himself and giving his life back over to God. I actually saw (and have since) physical manifestations of demons. He would be peaceful one minute and the next growling and throwing himself about. He would be feeling he was redeemable and broken one minute and the next coldly stating that there was no hope for him and he must kill himself.

I just kept laying hands on him and praying, in between responding to the accusations being made at him by the dark forces with the truth of God. Finally it ended, and he went limp and broken and submitted to God. God then told me he could come home now. I never seen a man so joyous. I was to go to where he was staying the next day to help him gather his things. His unsaved band members were there and they were working on some music. He ran out to my car when I pulled up and grabbed me by the hand dragging me inside, he was all bubbly and excited, and announced to his band members that he was going home, rushing them out and getting his things together.

So here is my testimony of how doing what God says to do, submitting to him sexually even when the motives were not right as far as my spouse, turned out in the end of things. God uses those submissive encounters to work on the heart of the spouse. He uses it to defeat the enemies purposes in the act, to block the enemy from enlisting more demonic forces of adultery, and to bring a closeness back between the spouses.

Sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife is a God thing, a spiritual thing, so much so that God Himself addressed the subject in depth in Song of Songs. Sex between husband and wife is not only a physical act, but a spiritual blending and binding. Song of Songs is a book about sexual interaction between spouses, yet it says, "Place me like a seal upon your heart, like a seal upon your arm, your love for me is as strong as death, its jealousy as unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench your love for me, rivers cannot wash it away. If you were to give all the wealth of your house for me, it would be utterly scorned."

It sounds much like the love we should have for Christ, but God intends the love between a husband and wife to be comparable to the love between us with Christ and that is why He references so much to a common between us and Christ and a husband and wife. Both vows are very sacred and spiritual, the covenant made between us and Christ when we accept Him as our Savior and the covenant between us and our spouses. They are both very binding and spiritual. The sexual act between spouses is a spiritual thing as well, a melding and binding.

Many people, Christians, have a hard time mixing God and sex. I used to as well. I understand that sex between spouses is of God and God set up and ordained, but the act itself does not seem a God centered thing. He does not seem to be in it. I found out otherwise, and I have never really shared this experience with anyone before and never planned on doing so..but I guess there is good cause to.

The first time my husband fell to adultery and our world was rocked, our marriage devastated. I went through a very hard time, both physically and spiritually. I lost something like 20 lbs in the first week. I was spiritually torn and numb for that matter. I actually had no clue what to do or what God wanted of me. This was many years ago and I was a different person then spiritually. I could not function in any capacity, and I went to our church and laid on the alter, removing my wedding rings and placing them there before God, and I asked Him what He wanted of me, that I sought His will only and could not move physically, would not move, until He directed me.

I laid there for days, not hours, days in the darkness of the sanctuary...with family members quietly creeping in to check on me, my Pastor, never speaking to me but just seeing if I was still there and alive I guess. My husband creeping in and sitting for periods of time in the front pew, then leaving again.

Finally God spoke, and it was short business when He did. He told me to put my rings back on my finger and go home, to forgive my husband and work out the marriage. I struggled with submitting to him sexually, Satan was plaguing my mind with visions of my husband with this other woman, tormenting me. My husband understood and did not press the issue. Then a week or so in, God spoke to me and said I needed to submit to my husband and take back my rightful place both physically and spiritually. It was difficult, but I obeyed.

I can tell you that I had never experienced this before, and have never experienced it since, but in the physical act that happened between us, the Holy Spirit was right there, His presence between us. I cannot describe it, but if you know how it feels to be overcome by the Holy Spirit, weak and electrical I guess is a way to describe it, it consumed us both. Both of us were overcome and totally surprised although not the best descriptive. We both were amazed, stunned maybe, and felt that we had not experienced a sexual encounter but a strong spiritual encounter in the act. There was really nothing physical about it, it was overpoweringly spiritual and left us both spiritually overcome and drained. Strange I know and really no way to express the experience. We both felt like God Himself had merged us into one and spiritually sealed us, a spiritual mixing of ourselves. It sounds like a LSD drug trip to tell about it, but we were not drug users trust me and this was no hallucination. God was definitely present, His Spirit, during the encounter and we came away from one another feeling a love for one another that was not human oriented as well.

Submit to your spouse, joyfully. As a man, I am aware that you can be affected in performance by your feelings and comfort zone with it. So you may have the fear also that you will not be able to perform at what your wife is asking. Do not fear this. You have nothing to fear as long as you get in the right mind set of it, which is regardless of her perceived motives and what you feel about them in the physical man and realm, this is a battle for your marriage which is spiritual. Do not focus on the encounter as a purely physical performance thing, but a spiritual performance in an act of defense to drive the enemy out of your marriage with the power and blessing of God to help you. You are not doing it to please your wife, you are doing it to spiritually connect with your wife and to let God use it to bind the two of you and begin a healing process in the marriage. God will give you the ability, you just have to focus on Him and His ability, not your own.