Anonymous
Beloved of All
I'm struggling to find motivation right now. I feel like a failure. I failed at a lot of my life's dreams. Failed become the champion swimmer I wanted to be, I'm failing in my love life, I'm failing as a welder, and I'm failing as a Christian. I just can't win for losing. I think my motivation may be in part due to my autism, and my ADHD and just getting distracted by life's unfairness. I'm questioning why I chose to keep myself for my wife and not give up my virginity to anyone but her. I fear though that my choice to do so will never pay off. And that my efforts to stay pure are in vain. How much longer do I have to wait. I have already been tempted by several women to sleep with them, and I have refused their offer. One was my ex, girlfriend, whom I though at the time was the one, but she was not. It stinks having to wait so long for the right girl. And It feels like God is holding her back from me. I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I just want to meet my future wife. I keep imagining our close friendship in my head, and am wanting it so bad to become reality. I don't know how not to think about it. I just want my princess. I just want my future bride, and best friend. But apparently that's never gonna happen :bawling: . I don't understand why God won't let me meet her. Why? Just Why? I'm missing her so much, that it hurts. I'm never gonna find her. :confounded: :dissapointed_relieved: :confounded: :bawling: Why am I like this? Why am I such a worry wort. God what are you doing? Where's my princess? I need her loving touch. I need her warm hugs. I need her to be with me now. I need to see her, to feel her embrace. Please don't disprive me of her any longer. Please let today be the day that I meet her. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.