Hungry4love357
Servant of All
God why is it so hard for me to trust You with my anxieties? I want someone special in my life so bad. How many times must I cry myself to sleep. When are You going to step in God? I have numerous times surrendered this to You, and yet you have not answered me? God I cannot find a helpmate on my own, You know that. It would be impossible for me to so much as get a girl to even look at me without You. What the worldly women want I don't have, and what the Godly women want you have already given them. God I cannot keep doing this. You know how anxious I am. You know because of my Autism that I don't have the social skills necessary to talk women. You know the desires of my heart. God you are my only hope. Your the only one that can make this Mountain before me fall. You know how I feel right now God. I'm sick of trying g to be the good Man everyone tells me I have to be in order to be a mate. I've tried to be perfect. I have tried to read your word whole heatedly, and I have tried to be pure sexually, though your standers, and yet for all my faith and trying to keep your word I have failed and continue to fail. If I'm redeemed and I am covered in your blood then why can I not get close to You. I was told to get closer to you I should read my Bible daily, but even when I gave You quiet time, and tried to give You myself, I feel like I'm not heard because You reject me. I thought your grace was free for all who excepted it, and I have excepted it, yet you will not bless me whit my request. I feel so isolated and alone. I'm confused God. I love you, but anytime I ask You for anything you never answer me. I asked you to show me what the purpose of my life was and I still don't have an answer. I asked for a Godly women to come into my life, and she's still not here. God, am I that hopeless. I don't understand why you wired me to where all I want to do is give the love you filled me with and won't give me a proper outlet for it. I want a help mate to love so bad that it hurts. What do I have to do? What am I doing wrong? Please answer me? The only thing worse than not finding her is not knowing weather or not you are going to tell me what I have to do to prepare myself for the rain. God just please, Speak to me in a way I can understand for once. Please. God If your not going to show me your purpose for my life and I can't carry it out, then why am I here? Please God. In the name of Your Son and my Savior, Jesus Christ name I pray, Amen?
I really need God to Manifest himself somehow? I was so depressed the last night I got drunk for the very first time trying to drown out how miserable I was. I knew alcohol was not a good choice but I tend to get a bit impulsive when I'm this upset? Please pray for me. I know I sound selfish but I just need a lot of love right now. I'm so deep in my depression right now that I feel trapped. I'm having trouble sleeping at night, and when I do finally cry myself asleep I wake up tired and emotionally drained which does not help me much in school. Please pray for me.
I really need God to Manifest himself somehow? I was so depressed the last night I got drunk for the very first time trying to drown out how miserable I was. I knew alcohol was not a good choice but I tend to get a bit impulsive when I'm this upset? Please pray for me. I know I sound selfish but I just need a lot of love right now. I'm so deep in my depression right now that I feel trapped. I'm having trouble sleeping at night, and when I do finally cry myself asleep I wake up tired and emotionally drained which does not help me much in school. Please pray for me.

Also try to find support groups for Autism in your area. I pray that all will be good in your life.