Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your prayer has been heard and your pain is understood. To be betrayed by someone you tried to help and to be robbed of what you needed is a deep insult, and the fire you feel in your anger is a natural response to such wrong. God sees both the theft and the sting of the betrayal, and He does not overlook injustice.
You have done right to bring this honestly before the Lord, even to repent for your words while still holding to the truth that what was done to you was wrong. Scripture warns us that we will answer not only for our deeds but also for our words, and it calls corrupt speech, filthy communication, railing and clamor to be put away from us. The fact that you have already turned to God to confess what your mouth spoke in anger shows a tender conscience. Ask Him to keep guard over your lips going forward, so that your righteous sorrow over sin does not become a sin itself through bitter words. He can give you language that is truthful and firm without being defiling.
You quoted what God has said about bitterness and resentment, and that is the heart of the matter. Bitterness is described as a root. A bitter root cannot bear sweet fruit. It does not stay hidden in one corner of the heart but springs up and troubles the whole soul and can defile many around it. Wrath leads to anger, anger to clamor, clamor to railing and malice, and that fire when cherished inside burns the vitals more than an open flame. The call is to cut that root out at the beginning, not to deny that you were wronged, but to refuse to let the wrong take root inside you. To leave the matter in Gods hands as you have said is the right path. Vengeance belongs to Him. He will handle this situation with perfect justice and mercy.
Remember how the Lord Himself faced betrayal. At the supper the traitor sat at the table with Him, and yet He answered with meekness. He did not return venom for venom. He knew Judas would betray Him for thirty pieces of silver, for the love of money had made the traitor drunk and mad, selling the Lord for a small price. That same love of money still drives people to rob and deceive today. It is a grievous tyrant over the soul. Seeing this helps us understand the sin without excusing it, and it helps us not to become like the one who harmed us by letting hatred master us.
You also mentioned fasting and your medication. God does not ask you to harm your body to be heard. He made your body and knows your need for daily food with your medicine. Your prayer without fasting is fully heard. What He desires is a humble and trusting heart, not a fast that would injure you. Continue to pray, to eat as you need to, and to seek Him with a clear mind.
I will join you in prayer that God will bring restoration as He wills, whether through the return of what was taken, through other provision, or through the fulfillment of His promises to care for you. I will pray also that He will keep your heart from bitterness, give you peace that guards your mind, give you wisdom for any lawful and practical steps you can take to seek what is owed, and give you strength to forgive as Christ forgave, not by pretending the wrong did not happen, but by releasing the burden of vengeance into Gods hands.
May the Lord who was betrayed and yet remained meek give you that same meekness and calm, and may He lead you into His peaceful haven.
You have done right to bring this honestly before the Lord, even to repent for your words while still holding to the truth that what was done to you was wrong. Scripture warns us that we will answer not only for our deeds but also for our words, and it calls corrupt speech, filthy communication, railing and clamor to be put away from us. The fact that you have already turned to God to confess what your mouth spoke in anger shows a tender conscience. Ask Him to keep guard over your lips going forward, so that your righteous sorrow over sin does not become a sin itself through bitter words. He can give you language that is truthful and firm without being defiling.
You quoted what God has said about bitterness and resentment, and that is the heart of the matter. Bitterness is described as a root. A bitter root cannot bear sweet fruit. It does not stay hidden in one corner of the heart but springs up and troubles the whole soul and can defile many around it. Wrath leads to anger, anger to clamor, clamor to railing and malice, and that fire when cherished inside burns the vitals more than an open flame. The call is to cut that root out at the beginning, not to deny that you were wronged, but to refuse to let the wrong take root inside you. To leave the matter in Gods hands as you have said is the right path. Vengeance belongs to Him. He will handle this situation with perfect justice and mercy.
Remember how the Lord Himself faced betrayal. At the supper the traitor sat at the table with Him, and yet He answered with meekness. He did not return venom for venom. He knew Judas would betray Him for thirty pieces of silver, for the love of money had made the traitor drunk and mad, selling the Lord for a small price. That same love of money still drives people to rob and deceive today. It is a grievous tyrant over the soul. Seeing this helps us understand the sin without excusing it, and it helps us not to become like the one who harmed us by letting hatred master us.
You also mentioned fasting and your medication. God does not ask you to harm your body to be heard. He made your body and knows your need for daily food with your medicine. Your prayer without fasting is fully heard. What He desires is a humble and trusting heart, not a fast that would injure you. Continue to pray, to eat as you need to, and to seek Him with a clear mind.
I will join you in prayer that God will bring restoration as He wills, whether through the return of what was taken, through other provision, or through the fulfillment of His promises to care for you. I will pray also that He will keep your heart from bitterness, give you peace that guards your mind, give you wisdom for any lawful and practical steps you can take to seek what is owed, and give you strength to forgive as Christ forgave, not by pretending the wrong did not happen, but by releasing the burden of vengeance into Gods hands.
May the Lord who was betrayed and yet remained meek give you that same meekness and calm, and may He lead you into His peaceful haven.
