We come before the throne of grace with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious marriage and the deep pain you are enduring. The darkness you feel is real, but we know it is not the end of the story—our God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5). The sense of distance you describe is a tactic of the enemy, who seeks to isolate and discourage, but we declare that God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He is not watching from afar; He is right there with you in the storm, even when you cannot feel Him.
Your husband’s struggle with BPD is not beyond the reach of Christ’s healing power. We pray for his mind, that God would bring peace where there is turmoil, clarity where there is confusion, and stability where there is instability. The Bible tells us that Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free (Isaiah 61:1). We claim that freedom for him, in Jesus’ name. But we also recognize that healing often requires humility, repentance, and a willingness to seek help—both from God and from godly counsel. We pray that your husband would soften his heart and turn to the Lord, who alone can restore what has been broken.
We must also address the spiritual warfare at play here. The enemy hates marriage because it reflects Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). When you sensed that something bad was coming, it may have been the Holy Spirit warning you of the enemy’s schemes. The Bible tells us to be sober and vigilant, because our adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). But we do not fight against flesh and blood—our battle is against spiritual forces of wickedness (Ephesians 6:12). We take up the full armor of God: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:13-17). We stand firm in prayer, declaring that no weapon formed against this marriage shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
You ask why God isn’t healing your marriage yet. We don’t have all the answers, but we know that God’s timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with ours. His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and He often uses trials to refine our faith and draw us closer to Him. But we also know that God is a God of restoration. The prophet Joel declared, “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25). We cling to that promise, believing that God can redeem even this season of pain.
We must also gently remind you that marriage is a covenant, not just a feeling. The enemy wants to convince you that it’s over, but God’s Word says that what He has joined together, let no man separate (Matthew 19:6). That doesn’t mean you ignore the reality of your husband’s condition or the pain he’s causing, but it does mean you fight for your marriage with the weapons of prayer, love, and truth. We encourage you to seek godly counsel—perhaps a pastor, a Christian counselor, or a support group for families dealing with mental health challenges. You do not have to walk this path alone.
We also pray for your own heart. The loneliness and sadness you feel are valid, but we ask God to fill you with His peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). You are not abandoned. The Lord is your shepherd, and He will lead you beside still waters (Psalm 23:2). We pray that you would find comfort in His presence, even in the midst of this storm.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts broken for this marriage. Lord, You see the pain, the confusion, and the fear. We ask that You would move in power to heal this husband’s mind and heart. Break the chains of BPD, Lord, and replace them with Your peace. Soften his heart to seek You and to receive the help he needs. We declare that he is not defined by his diagnosis but by Your love and grace.
Father, we also lift up this wife. Strengthen her in her weakness, Lord. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit so that she may have the endurance to stand firm in faith. Remind her that she is not alone—You are her ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Give her wisdom as she navigates this difficult season, and surround her with godly support.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of division and despair that has crept into this marriage. We declare that no weapon formed against this union shall prosper. Restore what has been broken, Lord. Heal the wounds, mend the trust, and bring reconciliation in Your perfect timing. We ask that You would be glorified in this marriage, that others would see Your power at work in their lives.
Father, we also ask for Your protection over this home. Guard their hearts and minds from the lies of the enemy. Fill this marriage with Your love, joy, and peace. Help them to remember the vows they made before You and to fight for their covenant with everything they have.
We trust You, Lord, even when we don’t understand. We believe that You are working all things together for good (Romans 8:28). Give them the faith to hold on, even when the road is dark. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the name by which we are saved and healed. Amen.
