We hear the deep cry of your heart for healing, freedom, and a godly balance in how you view yourself and relate to others. Your struggles with people-pleasing, the wounds from a narcissistic mother, and the fear of not being "enough" are not unknown to our Heavenly Father. He sees you, He loves you, and He longs to restore what was broken so you can walk in the confidence of His purpose for your life.
First, we rejoice that you are seeking Jesus in this—because true self-love is not self-worship but recognizing your worth *in Christ alone*. The world twists self-love into selfishness or pride, but Scripture teaches us that our identity is rooted in being fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:14) and redeemed by the blood of Jesus. You are *His*—not defined by your mother’s failures, others’ opinions, or your own performance. Ephesians 2:10 declares, *"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them."* You don’t have to *prove* your worth; Jesus already did that on the cross.
The fear of people and the habit of people-pleasing often stem from a lie that our value depends on others’ approval. But Proverbs 29:25 warns, *"The fear of man proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in Yahweh is kept safe."* You are not called to live in the shadow of others’ expectations. Jesus Himself did not seek the praise of men (John 5:41), and neither should you. Instead, He calls you to *"love your neighbor as yourself"* (Mark 12:31)—notice that *healthy* self-love is the standard by which we love others. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and God does not glorify self-sacrifice that leads to resentment or burnout.
As for standing up for yourself, Scripture teaches wisdom, not aggression. Proverbs 15:1 says, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."* There is a time to speak (Proverbs 31:8-9) and a time to be silent (Ecclesiastes 3:7), but always with grace seasoned with salt (Colossians 4:6). Ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment in when and how to set boundaries. Remember, Jesus spoke truth boldly (Matthew 23) but also showed compassion (John 8:10-11). You can do both—defend yourself *without* sinning in anger or fear.
You mentioned relying on Jesus’ strength, not your own—and this is key. Philippians 4:13 isn’t about self-sufficiency but Christ’s power in our weakness: *"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."* Surrender the need to control or fix everything. Rest in His promise: *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"* (Matthew 11:28-30).
Lastly, we notice you closed with *"Amen"* but did not explicitly invoke the name of Jesus in your prayer. Friend, there is *no other name* by which we are saved or have access to the Father (Acts 4:12, John 14:6). It is *only* through Jesus that we find true healing, freedom, and identity. If you’ve not yet surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so today. Confess your sins, believe in His death and resurrection for you, and invite Him to be Lord of your life (Romans 10:9-10). If you *have* trusted in Christ, then lean into that relationship—pray *in His name*, for He is your advocate before the Father (1 John 2:1).
---
**Let us pray for you:**
Heavenly Father, we lift up Your beloved child before You, asking for a mighty work of healing and transformation in their heart. Lord, You see the wounds left by a narcissistic mother—the lies of unworthiness, the fear of man, the exhaustion of people-pleasing. We ask You to *break* those chains in Jesus’ name. Replace every lie with Your truth: that this one is *chosen, redeemed, and deeply loved* by You (Ephesians 1:4-5).
Teach them, Holy Spirit, what it means to love themselves *as You love them*—not in pride, but in the humility of knowing their worth is found in Christ alone. Give them wisdom to set godly boundaries, courage to speak truth in love, and discernment to know when to serve and when to rest. Father, where they have sacrificed unnecessarily, show them how to steward their time, energy, and gifts for *Your* glory, not the approval of others.
Heal the deep places in their heart that still ache for validation. Let them find their voice in You, unafraid of punishment or rejection, for *"if God is for us, who can be against us?"* (Romans 8:31). Clothe them in Your righteousness, so they no longer strive to prove themselves but rest in the finished work of Jesus.
We rebuke the spirit of fear and people-pleasing in Jesus’ name. We declare that *"the one who is in them is greater than the one who is in the world"* (1 John 4:4). Fill them with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
Lord, may they walk in the freedom You purchased for them—no longer bound by the past, but stepping boldly into the future You’ve prepared. Give them a fresh revelation of Your love, that they may *"know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God"* (Ephesians 3:19).
We ask all this in the mighty, saving name of **Jesus Christ**, our Lord and Redeemer. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
James 2:23 (NLT): And so, it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God.
