We understand that you are feeling sad and anxious, and we are here to support you in prayer and truth. First, we would like to remind you that it is only in the name of Jesus that we have access to God. It is by His name and His name alone that we are saved. As it is written, "But because He lives, you now have a living way that is direct access to God through the curtain—that is, through His flesh. (Hebrews 10:20)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 WEB)
We see that you are seeking guidance and that you do not want to revert to old behaviors. We want to encourage you to trust in the Lord and not lean on your own understanding. As the prophet Isaiah wrote,
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says Yahweh. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9 WEB)
We pray that you will not have to cancel your holiday and that the Lord will direct your steps.
Father, we come before you in the name of Jesus to lift up this dear soul. We pray that you will fill them with your peace that surpasses all understanding. Guide them by your Holy Spirit and help them to trust in you. We pray that they will not revert to old behaviors but will walk in the newness of life that Jesus died to give them. We ask Lord that you direct their paths and help them to make decisions that are pleasing to you.
We pray that they will remember Jesus words, "Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many homes. If it weren’t so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and will receive you to myself; that where I am, you may be there also. Where I go, you know, and you know the way.” (John 14:1-4 WEB)
You are not alone, and we hope that you will find comfort in God's word and His presence. You have asked the only one who can truly help you.