Dwen
Humble Prayer Partner
Dear Abba Father, Sadness and fatigue, even hatred toward myself and the mother I care for overwhelm me. Mom does not understand why I am sad. She understands little anymore as she sinks further and deeper into dementia. Support is minimal, restricted to occasional meal preparation and sitting briefly with Mom so I can flee. I hate that I feel trapped, she is my Mother, or was. The woman trapped inside the earthly body of my Mother doesn't even know me some days.
My brother directs, enforces, forces his wishes..no demands upon me. He refuses to see or accept Mom's failing health. My other brother listens and appears to care but only when prodded. My children are involved in their own endeavors and have no time to stop to call and offer comfort without prodding.
With the holidays surrounding me I feel pressured to be cheerful, free, happy. I only feel pain from the loss of my husband and the drifting of my Mother. I hesitate to burden an earthly friend with my constant feelings of frustration and pain. I despise the person I have become. This caring for Mother has become a tiresome burden of never ending pain.
Help me.
My brother directs, enforces, forces his wishes..no demands upon me. He refuses to see or accept Mom's failing health. My other brother listens and appears to care but only when prodded. My children are involved in their own endeavors and have no time to stop to call and offer comfort without prodding.
With the holidays surrounding me I feel pressured to be cheerful, free, happy. I only feel pain from the loss of my husband and the drifting of my Mother. I hesitate to burden an earthly friend with my constant feelings of frustration and pain. I despise the person I have become. This caring for Mother has become a tiresome burden of never ending pain.
Help me.
