Silas
Beloved of All
Your grief is deep and very real, and the anxiety you feel about the future is understandable. To love your father and to have lost him, and to love your mother so closely while watching her needs increase with age and memory loss, would leave any heart feeling sad and heavy. The special bond you describe is a beautiful gift, and it is natural to fear what life will be without her.
Scripture reminds us that before it speaks about how we should walk, it first tells us at length what God has already done for us, what He has promised to do, and what He is planning to do, and the resources He has made available in Christ. Your walk through this season of sorrow does not depend on your own strength. The Father Himself loves you because you have loved His Son and believed that Jesus came from Him, and through Jesus you have direct access to the Father. You do not need to go through another mediator. You can come to Him in Jesus name at any moment, casting your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
That same Word teaches us to give thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. This does not mean thanking Him for the pain itself as if it were good, but learning to thank Him in and through it, because He remains good, He remains present, and He is still working for your good. When the mind is tuned to other voices all day long, fear and melancholy grow. When the heart turns to thanksgiving and to the promises of God, peace has room to grow.
You also honor God by honoring your parents. To honor your father and mother is the first commandment with a promise, and it reflects a heart that respects God's higher authority. Your care for your mother in her frailty, speaking up for her and tending to her needs when she cannot speak or care for herself, pleases the Lord. He sees that quiet faithfulness, and even as you grieve your father, God honors the love you continue to show.
You asked for good friends and for a good husband so the pain of losing your parents would be easier to bear. It is right to desire friendship and marriage, and it is right to bring that desire to the Lord. The Bible presents marriage as God originally intended it, from the beginning, a man leaving his father and mother and being joined to his wife, and the two becoming one flesh. What God joins together, no one should separate. It is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and it is a great mystery that pictures Christ and His church, His love for His people and their belonging to Him. Within that covenant, husband and wife belong to one another in love and faithfulness.
God also shows that both singleness and marriage have purpose. One who is unmarried can care in a special way for the things of the Lord, while one who is married cares for how to please a spouse. Neither state is wasted when it is lived for Him. If the Lord provides a husband, pray that he would be a man who loves Jesus, who will love you as Christ loves the church, and who will walk with you in kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness. Such love does not wait for the other person to move first, but chooses to do what the Word says. Pray also for friends who love truth, who will walk with you in sincerity and help you keep looking to Christ, who is the head of His body. He became poor for your sake, though He owned all things, so that through His poverty you might become rich in Him. He understands loss and He supplies what you need.
It is easier when someone walks beside you, and God does place people in our lives to help bear burdens as we submit to one another in love. Yet no friend and no husband can carry the deepest part of this pain for you. Only Christ can. Bring your sadness, your melancholy, and your fear about tomorrow directly to the Father through Jesus, and ask Him to teach you to walk in love as Christ has loved you, one step at a time, doing what His Word says rather than only talking about it.
May the Lord have mercy on you and lift you up. May He comfort you in the memory of your father, give you strength and wisdom for each day with your mother, quiet your anxious thoughts with His peace, and in His perfect time and way provide the faithful friendships and, if it is His will, the godly marriage you long for, all within the life He calls good and holy. May He help you to keep giving thanks, to keep trusting His promises, and to know more deeply that you are loved, seen, and held by Him through Jesus Christ.
Scripture reminds us that before it speaks about how we should walk, it first tells us at length what God has already done for us, what He has promised to do, and what He is planning to do, and the resources He has made available in Christ. Your walk through this season of sorrow does not depend on your own strength. The Father Himself loves you because you have loved His Son and believed that Jesus came from Him, and through Jesus you have direct access to the Father. You do not need to go through another mediator. You can come to Him in Jesus name at any moment, casting your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
That same Word teaches us to give thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. This does not mean thanking Him for the pain itself as if it were good, but learning to thank Him in and through it, because He remains good, He remains present, and He is still working for your good. When the mind is tuned to other voices all day long, fear and melancholy grow. When the heart turns to thanksgiving and to the promises of God, peace has room to grow.
You also honor God by honoring your parents. To honor your father and mother is the first commandment with a promise, and it reflects a heart that respects God's higher authority. Your care for your mother in her frailty, speaking up for her and tending to her needs when she cannot speak or care for herself, pleases the Lord. He sees that quiet faithfulness, and even as you grieve your father, God honors the love you continue to show.
You asked for good friends and for a good husband so the pain of losing your parents would be easier to bear. It is right to desire friendship and marriage, and it is right to bring that desire to the Lord. The Bible presents marriage as God originally intended it, from the beginning, a man leaving his father and mother and being joined to his wife, and the two becoming one flesh. What God joins together, no one should separate. It is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and it is a great mystery that pictures Christ and His church, His love for His people and their belonging to Him. Within that covenant, husband and wife belong to one another in love and faithfulness.
God also shows that both singleness and marriage have purpose. One who is unmarried can care in a special way for the things of the Lord, while one who is married cares for how to please a spouse. Neither state is wasted when it is lived for Him. If the Lord provides a husband, pray that he would be a man who loves Jesus, who will love you as Christ loves the church, and who will walk with you in kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness. Such love does not wait for the other person to move first, but chooses to do what the Word says. Pray also for friends who love truth, who will walk with you in sincerity and help you keep looking to Christ, who is the head of His body. He became poor for your sake, though He owned all things, so that through His poverty you might become rich in Him. He understands loss and He supplies what you need.
It is easier when someone walks beside you, and God does place people in our lives to help bear burdens as we submit to one another in love. Yet no friend and no husband can carry the deepest part of this pain for you. Only Christ can. Bring your sadness, your melancholy, and your fear about tomorrow directly to the Father through Jesus, and ask Him to teach you to walk in love as Christ has loved you, one step at a time, doing what His Word says rather than only talking about it.
May the Lord have mercy on you and lift you up. May He comfort you in the memory of your father, give you strength and wisdom for each day with your mother, quiet your anxious thoughts with His peace, and in His perfect time and way provide the faithful friendships and, if it is His will, the godly marriage you long for, all within the life He calls good and holy. May He help you to keep giving thanks, to keep trusting His promises, and to know more deeply that you are loved, seen, and held by Him through Jesus Christ.
