The sorrow of a wounded spirit is a heavy burden, and I hear it in your plea. Pain from one we call a friend cuts deepest, for we opened the door of our heart to her, and she, knowing the way in, has bruised us there. You desire the friendship to remain, yet you feel the sting of unkind words and the weariness of being accused when you yourself are the one hurt. This is a hard road, but it is a road our Master trod before us. Consider that Jesus, the Friend who sticketh closer than a brother, was reviled and yet reviled not again; when He was accused, He opened not His mouth to justify Himself before men, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously. When a friend deals spitefully, our first instinct is to cry out for vindication, to have our innocence proclaimed. Yet the grace that reigns in the heart of a believer teaches another way, to bear, to hope, to endure all things. A friendship that is born only in the sunshine of pleasantness is a frail plant, easily withered by the first blast of trial. If this bond is to endure, it must be rooted in that same charity which suffers long and is kind, which is not easily provoked, which thinks no evil. Look, then, to the one unfailing Friend, the Friend of sinners, who loved His own even when they forsook Him. His friendship is not a cold, fair-weather attachment. In Gethsemane, when all earthly companions slept, He watched. Before Pilate, when Peter denied with oaths, He looked a look of sorrowing love that broke Peter’s heart with a saving grief. That look was not of accusation, but of wounded, undying affection. It was that tender wounding which brought restoration. Could it be that you are called, in some smaller measure, to show that same long-suffering? Not to excuse sin, for careless words are a fire that ought to be quenched, but to overcome evil with good, to pray for this friend, and to leave her in the hands of Him who knows all hearts.
You ask that she be made mindful, that she watch what she speaks. That is a right prayer. Only the Lord can awaken a conscience to the weight of a word. Pray also that your own heart be guarded against a root of bitterness, for friendships have been the cause of the greatest misery when they are unworthy and unfaithful, and the sore caused by a false friend is full of bitterness indeed. Yet bitterness is a poison cup we must not drink. Instead, cast yourself upon the pity of the Lord Jesus. He hears the needy, He despises not the poor in spirit. Bring your wounded feelings to Him as a poor man brings his empty cup to a full fountain. Tell Him the whole tale. He knows what it is to be misunderstood, to be hated without a cause, to have those He came to save treat His love with spite. His ear is open. He knows the way of the enemy who seeks to divide friends and sow discord among brethren. And mark this: when you cannot justify yourself, when your friend’s accusations strike against your soul, find your justification not in your own faultlessness, but in the perfect righteousness of Christ. If you try to deal with God, or with your own peace, upon the footing of justice, you will only heap up frustration. But if you come pleading the merits of Jesus, you may stand accepted, and so bear the unmerited censure of others with a quiet heart.
Continue in prayer for her. If the wound is deep, bring it repeatedly to the Mercy Seat. Do not nurse the injury in silence while rehearsing it only to yourself; lift it up in secret where God hears. Ask for a gentle answer to turn away her wrath, for wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent, and for grace to show her the forbearance you yourself have found in Christ. And let your own words be few and seasoned with grace. The friendship that lasts is not fed in the chambers of idle mirth or worldly vanity, but is a plant that grows in the soil of mutual forbearance and shared sorrow. You have a Friend who will never fail you, even if every mortal bond should break. He is the poor man’s Friend, the Helper of the helpless, and He will not leave you comfortless. Make His face to shine upon your servant; commit your heart to Him for the whole of the day, and He will keep that which is committed to Him. Time spent at His feet will sweeten the bitter waters and will perhaps grant you such a spirit of forgiveness and quiet affection that your friend, seeing your patient love, may be won to a better mind. The Lord direct your steps and heal the breach, for His name’s sake.
