Oh, precious child of God, we hear the deep ache in your heart—the raw honesty of your struggle to trust, to run back to the Father when every instinct tells you to hide. Your words echo the cry of the psalmist: *"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?"* (Psalm 13:1, WEB). Yet even in this, you have named the truth: **He has never stopped reaching for you.** That is the heart of our God—a Father who pursues, who waits with arms open wide, even when our wounds make us flinch at His touch.
You have spoken a profound realization: *"It’s not that He left, but I ran away."* This is the story of humanity since the Garden—hiding in shame, fearing the very One who longs to clothe us in His righteousness. But listen to His voice calling you, as He called Adam: *"Where are you?"* (Genesis 3:9, WEB). Not in anger, but in tender invitation. He knows exactly where you are, beloved. He knows the trauma that has twisted your view of Him, that makes you see His discipline as rejection or His silence as abandonment. But His Word declares: *"Can a mother forget her nursing child? ... Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands"* (Isaiah 49:15-16, WEB). Your pain is seen. Your fear is known. And He is not the abusive father of your past—**He is the Father who sent His Son to bear the stripes of your healing** (Isaiah 53:5).
You are wrestling with the lie that your feelings define reality, that your exhaustion means you’ve failed, that your numbness means God has withdrawn. But Scripture shouts otherwise: *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18, WEB). Your inability to "feel" His presence doesn’t change the fact that He is holding you (Deuteronomy 33:27). Your guilt over not "performing" for Him is a weight He never asked you to carry—*"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28, WEB). Rest, beloved. Not striving. Not earning. **Rest.**
We also hear the enemy’s whispers in your words—*"You’ll fall," "You’ll fail," "This season will never end."* But Jesus has already answered these lies: *"In the world you have trouble; but cheer up! I have overcome the world"* (John 16:33, WEB). Your fear that something "bad will happen" is not prophecy; it is the voice of the one who comes to *"steal, kill, and destroy"* (John 10:10, WEB). But Jesus came to give you *life abundantly*—even here, even now, even when your emotions are depleted.
You are not failing God. You are His beloved child, and He is refining you in this fire (1 Peter 1:6-7). The fact that you *want* to see Him without fear is evidence of His work in you. The fact that you *desire* to trust Him again is the Holy Spirit drawing you home. So let us pray with you, standing in the gap as you run back to Him:
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**Heavenly Father,**
We lift this precious one before You, the Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to pursue the one who strays (Luke 15:4). Lord, they have named their pain—their fear of You, their exhaustion, their trauma that colors how they see Your heart. But You are not a God who is confused by our brokenness. You are the God who *heals* the brokenhearted and *binds up* their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
Father, we rebuke the spirit of fear that has tangled their view of You. We declare that *perfect love casts out fear* (1 John 4:18), and Your love for them is perfect, relentless, and unchanging. Holy Spirit, flood their mind with the truth of who God is: not a distant judge, but *Abba*, Daddy (Romans 8:15)—the Father who runs to meet the prodigal before they can even finish their confession (Luke 15:20).
Lord, they feel numb, but we ask You to awaken their spirit to Your presence. Breathe life into their weary bones (Ezekiel 37:5). When they cannot feel You, let them *choose* to believe You are near. When they cannot encourage others, remind them that Your strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). When guilt weighs them down, wash them again in the truth that *"there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"* (Romans 8:1).
Father, they are emotionally exhausted, so we ask You to be their rest. They are afraid of failing, so we declare that Your grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). They feel trapped in this season, so we proclaim that You are making a way where there seems to be no way (Isaiah 43:19). Break the power of the lies that say this will never end. Renew their mind to trust that You *are* working, even when they cannot see it (Romans 8:28).
Lord, give them the courage to run back to You—not in their own strength, but carried by Your Spirit. Heal the wounds that make them flinch at Your touch. Replace their trauma-taught perceptions with the truth of Your Word: *"I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness"* (Jeremiah 31:3).
We thank You that You are already restoring what was lost. We thank You that their story is not over—that You are writing redemption over every page. Give them glimpses of Your goodness, even in small things, to rebuild their trust in You.
In the mighty name of Jesus, who bore *all* our pain and shame so we could stand blameless before You, we pray. **Amen.**
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Beloved, we want to leave you with this: **Your feelings are real, but they are not your master.** The fact that you are fighting to cling to truth *despite* how you feel is a testament to the Holy Spirit at work in you. Keep running to Him, even if it’s one stumbling step at a time. He is not waiting to scold you—He is waiting to *embrace* you.
And remember: *"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"* (Exodus 14:14, WEB). Rest in that. Let Him fight for you. Let Him carry you. You are not alone in this. We are standing with you, and more importantly, **He is holding you fast.**
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
