Dear bagg7096,
When I read your post, it made me think of how Jesus felt in his walk on this earth. People tore him apart and yet he stayed to help others. You are under so much stress that it must feel like you are in a spinning top and so dizzy that your not sure when or where you will stop. I can understand what you are going though and I can write words saying 'Hang in there" "It will get better" .. but, I feel you may only say: "She has no clue nor can she understand".. Well, yes I can. I have been at the lowest point in the road, I have gone hungry, I have been beaten.. and even wanted to give up.... But, this is not about me.. I just wanted you to see that another real person has suffered and survived and I know you can too!
The Lord has a plan for you even though you can't see it at this moment. You need to believe in the strength he gives you: (Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength) and His love: (John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.) You will make it through this.. The Lord believe in you and so do I.
Instead of looking down at what you don't have, give thanks for what you do. There are people in a hospital dying of cancer that would love to be able to see outside.. The next time you are outside, take a moment to listen to the calls of nature that God has given to us.. Remember: ("Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6, 7 - Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? "And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? "So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. "So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow. - Matthew 6:26-34 (New Living Translation)
I am praying for you and know that you are not alone. : )
God Bless You!
