Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing your heart so honestly. I hear the pain of being met with silence after you did not follow his financial plan, and the longing for a love that is not conditioned on money, for face to face reconciliation, for his safety, and most of all for him to know God and for God to be at the center. Those are good and right longings, and they deserve to be brought to the Lord with wisdom and truth.
Scripture speaks very directly to the situation you describe. God says, do not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. That principle is not limited to marriage alone, but to any close binding where a believer and an unbeliever are joined together and must walk as one. In that kind of yoke the two are always unequal, because one belongs to Christ and the other does not, and the direction of the relationship will always be pulled in two different ways. Many say, we love each other and I know he will change, and they determine to continue despite what the Word counsels. God warns to watch carefully there, because hope that a relationship itself will bring someone to faith often leads to compromise and sorrow.
This is why the most important prayer for him is not first that he would return to the relationship, but that he would be reconciled to God. The Bible teaches that the grace of God brings salvation and has appeared to all, and that whosoever will may come and will in no wise be cast out. That salvation is great because it reaches any sinner who will receive it, and it is near, as close as your mouth and heart, for if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Yet that offer is not to be put off. God says now is the accepted time, now is the day of salvation. To receive His grace in vain or to neglect so great a salvation leaves no escape, because eternal destiny is at stake. Every person needs to respond today while God is speaking to the heart.
So I encourage you to pray first for his salvation in that urgent way, that he would hear the gospel, repent, and trust Jesus Christ alone for salvation. Pray also for his daily protection, but remember that true protection is found when a person is in Christ, who is our light and salvation and strength.
For you, this is a time to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, not as working for salvation, but as walking in reverence and obedience because God is at work in you. That means denying a self centered path and taking up your cross to follow Jesus. Part of that is letting the ministry of reconciliation shape you, being reconciled to God through the Spirit and then living in a way that gives no offense so the ministry is not blamed.
In practical terms, love is not measured by whether you comply with a financial demand. A relationship where affection is withdrawn when money is not followed is not showing real love. Do not allow pressure over an investment plan to control your decisions or your worth. Seek wise, godly counsel from mature believers around you, keep clear boundaries, and do not use closeness outside of marriage to try to hold the relationship together. God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He reserves sexual intimacy and living together for within that covenant.
I will pray with you that God gives you clarity and peace, guards your heart, and helps you to trust Him with the outcome of this relationship. I will pray that your boyfriend hears the good news of Jesus, that today he would not harden his heart but would receive salvation, and that God would keep him. And I will pray that you will seek first to be pleasing to the Lord, submitting every relationship to His will, trusting that if He is your light and salvation you need not fear, for He will lead you in a plain path and will not forsake those who trust Him.
If God does bring conversation again, let it be with honesty, respect, and truth, face to face, without manipulation over money. Above all, ask the Lord to do what is best for both of you according to His will, even if that means not restoring the romantic relationship as it was, but bringing each of you into right relationship with Himself.
Scripture speaks very directly to the situation you describe. God says, do not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. That principle is not limited to marriage alone, but to any close binding where a believer and an unbeliever are joined together and must walk as one. In that kind of yoke the two are always unequal, because one belongs to Christ and the other does not, and the direction of the relationship will always be pulled in two different ways. Many say, we love each other and I know he will change, and they determine to continue despite what the Word counsels. God warns to watch carefully there, because hope that a relationship itself will bring someone to faith often leads to compromise and sorrow.
This is why the most important prayer for him is not first that he would return to the relationship, but that he would be reconciled to God. The Bible teaches that the grace of God brings salvation and has appeared to all, and that whosoever will may come and will in no wise be cast out. That salvation is great because it reaches any sinner who will receive it, and it is near, as close as your mouth and heart, for if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Yet that offer is not to be put off. God says now is the accepted time, now is the day of salvation. To receive His grace in vain or to neglect so great a salvation leaves no escape, because eternal destiny is at stake. Every person needs to respond today while God is speaking to the heart.
So I encourage you to pray first for his salvation in that urgent way, that he would hear the gospel, repent, and trust Jesus Christ alone for salvation. Pray also for his daily protection, but remember that true protection is found when a person is in Christ, who is our light and salvation and strength.
For you, this is a time to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, not as working for salvation, but as walking in reverence and obedience because God is at work in you. That means denying a self centered path and taking up your cross to follow Jesus. Part of that is letting the ministry of reconciliation shape you, being reconciled to God through the Spirit and then living in a way that gives no offense so the ministry is not blamed.
In practical terms, love is not measured by whether you comply with a financial demand. A relationship where affection is withdrawn when money is not followed is not showing real love. Do not allow pressure over an investment plan to control your decisions or your worth. Seek wise, godly counsel from mature believers around you, keep clear boundaries, and do not use closeness outside of marriage to try to hold the relationship together. God designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He reserves sexual intimacy and living together for within that covenant.
I will pray with you that God gives you clarity and peace, guards your heart, and helps you to trust Him with the outcome of this relationship. I will pray that your boyfriend hears the good news of Jesus, that today he would not harden his heart but would receive salvation, and that God would keep him. And I will pray that you will seek first to be pleasing to the Lord, submitting every relationship to His will, trusting that if He is your light and salvation you need not fear, for He will lead you in a plain path and will not forsake those who trust Him.
If God does bring conversation again, let it be with honesty, respect, and truth, face to face, without manipulation over money. Above all, ask the Lord to do what is best for both of you according to His will, even if that means not restoring the romantic relationship as it was, but bringing each of you into right relationship with Himself.
