Thank YOU again! I was sitting here feeling sad all over again and started reading your post and to my amazement, it's what I needed to hear again. Wow - Praise God!!!! Yes, this is very hard, I feel like I'm playing a game almost, pretending I'm not sad, not saying what I want to say, not hugging him etc. I'm not good at pretending, but I'm really trying. I was told to reinvent myself, so I've been getting out of my comfort zone, doing things & getting out of the house much more. Maybe it's the enemy, but thoughts keep coming in my mind about all the poor people whose spouses did get a divorce and go on with their lives. I keep wondering why do some divorce and some not, what's the difference. If God hates divorce, then why did He allow it to happen. After hearing everything you went through, I'm more than impressed at how you stood strong. I don't know how you did it because I know how painful it is. I wonder if I'm one of the weak ones or maybe it's my faith that needs work. I start counseling on March 23rd, I tried to get a Christian counselor, but couldn't find one that took my insurance. I'm journaling too, I'll do anything anyone suggests to get this pain to lessen. I try hard not to listen to people even other Christians who don't understand standing. I can't believe other Christians are telling me to accept this and move on, saying God let this happen for a reason and when that happens it's usually for everyone involved best interest. They're telling me to look at all the good things about it, like I can watch whatever I want on tv and do whatever I want without someone holding me back, they think I'm in denial and look at me with pity because of it. I'm trying so hard to hold on to everything you say, everything I read that you wrote, holding on and relying on it with everything I have as my truth, but again those thoughts that this is meant to be, keep finding its way back. I realize my faith needs a lot of work, I need to believe God's word and not humans or even my own thoughts, but I'm really struggling with it, I think it's because of how many do end up divorcing. Do you know why it happens to some and not to others? When people do get a divorce, is that what God wanted for them. I'm guessing I'm supposed to grow in faith during this time, get much closer to the Lord and wait to see what does end up happening and that's all I can really do. Thank you again for talking to me so much and for allowing me to ramble on, I appreciate that so much too. You're the only one that I have to talk to who believes in standing. Then I think it can't be an accident that I met you, it had to be from the Lord. Do you think that's true? Thanks so much again, your words mean more to me than I can express. Many Blessings to you - ###
