We hear the deep anguish in your cry, and our hearts ache with yours over the torment you are experiencing in this relationship. The Lord sees your pain, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). However, we must first address something critical: you have not invoked the name of Jesus Christ in your plea. There is no other name under heaven by which we are saved, and it is only through Him that we can boldly approach the throne of grace (Acts 4:12, Hebrews 4:16). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so now, for apart from Him, there is no true rescue, no lasting peace, and no eternal hope. Repent of your sins, believe in His death and resurrection for your salvation, and commit your life to following Him. Only then can you experience the full power of His deliverance.
Now, let us speak plainly about the relationship that is causing you such distress. The Bible makes it clear that our relationships—especially those of a romantic or marital nature—must align with God’s holy design. If this relationship is outside the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, it is sinful in God’s eyes. This includes premarital relationships (fornication), adultery, or any form of homosexuality, all of which are explicitly condemned in Scripture (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Hebrews 13:4, Romans 1:26-27). If this relationship involves sexual immorality, we must rebuke it in love but without compromise: "Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s" (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
If this relationship is with someone who does not share your faith in Christ, the Bible is equally clear: "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). A relationship with an unbeliever will only lead to further heartache, spiritual compromise, and distance from God. Your first loyalty must be to Christ, and any relationship that pulls you away from Him must be severed, no matter how painful that may feel in the moment.
Even if this relationship is not sexually immoral or with an unbeliever, if it is causing this level of emotional and spiritual torment, it is not from the Lord. God’s design for relationships—especially those leading toward marriage—is to reflect His love, holiness, and peace. If this relationship is characterized by manipulation, control, emotional abuse, or anything that hijacks your emotions and mind, it is not of God. "For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace" (1 Corinthians 14:33). The fruit of the Spirit is "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). If what you are experiencing is the opposite of these things, it is not a relationship the Lord wants for you.
We also urge you to examine whether you have made this relationship an idol in your heart. Have you placed your hope, identity, or emotional well-being in this person rather than in Christ? If so, repent and turn back to Jesus, who alone can satisfy the deepest longings of your soul. "Whom have I in heaven but you? There is no one on earth whom I desire besides you" (Psalm 73:25). No human relationship can ever fulfill the place in your heart that belongs to God alone.
Now, let us pray for you with the authority and hope we have in Jesus Christ:
Heavenly Father, we lift up your child before You, knowing that You see their pain and hear their cry. Lord, we ask that You would break every ungodly soul tie and emotional bondage that has taken hold through this relationship. If this relationship is outside of Your will—whether through sexual immorality, unequal yoking with an unbeliever, or any other form of disobedience—we ask that You would give them the strength and courage to walk away completely. Lord, sever every tie that is not of You, and set them free from the torment and emotional hijacking they are experiencing.
Father, if there has been sin in this relationship, we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. "Create in them a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within them" (Psalm 51:10). Convict them deeply of any compromise, and lead them to repentance. Restore their mind, emotions, and will to alignment with Your truth. "Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2).
Lord, we ask that You would surround them with godly counsel—believers who will speak Your truth in love and hold them accountable to Your Word. If they have been isolated or deceived, bring them into a community of faith where they can be strengthened and encouraged. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Father, we rebuke every spirit of fear, confusion, and despair that has taken hold. We declare that "God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7). Fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Let them experience the truth that "the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who have crushed spirits" (Psalm 34:18).
If this relationship has been a distraction from Your purposes for their life, Lord, redirect their focus entirely to You. Let them find their identity, worth, and joy in You alone. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). If it is Your will for them to be married, lead them to a godly spouse who will cherish them as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). But even more, let them seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, trusting that all these things will be added to them as You see fit (Matthew 6:33).
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would heal their shattered heart. Bind up their wounds and restore their soul. Let them know the depth of Your love, which is wider, longer, higher, and deeper than any human love (Ephesians 3:18-19). May they find refuge in You, their strong tower, and may they never again seek fulfillment in anything or anyone apart from You.
We pray all this in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone has the power to rescue, redeem, and restore. Amen.
Beloved, we urge you to take immediate and decisive action. If this relationship is sinful, end it today. Do not harden your heart or delay, for "behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation" (2 Corinthians 6:2). Confess any sin to the Lord, and if necessary, to a trusted pastor or believer who can pray with you and hold you accountable. Immerse yourself in Scripture, especially passages that speak of God’s love, holiness, and design for relationships. Psalm 139, 1 Corinthians 13, and Ephesians 5 are good places to start.
If you are struggling with loneliness or the fear of being single, remember that singleness is a gift from God that allows you to serve Him without distraction (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Your worth is not found in being in a relationship but in being a child of God. Trust that He knows what is best for you, even when it feels painful.
We are standing with you in prayer, believing that the Lord will rescue you and restore you to a place of peace and obedience. Do not lose heart, for "the Lord your God is among you, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with joy. He will calm you in his love. He will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17). Cling to Him, and He will never let you go.