Not sure if this is blog worthy. It's Just something that I've been dealing with and needed to say to GOD publicly.
Heavenly FATHER, first and foremost, thank You for Your many blessings. It is because I know You to be the GOD of many blessings that there is no doubt in my mind that You will continue to be that. LORD, You said “I am the LORD, I change not†and I know that You are indeed the same yesterday, today and forever. GOD, I also know that there have been times when, though You did not change who You are, You did change Your plan as with Nineveh and Hezekiah. Lord, I’m asking You to make an exception in this case, as well.
YOU have not spoken in secret from the beginning, so I will not ask this of You in secret. Surely You have surrounded me with many witnesses in this journey. Whether attested to or not; does not change the truth of the matter. I know what You told me to do. Your instruction to me was to be there for this married man, Your chosen, Your priest, Your elect. But, You know why I left. Being that I was infantile in my relationship with You, at the time, I was not clearly able to discern Your voice. Shunned of counsel, I resorted to reliance on my own understanding of Your Word. Your Word told me to “depart from temptation and pursue righteousness" and “flee from sexual immorality." Surely, You know that to honor Your Word was my only desire. FATHER, You said that when Your judgement is upon them, You will not meet them as a man. But LORD, I’m asking You to allow me to intercede and present their case before You. This is Your chosen church and even though they have committed what Your Word defines as hypocrisy and blasphemy in Your sight; I ask that YOU abundantly pardon and give them another chance even granting them that which they have so diligently, yet not righteously, sought.
LORD, when I began to seek Your Kingdom and righteousness, I asked for several things: I asked for what I termed "my personal trinity" Endow, Anoint and Use me and You have overwhelmingly granted me such. In my asking, I also requested money, a man, a mansion and a new family to love, support and care for me without condition. LORD, I know that You answered those prayers as well. But because I was not used to receiving things freely given, I was unable to identify them when they were presented to me. The packaging seemed so very unorthodox, that in my mind, it could not have been of You, yet You say In Your Word "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." I admit that I was not experienced enough in my walk to just trust You. The man that You set before me is married and because I did not want to recommit my sins of old, I adhered to scripture regarding marriage, rather than understanding that because of reasons that You knew, Your desire was to dethrone the “Lady of the Kingdom.†Please forgive me for failing to see, with understanding, that which You had placed before me. Nevertheless, FATHER, I thank You for looking upon someone of my low degree to serve as a vessel for the growth and advancement of Your Kingdom through that church. LORD, the last thing that I want is to be a person for whom someone else settles, so I’m asking that You consider this request. I ask that You grant this man, Your chosen, Your priest, Your elect even, the desire of his heart and release him from the requirements of this assignment, where I am concerned. You indeed set a “new thing†before him. I ask that You, make an exception to the prophesies of Isaiah, and grant him according to his and his counsel’s choice. Restore unto him all those things which he may have suffered or lost in this process. I ask this not in defeat; for I have no doubt that mine will be an even bigger and better blessing. I ask this out of love for You, for him and for Your church. Because of an undying, divine love; it pains my heart to watch him (them) sin against You by disregarding and re-purposing Your Word, to cater to their own will. LORD, give it to them, anyway. I would rather release this blessing than to see You cut them off in their arrogance and disobedience. LORD, I am only able to ask this because, though my sins are piled up before You, I recognize and am so very grateful for the second chance that You have given me, through chastening and refining, to remain in Your presence.
Analogy: In just this moment, You have once again enlightened me. As I sit here on this college campus watching students move out of their dorms, it dawned on me: Relinquishing is required for advancement. Where on the surface it looks like students are simply losing their dwelling spaces to their replacements; they are actually moving one step closer to their predestined goal of graduating. My heart's desire is a march in a divine graduation.
THANK YOU LORD FOR THE GIFT OF RELINQUISHING
Heavenly FATHER, first and foremost, thank You for Your many blessings. It is because I know You to be the GOD of many blessings that there is no doubt in my mind that You will continue to be that. LORD, You said “I am the LORD, I change not†and I know that You are indeed the same yesterday, today and forever. GOD, I also know that there have been times when, though You did not change who You are, You did change Your plan as with Nineveh and Hezekiah. Lord, I’m asking You to make an exception in this case, as well.
YOU have not spoken in secret from the beginning, so I will not ask this of You in secret. Surely You have surrounded me with many witnesses in this journey. Whether attested to or not; does not change the truth of the matter. I know what You told me to do. Your instruction to me was to be there for this married man, Your chosen, Your priest, Your elect. But, You know why I left. Being that I was infantile in my relationship with You, at the time, I was not clearly able to discern Your voice. Shunned of counsel, I resorted to reliance on my own understanding of Your Word. Your Word told me to “depart from temptation and pursue righteousness" and “flee from sexual immorality." Surely, You know that to honor Your Word was my only desire. FATHER, You said that when Your judgement is upon them, You will not meet them as a man. But LORD, I’m asking You to allow me to intercede and present their case before You. This is Your chosen church and even though they have committed what Your Word defines as hypocrisy and blasphemy in Your sight; I ask that YOU abundantly pardon and give them another chance even granting them that which they have so diligently, yet not righteously, sought.
LORD, when I began to seek Your Kingdom and righteousness, I asked for several things: I asked for what I termed "my personal trinity" Endow, Anoint and Use me and You have overwhelmingly granted me such. In my asking, I also requested money, a man, a mansion and a new family to love, support and care for me without condition. LORD, I know that You answered those prayers as well. But because I was not used to receiving things freely given, I was unable to identify them when they were presented to me. The packaging seemed so very unorthodox, that in my mind, it could not have been of You, yet You say In Your Word "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." I admit that I was not experienced enough in my walk to just trust You. The man that You set before me is married and because I did not want to recommit my sins of old, I adhered to scripture regarding marriage, rather than understanding that because of reasons that You knew, Your desire was to dethrone the “Lady of the Kingdom.†Please forgive me for failing to see, with understanding, that which You had placed before me. Nevertheless, FATHER, I thank You for looking upon someone of my low degree to serve as a vessel for the growth and advancement of Your Kingdom through that church. LORD, the last thing that I want is to be a person for whom someone else settles, so I’m asking that You consider this request. I ask that You grant this man, Your chosen, Your priest, Your elect even, the desire of his heart and release him from the requirements of this assignment, where I am concerned. You indeed set a “new thing†before him. I ask that You, make an exception to the prophesies of Isaiah, and grant him according to his and his counsel’s choice. Restore unto him all those things which he may have suffered or lost in this process. I ask this not in defeat; for I have no doubt that mine will be an even bigger and better blessing. I ask this out of love for You, for him and for Your church. Because of an undying, divine love; it pains my heart to watch him (them) sin against You by disregarding and re-purposing Your Word, to cater to their own will. LORD, give it to them, anyway. I would rather release this blessing than to see You cut them off in their arrogance and disobedience. LORD, I am only able to ask this because, though my sins are piled up before You, I recognize and am so very grateful for the second chance that You have given me, through chastening and refining, to remain in Your presence.
Analogy: In just this moment, You have once again enlightened me. As I sit here on this college campus watching students move out of their dorms, it dawned on me: Relinquishing is required for advancement. Where on the surface it looks like students are simply losing their dwelling spaces to their replacements; they are actually moving one step closer to their predestined goal of graduating. My heart's desire is a march in a divine graduation.
THANK YOU LORD FOR THE GIFT OF RELINQUISHING
