Relationship With Jesus

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kimwilke

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I have walked away from God and have done some very bad self destructive things. Things that I have done before I even asked Jesus in my life. Things like being promiscuous and such. I asked God back into my life almost 2 years ago and I am already walking out. I struggle with very bad depression. I thought about suicide, but I won't do it because I may go to hell. I have walked away until last night. i am going to go back to church. but the thing is I don't even know if I have ever really asked God into my life. I don't feel love and I don't know if he really loves me. I was sexually abused as a kid and that is all I know. My past. Hard to be happy and know that I deserve more. If I was the only one would Jesus still have died. I guess that I need prayer that I can truely have Jesus in my life. I don't know how.
 
Thank You Father for hearing this precious womans plea to You, and for saving her and making her to get bornagain for real! It's easy....she can just confess that she is a sinner that needs fogivness and salvation, and then You will forgive her, cleanse her in The Blood of Jesus and receive her as Your beloved child! And then she can start to live a brand new life in Jesus, and serve You....even in Godliness and Holiness....the rest of her life! Thank You for healing and restoring her, Father, in every way, and for helping her to forgive, love and bless those whom have been doing evil to her and hurt her during the years. You do have a loving plan for her life, so let Your will be done....in Jesus mighty Name, Amen!

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I pray for you

Take a look at
/>http://www.prayerrequest.com/blog/170/entry-419-the-message-from-the-lord/
 
Just know it is hard. and you will struggle. Satan will keep putting doubts in you mind to make you think you are unworthy of God's love but that is a lie. read the bible daily. read the story about the adulteress in matthew. everyone came to stone her and test Jesus. he said if you are without sin cast the first stone. everyone left and Jesus forgave her and told her to sin no more. we all make mistakes. Just start talking to God about all your worries and all of your fears and all of your mistakes. he will talk back to you and he will wrap his love around you.

I know i have been where you are from abuse to trying to commit suside. i wasnt afraid of going to hell. because i knew i just wanted to go home to God so that the pain would stop. i have a few blogs up. most about marriage and what pain i am going through now, but God does love you. and he has forgien you. it is not always flowers and roses but the more you read the bible the stronger you will get it is our sword against the thoughts that satan puts in our mind. that is where he goes to get us. but renew your self with the word. and it is hard. and there will be times you mess up. but God is our father and he loves us like a father and will forgive us over and over if our heart is right with him. he know we are but dust. he sees us as we truly are and as he has made us. he sees the plans he has for us for our good and not for our harm.

i hope this helps. you can cahy with me if you want.
 
Lord Jesus please don't stop knocking the doors of this loving person.Let the good thoughts enter her heart.Let your divine light demolish her guilty feelings,self hatred.Touch her dear Lord right now so that her meaningless worries fly away.I am quite sure you had a wonderful plan for her, when she will start praying with confidence and smile.Thank you Jesus for helping me write this reply.
 
Lord don't let Satan put thoughts of unworthiness so many times as women this leads to us to do other things to fill the void let them turn to you before its too late and something terrible happens amen
 
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