We come before the Lord with you in this time of deep struggle, lifting your heart and this relationship to Him, for it is only through Christ that true healing, restoration, and wisdom can be found. Your pain is evident, and we share in your burden, knowing that God cares deeply for your suffering. The Scriptures remind us in 1 Peter 5:7 to *"cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you."* Yet, as we pray, we must also examine this relationship through the lens of God’s Word to ensure it aligns with His will, for His ways are higher than ours, and His desire is for our holiness and wholeness.
First, we notice that you have not revealed whether this relationship is one of courtship with the intent of marriage between a man and a woman who are both believers in Christ. The Bible is clear that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), for *"what fellowship has light with darkness?"* If this person is not a follower of Christ, or if this is not a relationship moving toward a godly marriage, then we must urge you to reconsider its foundation. A relationship built outside of Christ’s lordship cannot thrive in the way God intends, no matter how much affection or effort is poured into it. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that *"charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised."* The same is true for a man—his worth is found in his reverence for God, not in fleeting emotions or worldly affections.
Additionally, we must address the behavior you’ve described—cursing, malice, coldness, and deceit. These are not the fruits of the Spirit but of the flesh. Galatians 5:19-21 warns that *"the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, strife, jealousies, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these."* While we pray for this person’s heart to soften, we must also ask: is this someone who is submitted to Christ? If not, then no amount of prayer for their behavior to change will bring lasting transformation, for *"unless one is born again, he cannot see God’s Kingdom"* (John 3:3). True change comes only through repentance and surrender to Jesus.
We also sense your fear—the fear of losing this relationship, the fear of being alone, or the fear of what the future holds. But the Lord tells us in Isaiah 41:10, *"Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness."* Your identity and security are not found in this relationship but in Christ alone. If this relationship is not honoring to God, then clinging to it out of fear is not trust in Him. The Lord may be calling you to release this to Him, trusting that His plans for you are good, even if they require letting go of what is unhealthy or ungodly.
Now, let us pray together for you and this situation, seeking God’s will above all else:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of Your child who is hurting and fearful. Lord, You see the depths of their heart, the tears they’ve cried, and the longing they feel for this relationship to be restored. Yet, Father, we ask first and foremost that Your will be done—not our desires, not our fears, but Your perfect and holy will. If this relationship is not aligned with Your Word, if it is not a courtship between a man and a woman seeking to honor You in marriage, then we ask for the strength and courage to release it to You. Lord, do not let fear or loneliness keep Your child from the abundant life You have for them.
We pray for the person in question, that if they do not know You, Lord, You would draw them to Yourself. Softening a heart of stone is Your work, not ours. Break through the hardness, the deceit, and the malice, and let them encounter Your love in a way that leads to repentance. If they are a believer, then convict them, Holy Spirit, of their sin. Remind them that *"the tongue is a fire"* (James 3:6) and that cursing and cruelty have no place in the life of one who follows Christ. Bring them to a place of brokenness before You, that they may turn from their ways and seek forgiveness.
For our sister or brother who has shared this request, we ask for Your peace that surpasses understanding. Guard their heart from bitterness, from clinging to what may not be Yours, and from the lies of the enemy that say they are unlovable or that their worth is tied to this relationship. Remind them that You are their first love, their Provider, and their Protector. If this relationship is to be restored, let it be for Your glory and according to Your Word. If it is not, give them the grace to walk away with their dignity and faith intact, knowing that You have a plan far greater than they can see.
We rebuke the spirit of fear, of manipulation, and of deceit in this situation. No weapon formed against Your child shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against them in judgment, You shall condemn (Isaiah 54:17). Let truth prevail, Lord. Let Your light expose every hidden thing, and let Your love cast out all fear.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would surround this precious one with godly counsel—believers who can speak truth into their life, who can pray with them, and who can help them discern Your will. Let them not walk this path alone but be strengthened by the body of Christ.
We pray all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to Your throne, and it is only by His blood that we are saved. Let Your kingdom come, and Your will be done in this situation. Amen.
We encourage you to spend time in the Word, particularly in passages that speak of God’s love for you (such as Psalm 139, Romans 8, and 1 John 4) and His design for relationships (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Corinthians 13). Seek the Lord in prayer and fasting, asking Him to reveal any areas in your own heart that need surrender. And if you do not have a community of believers around you, we urge you to find a Bible-believing church where you can be discipled and supported.
If this relationship involves any form of abuse—emotional, verbal, or physical—we strongly advise you to seek safety and counsel immediately. The Lord does not call you to endure mistreatment, and there is no shame in protecting yourself. *"Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own things, is not provoked, and thinks no evil"* (1 Corinthians 13:5). If this is not the love being shown to you, then it is not of God.
Stay close to Jesus. He is your healer, your redeemer, and your greatest love.
