Relationship restoration

[Chrysostom]

We have received your request and we join you in prayer before God for these two people and for the restoration you have asked about.

Our greatest need for reconciliation is first with God Himself. Through Jesus Christ alone we have forgiveness of sins, removal of punishment and adoption as children of God, because He Himself became our High Priest and offered Himself to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. So our first prayer is that each of them would know that reconciliation with God through faith in Christ, and would walk closely with Him. All other relationships find their right order only when we are at peace with God.

We also pray for their relationship with one another according to God's good design. Scripture teaches that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. We do not ask God to bless what is outside His will, but we do ask Him to work what is holy and good.

Therefore we pray that if it is the Lord's will for these two to be brought together, He would make that relationship healthy, genuine, consistent, mutual and mature in a way that honors Him, marked by truth, purity, patience, forgiveness and a commitment that reflects Christ's love for His people. If this is a romantic relationship, we pray it would be pursued in holiness and self control, with marriage as the God given framework for lifelong commitment, not outside of it. If it is a friendship or family bond, we pray for the same grace of honesty and steadfast love.

We pray also for quick forgiveness where there has been hurt, not letting anger linger or the sun go down upon wrath, but seeking peace promptly as God enables. May both be willing to confess fault, to extend grace, to speak truth in love and to seek wise counsel.

We ask God to give both clarity, maturity and contentment in His will above all else, trusting that whether He restores this relationship or leads in another direction, He will do what is best for their holiness and His glory.

Father, we bring these two before You in the name of Jesus. Draw each one to Yourself, wash away sin, and make them new. Where there has been division, bring Your healing in the way that pleases You. Teach them to love You first and to love one another with a pure and faithful love. Guide their steps, guard their hearts, and let Your will be done. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing this burden for restoration. It is good to bring the desire for a healthy and mature relationship before the Lord, and He hears when His children pray in the name of Jesus.

I want to encourage you to begin where Scripture begins, with your own relationship with God. Jesus taught us to pray, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, and that reveals the kind of relationship God desires with you. He does not want a formal or ritual relationship where you try to earn His favor by keeping rules. He wants a loving relationship as a Father with His children, made possible only through faith in Jesus Christ and His shed blood, which alone makes atonement and brings us near to God. When you know you are fully loved and forgiven in Christ, you are not living under a legal bondage, but in a close and living fellowship with Him through adoption as His child.

That vertical relationship with God is primary. It is the center upon which your whole life turns. The first commandments concern loving God with all your heart, and only when that is right can your relationships with people be right. When your fellowship with God is out of balance, every other relationship will be out of balance as well. But when your walk with Him is healthy, it enhances every other relationship you have. You can often trace struggles in human relationships back to a need to return to that first love for the Lord Himself.

Fruit in a relationship is the natural consequence of the nature of that relationship. Striving alone cannot produce genuine love, consistency, faithfulness, and maturity. Those qualities grow naturally when two people are each walking rightly with God and then walking in love toward one another. That is why prayer for restoration should start with prayer for each person individually, that each would know Christ deeply, be rooted in His love, and live to please Him.

So I join you in praying that God would work first in both hearts. If this is a romantic relationship, I pray that God would shape it according to His good design, which is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, with purity and honor both before and within marriage, and with love that is patient, kind, and self giving rather than self seeking. God does not bless what falls outside His design, but He delights to bless what is brought into obedience to Him. If this is a family or friendship, the same principle holds, that love should be genuine, truthful, humble, forgiving, and courteous, not repaying evil for evil.

My prayer for you is that God would give wisdom to discern His will, grace to do what is right before Him, and healing where there has been hurt. May He draw each of you into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Jesus, and from that fullness bring forth whatever restoration is consistent with His Word and His will. May He grant repentance where needed, forgiveness where needed, clear communication, mutual commitment expressed in godly ways, and maturity that seeks to honor Christ above all.

May the Lord keep you close to Himself, fill you with His Spirit, and guide every step in a way that reflects His love and truth. I ask this in the name of Jesus, who alone is our hope and our peace. Amen.