Reconciliation

[Dhitlor]

I have been trying to reconcile some estranged relationships but it has been a very, very difficult process. In the past year, Christ has been working on me with my problems with unforgiveness and me trying to reconcile these relationships was part of that process. But for certain reasons, it doesn't seem that God actually wants me to be close to these people I'm trying to reconcile with and it even seems that He's leading me away from them in certain ways as I try to reach out. This process has been stressful and also exposed me to mental/emotional distress for certain reasons. Please pray with me that perhaps God would allow me to remain at a godly, kind distance from these people permanently and not have to seek any further relationship with them than that. It's just been too hard. These are unsaved family. Again, I don't know why God had me reach out but I believe it was for a purpose. Still, I no longer want to seek close relationships with these people for my own protection. Thank you.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart in this and we join with you in prayer, thanking God for the work Christ has been doing in you over this past year regarding unforgiveness. What you have walked through is deeply painful and we commend your obedience in seeking to reconcile. Your desire to forgive and to reach out reflects the heart of our Lord, and we believe He has used this process for your sanctification even if the outcome was not the restored closeness you had hoped for.

We want to gently encourage you with a biblical distinction that brings much peace. Scripture commands us to forgive, but reconciliation is not always possible and is not always God's will for a close relationship to be restored. We are called to forgive as we have been forgiven, as it is written Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Eph 4:32 and Bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do Col 3:13. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart before God, releasing the debt and entrusting justice to Him. Reconciliation, however, requires repentance, trust, and safety, and it takes two willing hearts.

The Word also teaches us If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Rom 12:18. That phrase as much as it is up to you shows us that peace does not always mean restored intimacy, especially when the other persons remain unsaved and perhaps continue in patterns that bring harm. We are also taught Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Prov 4:23 and we are warned not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity 2 Cor 6:14. Loving your unsaved family from a godly, kind distance is not unspiritual or unloving, it can be the most wise and loving posture. You can love them, bless them, and pray for their salvation while also guarding your heart and mind in Christ. Jesus Himself taught that there are times when we shake the dust from our feet and move forward when our peace is not received Matt 10:14, and that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who mistreat us Matt 5:44, which you can faithfully do even from a distance.

We do not believe your efforts were in vain. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Rom 8:28. God used your obedience to expose and heal areas of unforgiveness, to deepen your dependence on Him, and to give those family members a witness of Christ's love in you. Even if they did not respond, the seed was sown, and God sees your faithfulness. It is also merciful that He would lead you away for your protection when closeness would have exposed you to further mental and emotional distress. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Ps 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Ps 147:3.

We pray with you now.

Father in heaven, we come before Your throne of grace in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We thank You for this dear one and for the work You have already done in their heart to release unforgiveness and to seek peace. Lord, You have seen every difficult conversation, every attempt to reach out, every moment of stress and emotional pain, and we ask You to pour out Your healing and Your peace that surpasses all understanding. We ask in Jesus' name that You would grant permission and peace for a godly, kind distance from these unsaved family members, a boundary that honors You and protects the heart You are guarding. Give wisdom to know how to love them well from that distance, to speak with kindness when contact happens, and to pray faithfully for their salvation without being drawn back into harm. Remove any false guilt or condemnation, and replace it with the assurance that to forgive does not require returning to closeness that is unsafe. Restore strength, renew the mind, and let Your perfect love cast out fear, for You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Tim 1:7. We entrust these family members into Your hands, asking that You would draw them to Yourself, open their eyes to the gospel, and bring them to repentance and faith in Christ. Let this dear one rest in Your will, knowing that obedience is success in Your eyes, and that You will continue to lead with gentleness and clarity. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only access to You and our only hope of salvation. Amen.

We encourage you to remain steadfast in prayer for your family’s salvation while firmly maintaining the healthy boundaries God is showing you. Continue to keep your heart diligently, stay rooted in the Word and in fellowship with believers who build you up, and trust that the Lord who began this good work in you will be faithful to complete it and to give you rest from this long and stressful struggle.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this past year has been for you, trying to walk faithfully with what Christ has been teaching you about forgiveness while also reaching out to family. Wanting to obey Him and also needing to protect your heart is a hard tension to carry, and it makes sense you feel worn down and ready for some peace.

What you describe brings out something we have seen often. Forgiveness is the work God does in us as we release resentment and the urge to get even and learn to want good for the other person in a Christlike way. Reconciliation is different. It is the rebuilding of trust and closeness together, and it takes both people willing and able to move toward each other in a healthy way. You can forgive fully and still, in wisdom, remain at a kind and respectful distance, especially when closeness has repeatedly brought distress.

If it would help, you might try writing down what a godly, kind distance looks like for you with each of these family members, what kind of contact feels sustainable and what does not, and share it with a trusted pastor or counselor for perspective and prayer. You do not have to settle every future decision at once. If the distress has felt heavy, we encourage you to keep talking with someone you trust alongside prayer, so you are not carrying it alone.

Father, we lift this friend to You in Jesus name. Thank You for the work You have already done in their heart toward forgiveness. Give clear wisdom for each relationship, guard their mind and heart, and grant rest after this stressful season. Keep these family members before Your mercy and lead our friend in Your gentle way day by day. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your request has been heard and we have carried it before the Lord with tender concern for your soul. You speak of a year in which Christ has been working upon your heart to root out unforgiveness, and of painful efforts to reconcile with those who are near to you by blood yet far from Christ by faith. It is no small thing to obey the impulse to reach out, and it is no small trial to find the door not opened, and the spirit distressed thereby.

We are taught in the Word that there is forgiveness with God, and that it is without money and without price. It is a divine forgiveness, I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions, surprising in its freeness, complete in its extent, eternal in its duration. We who have received such full and free pardon through the precious blood of Christ, who saw Gethsemane and Golgotha and there learned that there must be forgiveness for even the chief of sinners, are called to forgive one another even as Christ forgave us. This forgiveness is to be continuous, not a single act only, but a daily grace. Yet to forgive as Christ forgave does not always require a return to close fellowship, especially when such nearness exposes the soul to repeated wounding and hinders peace. To forgive from the heart and to love with kindness at a distance are not contrary, and there are seasons when wisdom and protection require that love take the form of prayerful distance rather than constant nearness.

We will pray with you that the Lord will grant you a settled peace in maintaining a godly, kind distance from these unsaved members of your family, that He will guard your mind and heart from distress, that He will keep you from bitterness while keeping you also from harm, and that He will use even your past efforts to reach out according to His own purpose, though you may not now see it. We will ask Him to keep your conscience tender toward forgiveness, yet firm in godly boundaries, and to give you grace to show kindness when occasion arises, to speak a word for Christ when the door is open, and to commit them continually to Him who alone can save. For there is no other name under heaven by which they must be saved, but Jesus Christ, and our hope for them must be that they too may find that forgiveness which is to be found only with God through Him.

Let us pray together. O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, we thank Thee that Thou hast forgiven us freely without money and without price through the blood of Thy Son. We bless Thee for that complete and everlasting pardon which Thou hast bestowed upon all who trust in Christ. We bring before Thee this tried soul who has sought to obey Thee in forgiving and in seeking reconciliation, and who now feels the weight and wound of that path. Grant wisdom to discern Thy leading, and peace in following it. If it be Thy will, allow a kind and godly distance to remain, and let it be kept not in coldness but in love, not in resentment but in prayer. Guard this heart and mind, heal what has been distressed, and keep this one from returning to what would cause further harm. Have mercy upon the family yet unsaved, and bring them to know Thy Son as Saviour. Let Thy will be done in all these relationships, and let Thy grace be sufficient for each day. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly. The weight and stress of what you have been carrying comes through clearly, and your desire to obey Christ in the matter of forgiveness even when it has cost you emotionally is evidence of His work in you.

Scripture teaches that we have been forgiven a far greater debt than any we are asked to forgive, and part of that gift is that God trains us to have a gentle and human soul. Forgiveness does not require a long journey or great labors, only a willing choice before God to release the debt and not bear malice. That choice is how we remain grateful for the mercy we have received, and it brings a great reward, to be called to account for none of our own offenses. You have sought to do this, and reaching out as you did was part of that obedience. God can use even an attempt that does not lead to restored closeness for His purpose, to show you your own heart, to extend grace, and to make clear what is wise going forward.

Forgiveness and restored closeness are not the same thing. You can fully forgive in Christ while also recognizing that continued closeness with unsaved family who bring mental and emotional distress may not be wise or safe, and that God Himself may be leading you to a different posture. A godly, kind distance is not unforgiveness. It can be the most loving and truthful way to honor both the command to be gentle and merciful and the need to guard your heart and walk in wisdom.

I will pray with you as you have asked.

Father, I thank You for this child of Yours and for the work You have already done in softening this heart toward forgiveness. You know the effort made to reconcile and the pain that has followed. I ask that You grant clear wisdom and peace about remaining at a kind and respectful distance from these family members, without guilt or pressure to pursue a closeness that would be harmful. Protect this heart and mind from distress, establish healthy boundaries, and teach continued gentleness without bitterness. Help to keep forgiving as You have forgiven, remembering the great mercy received through Jesus Christ alone, and to rest in gratitude for Your forgiveness. I also ask for Your mercy on these unsaved family members, that You would draw them to Yourself and bring them to salvation through Christ, and that any future interaction would be marked by kindness, truth, and self control. Give lasting peace and assurance that to forgive and to keep a godly distance can both be obedience to You. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about this painful and exhausting process. The desire to obey Christ, to deal with unforgiveness, and to reach out in love is itself evidence of His work in your heart, and He sees both the effort you have made and the distress it has brought.

Scripture makes a distinction that is very important for what you are describing. There is a sorrow that is of the world, which simply feels bad and leaves a person stuck and even harmed, and there is a sorrow that is from God, which produces repentance and a real change. Godly sorrow leads to salvation and to a changed life, not to be regretted. It brings a carefulness, a clearing, a desire to do what is right before God. Worldly sorrow only works death. What you describe as Christ working on you regarding unforgiveness, and your willingness to take steps toward reconciliation, reflects that godly kind of sorrow. It has produced repentance in you, a willingness to forgive as you have been forgiven in Christ, to release bitterness and to seek peace where you could. That change in you is not wasted, even if the outcome with others was not what you hoped.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. God commands us to forgive from the heart, as Christ forgave us, and to put away bitterness. Reconciliation, however, requires more than one person's repentance. It requires truth, safety, and a changed walk on both sides. The Bible says, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. That implies there are times when peace, because of the response or condition of others, cannot mean closeness. A kind distance can be the most peaceful and godly option.

You also share that those you reached out to are unsaved family members. That matters. When we follow Jesus we enter a family bond that is deeper than even blood ties, a bond created by our common life in Him. Our deepest identity and fellowship is in the family of God. That does not remove love for earthly family, but it does help us understand why closeness with those who do not know Christ, and who may not walk in repentance, can at times bring repeated hurt rather than healing. Love can remain, prayer can remain, kindness can remain, without requiring you to remain in a position where you are continually exposed to mental and emotional harm.

God is sovereign over families and circumstances. He placed Esther in a particular family and in a particular place, and Mordecai reminded her that God had brought her to the kingdom for such a time as this. God sent Joseph ahead into Egypt so that Jacob and his family would be sustained through famine. None of those circumstances were coincidences. God weaves His purposes even through difficult family histories. Your obedience in reaching out was not without purpose. God used it to do a work in you, to expose and heal unforgiveness, to show you His leading more clearly, and to be a witness of His grace, even if that witness now takes the form of prayer from a distance rather than close daily fellowship. The fact that you sense Him leading you away from closeness as you have reached out is worth honoring. The Lord is able to protect and to guide, and He does not ask you to sacrifice your stewardship of your own heart and mind in order to prove your forgiveness.

It is right and wise to seek protection while still walking in love. Remaining at a godly, kind distance is not unkind and it is not unforgiveness. It can be a way to love without enabling further harm, to keep the door open for kindness and prayer while establishing clear boundaries. You can forgive, you can bless, you can pray for their salvation, you can be courteous and gracious when contact happens, and at the same time you can choose not to pursue a close relationship that has proven to be destructive.

I will join you in prayer that the Lord would give you clear peace about this, that He would confirm whether He is calling you to this kind distance permanently, and that He would guard your heart from both bitterness and unnecessary distress. May He heal what has been wounded in this process, keep you in His peace, and continue to complete the good work of repentance and forgiveness He has begun in you. May He also have mercy on your family members and draw them to salvation in Jesus Christ, and may He give you wisdom to know how to love them best from where He has placed you, whether that is through a brief kind word, a prayer, or simply entrusting them to His care.

You have not failed by stepping back. You have obeyed in reaching out, you have let God change your heart, and now you are asking for wisdom to walk in love with boundaries. That is a mature and biblical desire, and the Lord who sees in secret will honor it.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer concerning the reconciliation of these estranged relationships and your journey with unforgiveness.

We have been praying for you and we continue to lift you up. We thank God for the work Christ has been doing in your heart over this past year and for your obedience in reaching out even when it has been very difficult. We understand how stressful this process has been and the mental and emotional distress it has caused as you have tried to reconcile with unsaved family, only to sense that God may be leading you away from closeness with them.

We have been praying that the Lord will grant you clear wisdom and peace about remaining at a godly and kind distance from these family members for your protection, and that He will release you from any pressure to pursue a closer relationship than is healthy or wise. We pray that He will establish good boundaries for you with grace and truth, and that He will guard your heart and mind. We are reminded of Rom 12:18 which speaks of living at peace with everyone as far as it depends on us, and we pray that you will experience that peace even while keeping a distance.

We do believe God had a purpose in leading you to reach out, even if that purpose was to help you find freedom from unforgiveness and to show Christlike love while also showing you that closeness is not always His will for every relationship. We pray in Jesus Name that He will heal any hurt from this process, confirm His direction for you, and give you rest from the striving.

If your request was answered and God has given you peace and confirmation about this godly distance, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered yet and you are still wrestling with this burden, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ.