Reconciliation

[Dhitlor]

I have been trying to reconcile some estranged relationships with great difficulty (for certain reasons). I am noticing that the more I try to fix these relationships, at the same time, God seems to be pulling me more toward the body of Christ as my family and toward my Christian brothers and sisters. And in other ways, it seems God does not really want me to have close relationships with these people I'm trying to reconcile with. It is clear God wanted me to reach out to these people, but for what purpose, I don't know. Please pray for me about all this. As I said, this has been a very difficult process and I really wouldn't have done it if God had not led me to. For various reasons, I don't like interacting with these people. Thank you.

 

[Articles]

We hear the weight of what you are carrying and we join with you in seeking the Lord's wisdom in this very difficult process. What you are describing is something many believers experience, a tension between the desire to obey God in reaching out to estranged people and the clear leading of the Holy Spirit drawing you deeper into fellowship with the body of Christ.

We want to encourage you that God drawing you toward your Christian brothers and sisters as family is thoroughly biblical. Jesus Himself said, Who is my mother and who is my brothers? He stretched out his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold, my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother Matthew 12:48-50. The family of God is not just a metaphor, it is our eternal family, and it is right that you feel that pull. How good and how pleasant it is for brothers to live together in unity Psalm 133:1.

At the same time, your obedience in reaching out to those estranged from you honors God, even when it is painful and even when you do not enjoy interacting with them. Scripture calls us to pursue peace and reconciliation as far as it depends on us. If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. And we are commanded to forgive as God in Christ forgave us Ephesians 4:32, and to bear with one another and forgive any complaint we have against another Colossians 3:13. Reaching out may have been for the purpose of obedience, of releasing forgiveness, of planting a seed of the gospel, or of giving the other person an opportunity to respond, even if they do not.

We also discern what you have sensed, that reconciliation does not always mean restoration to close fellowship. There is a difference between forgiveness and trust, and between being at peace and being intimately close. We are told to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace Ephesians 4:3, but we are also warned not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. If these estranged relationships involve people who are unrepentant, who live in ways contrary to God's Word, or who would pull you away from Christ and His body, then God may indeed be protecting you by not allowing those relationships to become close again. Loving them and forgiving them does not require you to make them your inner circle.

We notice your request speaks of God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we gently want to remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and can be assured our prayers are heard. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to bring all of this directly to God in the name of Jesus, trusting in His finished work on the cross for your own forgiveness and reconciliation with God first, which then enables you to forgive others.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You on behalf of our dear sibling who is weary from trying to reconcile these difficult relationships. Lord, we thank You that You have led them to obey You in reaching out even when it was hard and even when they did not want to. Grant them Your wisdom that is pure and peaceable, to know what was Your purpose in that obedience and what You want now. Show them clearly where to set healthy and biblical boundaries, and where to invest deeply. We ask that You continue to draw them into the sweet fellowship of the body of Christ, where they can be encouraged, sharpened, and loved as family. Heal any wounds of rejection, bitterness, or exhaustion, and help them to trust in You with all their heart, and not lean on their own understanding, acknowledging You in all their ways so that You will direct their paths Proverbs 3:5-6. Give them peace to know that they have done what was up to them, and release them from any false guilt for what others choose to do. Keep them close to Jesus and let Your will be done in each of these relationships. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to stay rooted in fellowship with faithful believers, to continue in prayer and in the Word, and to let God define the purpose and the limits of these reconciliations. He is faithful to guide you step by step and He will not ask you to walk in close fellowship that would compromise your walk with Him.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy and confusing this has been for you, and we admire your willingness to obey even when you would have rather not reached out at all. Trying to reconcile when you don't enjoy the interaction takes real courage, and it makes sense you are left wondering what God was actually asking of you.

One thing that has helped others in this kind of tension is recognizing that obedience to reach out is not always the same as rebuilding closeness. Sometimes we can release a debt and wish someone well before God, and still find that a close, trusting relationship is not possible or wise, especially when trust has not been restored on both sides. The pull you feel toward your brothers and sisters in Christ may be part of God's provision for you right now - a family where mutual love and trust can grow more freely - even as you have been faithful to extend a hand where you felt led.

It might help to take a little time to sort this with someone who knows you well. You could write down simply what you sensed God prompted you to do, and separately what you hoped would happen as a result, and then talk that through with a pastor or a mature believer you trust. That conversation can help you see where to keep a boundary and where to keep investing in the fellowship God is opening to you.

Father, we lift our friend to You in Jesus' name. Give clear wisdom for each of these relationships, peace in having obeyed, and strength as You draw them into deeper family in the body of Christ. Lead them step by step and guard their heart. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest and painful account has been laid before the Lord with thanksgiving that you sought to obey Him even when the way was distasteful to you. It is no small grace to reach out to those with whom fellowship is difficult, when the flesh would rather turn away, and to do so because you believed God led you to it.

There is wisdom in what you have discerned. He is the God of Peace and He has, on His part, prepared everything that is necessary for a perfect reconciliation. That reconciliation is first and chiefly with Himself, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto Himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them. All things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ. Until a soul knows that peace with God through the blood of His Son, no other reconciliation can stand upon a sure foundation. We speak of this because we can speak from experience, for we have felt the joy which this reconciliation brings, and He has committed unto us the word of reconciliation, that we should translate into our daily life what God Himself has written in this Book.

You ask for what purpose you were led to reach out, and why the Lord at the same time seems to be drawing you more toward His Church as your family. Understand then that the Church of Christ meeting together is within itself a family, whole and entire, needing nothing from without to make it complete. The Lord in His providence often teaches His children that their truest kinship is not of blood alone but of the Spirit, and those who have been quickened and brought into the family of God have this never failing mark, that they are led by the Holy Spirit. If you feel that leading toward your Christian brothers and sisters, do not despise it. It is the Spirit Himself honoring His dwelling in the Church and guiding you into that fellowship where prayer is better attended, where the Word is steadfastly kept, and where souls are cared for as a family.

To be given the ministry of reconciliation does not always mean to restore a former closeness on the same terms as before. Sometimes the word of reconciliation is to be faithfully delivered, forgiveness to be freely offered as Christ has forgiven us, and then to leave the increase with God. We are not sent to find out a way of our own devising, but to be faithful with the word He has committed to us, and to work at once by the power of the Holy Spirit as He gives opportunity. If close fellowship with those persons would draw you from obedience, from purity, or from the household of faith, then love may require distance as well as mercy. The Lord who taught you to go may also teach you to remain planted among His people.

We will pray for you that the Lord will give you clear sight. We ask our gracious Father that He would confirm to you the peace you have with Him through Jesus Christ, that He would make plain the purpose of your obedience in reaching out, whether it was to sow a seed, to offer forgiveness, or to bear witness to the Gospel, and that He would guard you from taking upon yourself a burden He has not laid upon you. We ask that He would deepen your joy in the family of God, knit you more firmly to that holy fellowship, and cause you to be led daily by His Spirit. May He give you wisdom to love all men, to forgive as you have been forgiven, and yet to walk in holiness with those He has given you as kindred in Christ, until He makes all His purposes plain in His own time.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your sharing of this difficult process has been heard with care, and I want to stand with you in prayer as you seek wisdom.

What you describe touches the deepest meaning of reconciliation. We were altogether enemies to God, condemned and estranged from Him, and no one could offer sacrifice for us. In His compassion He did not appoint another, but Himself became our High Priest and Mediator between the Father and us. The Father was displeased with us as being estranged, and the Son prevailed with Him to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. That is the good news, that the long war has been brought to an end and reconciliation has been made between God and our nature, bringing us remission of sins, adoption, an inheritance of heaven, and a relationship unto the Son of God.

Because that reconciliation with God comes first, it helps us understand reconciliation with people. Scripture shows that God can bring great change even for those who were hard hearted and estranged, and yet not every act of reaching out means God intends a restored close fellowship. Sometimes obedience in reaching out is itself the purpose, to show love, to speak truth, to offer forgiveness, or to plant the word of godliness, even when continued closeness would not be wise or healthy.

It is significant that you sense God pulling you more toward the body of Christ as your family. That is a work of God. The Church is like a small household, with its own order and care, and our deepest friendships ought to be formed upon godliness with the children of the church. Angels and men now have fellowship together, and the life of heaven is planted on earth in the communion of believers. To be drawn to your Christian brothers and sisters is to be drawn to the family God has given you in Christ.

I will pray for you in this way. I pray that God will give you clarity about the purpose for which He led you to reach out, and wisdom to know what boundaries to keep. I pray that He will guard your heart from weariness, since you have been faithful in a hard obedience even when you did not like the interaction. I pray that He will deepen your place in His household, the church, and give you friendships rooted in shared faith and love for Christ. And I pray that any reconciliation with others would be shaped by your reconciliation with God, so that you walk in holiness, truth, and peace, seeking what honors Him above all.

May the Lord who had compassion on us when we were far off continue to guide you, strengthen you, and establish you in His love and in the fellowship of His people.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly. What you are describing is painful and confusing, and it is understandable that you would feel torn.

The sense that God is drawing you more deeply into the family of believers is not a distraction from His will. Jesus Himself taught that those who do the will of the Father are His family, and Scripture teaches that God has given us the body of Christ as a true family. The apostle Paul explains that when a person is desolate and without family support, the church is to be the family that cares for them, while those who do have family are to care for their own. In that picture you can see God's heart. He places His people in a spiritual family where they are known, supported, and built up in the faith. If you are feeling that pull toward your brothers and sisters in Christ, receive it as a good and biblical work of the Lord to establish you and give you a place of belonging.

At the same time, God can lead you to reach out to estranged people without meaning that you are to resume a close, intimate relationship with them. Obedience and restoration of closeness are not always the same thing. Scripture shows that God often moves a person to act in obedience for purposes that are not immediately clear. He sent Joseph ahead into Egypt long before his family needed to be preserved through famine. He positioned Esther in a place of influence for a purpose that only became clear later. In both cases the immediate step of obedience did not look like success, but it was part of a larger plan that God was working out.

There are seasons when faithful effort seems to bear very little visible fruit, and it is easy in those seasons to feel as though God has rejected your labor. Yet God often uses the simple act of obedience, even when the number of responses is small and the work feels hard, to plant seeds, to free your own conscience, to bear witness, or to prepare something for the future that you cannot yet see. The fact that you would not have reached out on your own but did so because you sensed the Lord leading you is significant. That obedience matters to God even if the other persons do not respond as you hoped. You have done what He asked, and you can leave the results with Him.

There is also a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and the rebuilding of close fellowship. God calls us to forgive, to love, to be peacemakers, and to be willing to reach out. He does not call us to force closeness where it would be unhealthy or where there is no shared life in Christ. It is possible to obey His leading to make contact, to speak the truth in love, and to release bitterness, while still recognizing that He may not intend for those relationships to become your close community. Your primary fellowship and accountability is meant to be found among those who share your faith and encourage you to walk with Jesus.

I will pray for you. I will ask the Lord to give you wisdom to discern the purpose in each step of obedience, to give you grace to forgive fully and to release these relationships into His hands, to protect your heart from discouragement, and to confirm you more and more in the love and support of your spiritual family. May He show you clearly how far to go in each relationship, give you peace where close fellowship is not to be restored, and give you joy as you grow in the household of faith where He has placed you.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer concerning the difficult work of reconciliation with estranged relationships. We have continued to lift you up before the Lord these past days. We have prayed for your struggle as you have tried to obey what you felt God was leading you to do in reaching out even though for certain reasons you do not enjoy interacting with these people and even though the process has been very difficult. We have also prayed about the tension you described where the more you try to fix these relationships the more you sense God pulling you toward the body of Christ as your true family and toward deeper fellowship with your Christian brothers and sisters and where it seems God may not want you to have close relationships with those you are trying to reconcile with. We have asked God to give you clear wisdom and discernment to understand His purpose in having you reach out and to show you what healthy boundaries and what kind of relationship if any He desires for you to have with these individuals going forward. We pray that He will give you peace that passes understanding and confirm His leading and guard your heart from discouragement and confusion. We stand on the truth of Romans 12:18 and Matthew 5:9 and Mark 3:35 which remind us of our call to pursue peace as far as it depends on us and of our identity as family in Christ. We continue to trust that God will use even this painful obedience for good and for His glory.

We pray in Jesus Name that the Lord will guide your steps, grant you clarity, heal what needs healing and draw you ever closer to Himself and to the fellowship of believers He has placed around you. Amen.

If your request was answered please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son Jesus Christ.