I posted a prayer request recently for prayer about trying again with reconciling some estranged relationships after I almost gave up trying to reconcile them due to difficulties. The problem is that I really don't "feel" like trying again and reaching out to these people for certain reasons. I know obedience to God isn't dependent on how I feel. Please pray for me about this. Thank you.
Reconciliation
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We join you in bringing this before the Lord and we commend your understanding that obedience to God is not dependent on how we feel, that is a mature and biblical insight and we want to encourage you in it.
We know how heavy it can be to carry estranged relationships and to feel weary from trying to reconcile, especially when past difficulties have left hurt or disappointment. Your feelings of not wanting to reach out again are understandable, but we agree that our feelings are not to be our master. We are called to trust in Yahweh with all our heart, and not lean on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge him, and he will make our paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. It is God who works in you both to will and to work, for his good pleasure Philippians 2:13, so even the desire and the strength to obey when you do not feel like it must come from Him.
Scripture shows us that forgiveness is commanded of us, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do Colossians 3:13 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:32. Reconciliation, however, also involves the other person and requires wisdom. We are told if it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. That means we are responsible to pursue peace and to make the biblical effort, but we cannot control the response of others. God, who reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation 2 Corinthians 5:18, deeply cares about reconciliation, yet He also calls us to walk in wisdom and guard our hearts.
We also notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is by placing our faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection for our sins, that our prayers are heard and our obedience is empowered by the Holy Spirit. If you have not already, we encourage you to come to God through Jesus alone.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up this dear one to You. You see the weariness and the reluctance to reach out again, You see the past hurts and the difficulties that made reconciliation so hard. We ask that You would give renewed strength and a willing spirit, that You would align this heart with Your will even when feelings are absent. Let Your grace be sufficient, for Your power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9. Grant wisdom to know how and when to reach out, what words to speak, and what boundaries are godly and necessary. Guard this heart from bitterness and from striving in the flesh, and let all that is done be done in love and truth. Help to not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Galatians 6:9. If reconciliation is possible and honors You, we pray You would soften hearts on both sides and make a way for peace, and if not, we pray You would grant peace that passes understanding and the assurance that obedience to You was fulfilled. We ask this in the name of Jesus, amen.
We encourage you to continue to seek the Lord in prayer before you act, to search the Scriptures, and to seek wise godly counsel as you consider reaching out. Take each step as the Lord leads, with gentleness and humility, committing the outcome to Him. He will be faithful to guide you and to give you the strength to obey, and He will honor your willingness to follow Him even when it is difficult.
We know how heavy it can be to carry estranged relationships and to feel weary from trying to reconcile, especially when past difficulties have left hurt or disappointment. Your feelings of not wanting to reach out again are understandable, but we agree that our feelings are not to be our master. We are called to trust in Yahweh with all our heart, and not lean on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge him, and he will make our paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. It is God who works in you both to will and to work, for his good pleasure Philippians 2:13, so even the desire and the strength to obey when you do not feel like it must come from Him.
Scripture shows us that forgiveness is commanded of us, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any, even as Christ forgave you, so you also do Colossians 3:13 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:32. Reconciliation, however, also involves the other person and requires wisdom. We are told if it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. That means we are responsible to pursue peace and to make the biblical effort, but we cannot control the response of others. God, who reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation 2 Corinthians 5:18, deeply cares about reconciliation, yet He also calls us to walk in wisdom and guard our hearts.
We also notice your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is by placing our faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection for our sins, that our prayers are heard and our obedience is empowered by the Holy Spirit. If you have not already, we encourage you to come to God through Jesus alone.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift up this dear one to You. You see the weariness and the reluctance to reach out again, You see the past hurts and the difficulties that made reconciliation so hard. We ask that You would give renewed strength and a willing spirit, that You would align this heart with Your will even when feelings are absent. Let Your grace be sufficient, for Your power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9. Grant wisdom to know how and when to reach out, what words to speak, and what boundaries are godly and necessary. Guard this heart from bitterness and from striving in the flesh, and let all that is done be done in love and truth. Help to not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up Galatians 6:9. If reconciliation is possible and honors You, we pray You would soften hearts on both sides and make a way for peace, and if not, we pray You would grant peace that passes understanding and the assurance that obedience to You was fulfilled. We ask this in the name of Jesus, amen.
We encourage you to continue to seek the Lord in prayer before you act, to search the Scriptures, and to seek wise godly counsel as you consider reaching out. Take each step as the Lord leads, with gentleness and humility, committing the outcome to Him. He will be faithful to guide you and to give you the strength to obey, and He will honor your willingness to follow Him even when it is difficult.
Thank you for coming back and sharing this so honestly. We hear the tension you are carrying, wanting to be obedient and at the same time feeling worn out and reluctant to reach out again after so much difficulty. That honesty before God matters.
It makes sense that you do not feel like trying again. When reconciliation has been hard and you have almost given up before, the heart can feel protective and tired. Wanting to obey even while your feelings have not caught up is not failure, it is a real place many of us walk through. Feelings often shift more slowly than our willingness.
Reconciliation, when God brings it about, involves both people being willing to rebuild trust over time, so you can only be responsible for your part with wisdom and grace, not for how others respond.
One gentle next step that may help is to pause before you reach out and bring those specific reasons you hesitate to the Lord in prayer, and share them with one trusted pastor or mature believer who knows you. Talking it through can help you sort what is wisdom, what is hurt that still needs care, and what a healthy, small next outreach could look like without carrying the whole weight at once.
Father, we bring our friend to You. You see the weariness and the desire to follow You. Give clarity, steady courage and wisdom for each relationship and each next step. Guard their heart in Your peace and lead in the way You know is best. In Jesus name, amen.
It makes sense that you do not feel like trying again. When reconciliation has been hard and you have almost given up before, the heart can feel protective and tired. Wanting to obey even while your feelings have not caught up is not failure, it is a real place many of us walk through. Feelings often shift more slowly than our willingness.
Reconciliation, when God brings it about, involves both people being willing to rebuild trust over time, so you can only be responsible for your part with wisdom and grace, not for how others respond.
One gentle next step that may help is to pause before you reach out and bring those specific reasons you hesitate to the Lord in prayer, and share them with one trusted pastor or mature believer who knows you. Talking it through can help you sort what is wisdom, what is hurt that still needs care, and what a healthy, small next outreach could look like without carrying the whole weight at once.
Father, we bring our friend to You. You see the weariness and the desire to follow You. Give clarity, steady courage and wisdom for each relationship and each next step. Guard their heart in Your peace and lead in the way You know is best. In Jesus name, amen.
jcjcpurple
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
There is a true grace in what you have written, for you discern rightly that obedience to God is not measured by our feelings. You almost gave up under difficulties, and now you feel no desire to try again, yet you know the call remains. That knowledge itself is a work of God in the heart, bowing itself reverently before Him and asking, What would You have me to do.
Scripture tells Joshua, Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law. Obedience is the highest practical courage. To persist in scrupulous obedience throughout life may need more courage than the martyr shows in one great hour, and to turn not to the right hand or to the left requires a steady, exact following of the Lord. The world says we must not be too precise, but the very essence of obedience lies in exactness. It is not a general willingness to obey, but a careful, thoughtful desire to do all that the Master commands.
You speak truly that feelings are an uncertain guide. The obedience of faith is not the obedience of a slave who is tuned to the crack of the whip, nor is it rendered only when the heart feels warm. It is the obedience of a child, the obedience of love. His commandments are not grievous, and when they are kept from love, they yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness. We do not wait until we feel able or willing in ourselves, for we need divine life perpetually to bear us forward to acts of obedience. He who calls you to reconcile, to pursue peace as far as it depends on you, will also give the strength to do it.
Remember also that the way of obedience is a middle path and it is a rewarded path. Those women who ran to bring the disciples word in obedience found, as they went, that Jesus met them. In the way of obedience they were rewarded with His presence, and refreshed and made calm and happy in the Lord for the work still before them. So it will be with you. If you go in simple faith, seeking to know the Lord's will and to do it carefully, you will find Him meeting you in that very way.
I will pray for you as you have asked.
Our Father, we thank You for this honest heart that desires to obey You even when feeling is absent. Grant courage to be strong and very courageous in doing what You command. Take away the dread and give the cheerful obedience of a child who loves his Father. Give wisdom to know how to reach out, with humility and love, and to speak and act as Christ would have it. Where reconciliation is possible according to Your will, make a way, and where hearts remain hard, keep this Your servant faithful and at peace, having done what is pleasing in Your sight. Meet Your servant in the way of obedience and refresh the soul with Your presence, for Jesus sake. Amen.
Scripture tells Joshua, Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law. Obedience is the highest practical courage. To persist in scrupulous obedience throughout life may need more courage than the martyr shows in one great hour, and to turn not to the right hand or to the left requires a steady, exact following of the Lord. The world says we must not be too precise, but the very essence of obedience lies in exactness. It is not a general willingness to obey, but a careful, thoughtful desire to do all that the Master commands.
You speak truly that feelings are an uncertain guide. The obedience of faith is not the obedience of a slave who is tuned to the crack of the whip, nor is it rendered only when the heart feels warm. It is the obedience of a child, the obedience of love. His commandments are not grievous, and when they are kept from love, they yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness. We do not wait until we feel able or willing in ourselves, for we need divine life perpetually to bear us forward to acts of obedience. He who calls you to reconcile, to pursue peace as far as it depends on you, will also give the strength to do it.
Remember also that the way of obedience is a middle path and it is a rewarded path. Those women who ran to bring the disciples word in obedience found, as they went, that Jesus met them. In the way of obedience they were rewarded with His presence, and refreshed and made calm and happy in the Lord for the work still before them. So it will be with you. If you go in simple faith, seeking to know the Lord's will and to do it carefully, you will find Him meeting you in that very way.
I will pray for you as you have asked.
Our Father, we thank You for this honest heart that desires to obey You even when feeling is absent. Grant courage to be strong and very courageous in doing what You command. Take away the dread and give the cheerful obedience of a child who loves his Father. Give wisdom to know how to reach out, with humility and love, and to speak and act as Christ would have it. Where reconciliation is possible according to Your will, make a way, and where hearts remain hard, keep this Your servant faithful and at peace, having done what is pleasing in Your sight. Meet Your servant in the way of obedience and refresh the soul with Your presence, for Jesus sake. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this so honestly and for your desire to obey God even when your feelings do not line up. What you described is a very real struggle, and it is good that you recognize that obedience is not measured by our emotions but by our willingness to follow what God has shown us is right.
It is understandable that you do not feel like reaching out again. Reconciliation is often difficult and tiring, especially when there has been distance and hurt, and when past attempts have been hard. God sees that weariness and He also sees your willingness to try again even while you feel this way.
I will pray for you, that the Lord will give you strength and grace to take the next steps in obedience, not out of mere feeling but out of love for Him. I pray that He will give you wisdom to know how and when to reach out, humility and gentleness as you speak, and a heart that is free from bitterness or pride. I pray also for those from whom you are estranged, that God would soften hearts on both sides, open doors for honest and peaceful conversation, and guard you from discouragement if the response is not immediate.
Scripture reminds us that love often requires us to put aside what is comfortable and to serve others even at cost to ourselves, and that God honors obedience offered with reverence and trust in Him. As you choose to obey, He is able to work in you to renew your strength and even to change your feelings over time, and to use your faithfulness for good.
Ask the Lord to help you loose yourself from the desire for ease and to receive His help as you walk forward as a free servant of Christ. Continue to seek Him in prayer, stay rooted in His Word, and take one faithful step at a time.
May the Lord, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ alone, give you peace, perseverance, and hope as you seek reconciliation where it is possible, and may He be glorified in your obedience.
It is understandable that you do not feel like reaching out again. Reconciliation is often difficult and tiring, especially when there has been distance and hurt, and when past attempts have been hard. God sees that weariness and He also sees your willingness to try again even while you feel this way.
I will pray for you, that the Lord will give you strength and grace to take the next steps in obedience, not out of mere feeling but out of love for Him. I pray that He will give you wisdom to know how and when to reach out, humility and gentleness as you speak, and a heart that is free from bitterness or pride. I pray also for those from whom you are estranged, that God would soften hearts on both sides, open doors for honest and peaceful conversation, and guard you from discouragement if the response is not immediate.
Scripture reminds us that love often requires us to put aside what is comfortable and to serve others even at cost to ourselves, and that God honors obedience offered with reverence and trust in Him. As you choose to obey, He is able to work in you to renew your strength and even to change your feelings over time, and to use your faithfulness for good.
Ask the Lord to help you loose yourself from the desire for ease and to receive His help as you walk forward as a free servant of Christ. Continue to seek Him in prayer, stay rooted in His Word, and take one faithful step at a time.
May the Lord, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ alone, give you peace, perseverance, and hope as you seek reconciliation where it is possible, and may He be glorified in your obedience.
Featured Teaching
Click the play button below to watch the featured teaching.
I Know That My Redeemer Liveth
Whatever you are carrying today, this message from Charles Spurgeon is for you.
