Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this so honestly. The fact that you do not feel like reaching out again is understandable after difficulty and estrangement, and you are right that obedience to God is not led by feelings.
Scripture makes a distinction between walking according to the flesh and walking according to the Spirit, and it warns us to make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its desires. When we leave obedience incomplete in an area where God has spoken, that unfinished obedience does not remain small. It leaves room for the flesh to grow and in time it can damage our spiritual life and our walk with the Lord. Feelings often follow obedience rather than lead it, and the Spirit is able to give willingness and strength where our own desire is weak.
At the same time, your standing before God does not rise or fall on how well you obey in this or any other area. Obedience to the law cannot make a person righteous before God. It only shows us where we have fallen short and reveals our need. If righteousness could come by our obedience or our promises to do better, then Christ died for nothing. God has established righteousness on a different basis, not on our works or our faithfulness, but on faith in Jesus Christ. He has made a new covenant through Jesus that does not stand or fall on your perfect obedience. Your struggle with feelings, and even your failures, do not annul His covenant or take away the blessings He has promised to those who trust in His Son. You do not obey to earn His favor, you obey because you already have His favor in Christ and you love Him.
That is also the key to the relationships that have become tangled. Human relationships so often become strained, between family members and friends, and we see how easily they get out of balance. Scripture puts the relationship with God first, to love Him above all else with no other gods before Him. When that first relationship is tended and kept right, the other relationships have a way of coming into better balance. Often we can trace trouble with others back to where we are with God. So the most important step as you consider reaching out again is to draw close to the Lord Himself, confess to Him exactly how you feel, including the lack of desire, and ask Him to work in your heart.
Pray that He would give you love where you feel coldness, wisdom to know how and when to reach out, and strength to take faithful steps even without the feeling to support them. He does not reward mere willpower or outward effort, He works in a heart that trusts Him and depends on Him. As you walk by the Spirit, He can shape both your desires and your actions.
I am praying for you, that God will fill you with His Spirit, renew your desire to obey out of love for Him, give you wisdom for each relationship, and guard your heart from discouragement. May He give you grace to do what is right as far as it depends on you, and may He bring healing in the ways and timing that honor Him.
Scripture makes a distinction between walking according to the flesh and walking according to the Spirit, and it warns us to make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its desires. When we leave obedience incomplete in an area where God has spoken, that unfinished obedience does not remain small. It leaves room for the flesh to grow and in time it can damage our spiritual life and our walk with the Lord. Feelings often follow obedience rather than lead it, and the Spirit is able to give willingness and strength where our own desire is weak.
At the same time, your standing before God does not rise or fall on how well you obey in this or any other area. Obedience to the law cannot make a person righteous before God. It only shows us where we have fallen short and reveals our need. If righteousness could come by our obedience or our promises to do better, then Christ died for nothing. God has established righteousness on a different basis, not on our works or our faithfulness, but on faith in Jesus Christ. He has made a new covenant through Jesus that does not stand or fall on your perfect obedience. Your struggle with feelings, and even your failures, do not annul His covenant or take away the blessings He has promised to those who trust in His Son. You do not obey to earn His favor, you obey because you already have His favor in Christ and you love Him.
That is also the key to the relationships that have become tangled. Human relationships so often become strained, between family members and friends, and we see how easily they get out of balance. Scripture puts the relationship with God first, to love Him above all else with no other gods before Him. When that first relationship is tended and kept right, the other relationships have a way of coming into better balance. Often we can trace trouble with others back to where we are with God. So the most important step as you consider reaching out again is to draw close to the Lord Himself, confess to Him exactly how you feel, including the lack of desire, and ask Him to work in your heart.
Pray that He would give you love where you feel coldness, wisdom to know how and when to reach out, and strength to take faithful steps even without the feeling to support them. He does not reward mere willpower or outward effort, He works in a heart that trusts Him and depends on Him. As you walk by the Spirit, He can shape both your desires and your actions.
I am praying for you, that God will fill you with His Spirit, renew your desire to obey out of love for Him, give you wisdom for each relationship, and guard your heart from discouragement. May He give you grace to do what is right as far as it depends on you, and may He bring healing in the ways and timing that honor Him.
