luiza, God bless you. God loves us very much that even what lies down within us that does not belong there, He stirs it up and brings it to the surface, even our doubt. Things that satan will use to destroy us. Listen to His words to You "there is no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus to them that walks in the Spirit" yes in the Spirit of God. Just like one of Solomon's wife or Cucubine or even us self-esteem are at a low place (perhaps because of a situation, example rejected by a husband, boyfriend, loss of job or home, fail an exam, discrimination because one is black, Arabic, Asian, fat, pimples, loss of tooth, skinny, and for many reasons) as a result we tend to criticize ourselves.
Many times even on this site, we read prayer request of someone calling themselves hopeless, failure, etc. So we look at the exterior, our physical appearances, and criticize ourselves. Take me for example, I am receiving chemo, physical side effects, pimples and spots are on my face, yet one of my friends says "gee your complexion and skin is so smooth" I tell her no it is not I have makeup to cover the dark spots on my face, and there are pimples too. Look at the palm of my hands there are dark spots. This sounds just like the Shulammite woman who Solomon was consoling. Do you remember the story of religious man and sinner, one said, I pay my offering and I do this and that etc, the other said I am a poor sinner etc.
Now luiza, I was admiring you before all this, and I still do, because we are the body of Christ and we must build up and edify each other, no one part of the body is important than the other, and Christ is the head of the body. Now satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. That is satan's job. he is a racist, satan hates mankind, he is anti-man, man hater. What is happening here, he is attacking your faith young lady. he is using the very word of God to do so. he wants to steal the word of God from you.
Read Luke 8:11 about the farmer planting seeds, some fell on travel path, rocky places, thorny places, and good soil. when I was a young Christian and I would sin out of ignorance, I cry and asked God if His words fell on rocky places and asked Him to take the rocks from my heart, I would also ask Him if His words is on good soil and so on. Again I was like the Shulammite woman. You must study the historical facts, culture, tradition of the Songs of Songs. This book can be interpreted, allegorical, literal, and typical. I believe God wants you to have a clear understanding of His words. Now God is not the author of confusion, satan is. Your faith is now being tested. Will you overcome or let the evil one destroy your faith.
When I first read some of answers to prayer request, I realized that you have a calling in your life regarding teaching or preaching the word of God. satan is making all attempts to hinder that calling in your life. I love you. Keeping on answering the prayer request. satan wants you to stop by using the spirit of doubt, discouragement, even shame. get the word the sword out luiza. come on you are part of the body.
