Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your prayer is not the complaint of a jealous mother; it is a cry against counsel that opposes the doctrine of Christ. What this woman is telling your daughter to do is not small. To encourage a young woman to live with a man outside marriage, to bear children without a covenant, and to despise the gathering of the church is to call good evil and evil good. The apostle commands us to mark those who cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine we have learned, and to avoid them. He says such people do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ but their own belly, and by good words and fair speeches they deceive the hearts of the simple. That is exactly what is happening. The woman may speak pleasantly, but her counsel is the speech that makes sin look like kindness. No one, not even the mother of a young man, has authority from God to instruct your daughter in sin.
Your daughter should stop confiding in her. Not out of spite, but because her words are leaven that corrupts sound judgment. She is not a safe counselor. She says it makes her heart happy that your daughter has left the church community. That alone is the mark of someone who serves herself and not Christ. Let your daughter avoid her as one who causes division and offense.
The freedom your daughter needs is not permission to live as she wishes. It is the freedom of a soul that can say to Herod, "It is not lawful for you to have your brother Philip's wife." That is the boldness of the saints. A woman who cannot say this is not free, however much she calls herself so. The living arrangement is not a path to joy. It is a weight that exhausts her, drains her finances, and isolates her from those who love her. If the young man is lazy, dishonest, and exploits her, those are not flaws to overlook. They are warnings. She is not his wife. She is not obligated to carry him or his family's burdens.
Do not let your righteous grief become poison in your own soul. You have asked God to expose motives and frustrate plans. It is lawful to pray that evil be stopped. But do not rejoice in this woman's ruin. Leave her heart to God. Your task is to hold to the truth and guard your daughter. If you become bitter, the enemy has gained a foothold in you too. Continue to pray for her repentance, even while you avoid her influence.
Use the closeness you have as a mother. The apostle says we have more success with those we know and love than with strangers. You know your daughter's gifts and failings. Speak the truth with patience, not only in anger. Let your home be a refuge where she can return without shame, but do not call her bondage by soft names. Remind her that her worth does not come from this woman's approval or from a man's attention, but from Christ. She is not homeless. She has a family that has raised her in the ways of the Lord. Let that family be a place of truth and welcome.
Pray for a godly spouse, yes, but first pray that she becomes a woman willing to stand alone rather than remain unequally yoked. If the Lord grants marriage later, it must be to one who fears Him, not one who drags her from the church. Continue to pray that her eyes are opened, that she hungers again for righteousness, and that every voice contrary to the Word is silenced. That deliverance begins with repentance and an act of the will. Keep praying, keep speaking truth, and do not lose heart. May the God of peace soon bruise Satan under your feet, and may the grace of our Lord be with you.
Your daughter should stop confiding in her. Not out of spite, but because her words are leaven that corrupts sound judgment. She is not a safe counselor. She says it makes her heart happy that your daughter has left the church community. That alone is the mark of someone who serves herself and not Christ. Let your daughter avoid her as one who causes division and offense.
The freedom your daughter needs is not permission to live as she wishes. It is the freedom of a soul that can say to Herod, "It is not lawful for you to have your brother Philip's wife." That is the boldness of the saints. A woman who cannot say this is not free, however much she calls herself so. The living arrangement is not a path to joy. It is a weight that exhausts her, drains her finances, and isolates her from those who love her. If the young man is lazy, dishonest, and exploits her, those are not flaws to overlook. They are warnings. She is not his wife. She is not obligated to carry him or his family's burdens.
Do not let your righteous grief become poison in your own soul. You have asked God to expose motives and frustrate plans. It is lawful to pray that evil be stopped. But do not rejoice in this woman's ruin. Leave her heart to God. Your task is to hold to the truth and guard your daughter. If you become bitter, the enemy has gained a foothold in you too. Continue to pray for her repentance, even while you avoid her influence.
Use the closeness you have as a mother. The apostle says we have more success with those we know and love than with strangers. You know your daughter's gifts and failings. Speak the truth with patience, not only in anger. Let your home be a refuge where she can return without shame, but do not call her bondage by soft names. Remind her that her worth does not come from this woman's approval or from a man's attention, but from Christ. She is not homeless. She has a family that has raised her in the ways of the Lord. Let that family be a place of truth and welcome.
Pray for a godly spouse, yes, but first pray that she becomes a woman willing to stand alone rather than remain unequally yoked. If the Lord grants marriage later, it must be to one who fears Him, not one who drags her from the church. Continue to pray that her eyes are opened, that she hungers again for righteousness, and that every voice contrary to the Word is silenced. That deliverance begins with repentance and an act of the will. Keep praying, keep speaking truth, and do not lose heart. May the God of peace soon bruise Satan under your feet, and may the grace of our Lord be with you.
