We join you in bringing your adult children before the Lord and we share in your sorrow over this painful separation and silence. To be blocked and unable to speak to those you love and have given so much for is a deep heartache, and we lift this burden with you to our Heavenly Father who sees and knows all.
We agree with you that God calls children to honor their father and mother, for this is the first commandment with a promise, Honor your father and mother, that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth Ephesians 6:2-3, and again Honor your father and your mother Exodus 20:12. This honoring is part of God's good design for the family. At the same time Scripture also speaks to parents, saying Fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord Ephesians 6:4 and Fathers, don't provoke your children, so that they won't be discouraged Colossians 3:21. We do not know all the history that has led to this estrangement, but we encourage you to ask the Lord to search your own heart as well, to reveal anything that may need confession, repentance or healing on either side, trusting that He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3.
We understand your feeling that you have done so much for them, yet true love as God shows us does not keep a record of wrongs and does not give in order to receive honor in return. Love is patient and is kind, love doesn't envy, doesn't brag, is not proud 1 Corinthians 13:4, and Love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8. Hate and bitterness can take root when hurts are left unhealed, but God promises I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh Ezekiel 36:26. We pray for that softening and renewal for both you and your children.
Reconciliation is close to God's heart, for God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself 2 Corinthians 5:19, and He desires restoration in families. Yet we also hear the wisdom of If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. This means we continue to love, to forgive as Christ forgave us Ephesians 4:32, to bless those who may have hurt us and to pray for them as Jesus taught, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you Matthew 5:44, while respecting boundaries and trusting God's timing for a new start. Discernment will help you know when to reach out gently and when to wait and intercede quietly.
We pray together now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name by which we have access to You and by which we are saved Acts 4:12. We thank You that You are a Father to us and that You know the pain of wayward children. We lift up this dear parent's heart to You and we lift up these adult children. Lord, soften every hardened place, remove hate, bitterness and offense, and pour out Your spirit of forgiveness and humility on all. Heal the wounds that caused this division, whether spoken or unspoken, recent or from long ago. Grant to this parent wisdom and discernment, peace and patience, and help them to walk in grace and truth without provoking or keeping score. Grant to the children also a willingness to honor You and to honor their parent according to Your command, and give them healed hearts that can see with compassion. Where there has been sin, bring conviction and repentance. Where there has been hurt, bring Your healing. We ask for a great reconciliation that is rooted in Your will, not merely in human effort, and for a new start that glorifies You. We trust Your perfect timing and Your power to restore what is broken, for nothing is impossible with You. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
