Your honest prayer has been heard, and I thank you for bringing what you have hidden into the light before God and His people. Even when you hide your pain from others, God sees it fully, as your mother has glimpsed it, and He draws near to those who call on Him with a humble heart.
You have spoken plainly about mistakes and their heavy consequences for your work, finances, relationships, confidence, sleep, peace and strength to go on. This honesty is the beginning of healing. Repentance is not only to turn away from what was wrong, but to bring forth fruits worthy of repentance by doing the opposite. Where there has been wrong, do what is right. Where there has been neglect, choose faithfulness. Depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. God does not only remove the dart, He also heals the wound as you walk with Him day by day in small, faithful steps.
Do not remain isolated in this struggle. Nothing leaves us more exposed to temptation and despair than facing it alone. Follow peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord, and do not forsake gathering with other believers who can stand with you, pray for you and keep you from being carried away by discouragement. And let the peace of God rule in your heart. If human peace depends on circumstances it quickly breaks, but the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. When two thoughts wrestle within you, one urging revenge against yourself or despair, and the other urging trust, let His peace be the judge and give the victory to trust.
I pray for you now.
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, through whom alone we have salvation, have mercy on this dear one who is weary and weighed down. You know the mistakes of the past and the burdens they have left on work, finances, relationships, sleep and hope for the future. Forgive what is confessed, wash away what is past, and grant grace to bring forth new fruit in its place. Grant repentance that bears fruit, faith that looks to Christ alone, and a heart that seeks peace with You and with others. Give restful sleep, quiet confidence not in self but in You, renewed motivation for daily work, and provision for every need according to Your wisdom. Guard this heart with Your peace that is beyond understanding, and keep it firm in Christ. Comfort also an elderly mother who watches with love, and use her care as a sign of Your care. Lead into fellowship where there is encouragement and truth, and let hope rise again. In Jesus name, Amen.