Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and for beginning with thanksgiving for the Lord Jesus Christ and for your family. God hears the prayers of those who come to Him through His Son, and He knows the anxiety and longing you carry, the sorrow over broken promises, and the love you have for your children and for those entrusted to you.
You have asked God to remove what caused this separation and to bring this man back to you, and you have spoken honestly about your own part, about his part, and about the influence of his friends. That honesty before God is good. Scripture calls us to examine ourselves, to confess where we have sinned, and to seek forgiveness not only from one another but first from God. Our reconciliation with God does not come from our own promises or efforts, but from the sacrifice Christ offered for us. While we were still enemies, Christ made a way for us to become friends of God, and through faith in Him we receive forgiveness of sins and grace as a gift. It is on that ground alone that we can stand and pray with confidence.
At the same time, the Scriptures teach that God fulfills His promises in His own time and in His own way, not always immediately and not according to our desires. Abraham received the promise and then patiently endured a long time before he saw it fulfilled, and this was to teach faith and trust. In the same way, we are warned not to despair when we feel God is slow, and also not to presume that God must do what we ask simply because we have asked it. God promises good to those who walk with Him in faith and obedience, and He calls us to be worthy of His calling through repentance and holiness.
That is why we cannot ask God to bless or restore a romantic relationship simply because we desire it. God has designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He has set apart sexual intimacy and living together for within that covenant alone. Any friendship or relationship outside of that design is called to be chaste, honest, and pure, seeking the other person's good before God rather than seeking to hold onto him or to change him for our own comfort. Love does not try to control or anxiously cling, but entrusts the other person to God and respects his freedom and responsibility before God.
It is right to pray for calm in your own heart, for wisdom to speak with love and self control, and for the ability to correct where you have done wrong. It is also right to pray for this man, not primarily that he would call more often or return to you, but that he would come to know Christ, turn from what harms him, be delivered from bad influences, and walk in the new way that pleases God. If friendship with you is to continue, let it be a friendship that helps both of you toward truth and holiness, not away from it. If God in His wisdom has another path for either of you, may He give you peace to accept it and strength to follow Him.
So we pray for you now: Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your mercy through Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have forgiveness and access to You. Grant to this dear one peace that quiets an anxious mind, a steady trust in Your goodness, and grace to repent where repentance is needed and to forgive where forgiveness is needed. Guard the children and family named before You, keep them in Your care, and draw each one to know Your Son. Work in the life of this man for his true good and salvation, lead him away from influences that pull him toward harm, and surround him with what is wholesome and true. Give wisdom to know what a godly friendship should look like, courage to set right boundaries, and patience to wait on Your will as Abraham waited, trusting that You give what is best in Your time. Teach all of us to seek first reconciliation with You, and then to live in a way that honors You in our relationships. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our hope and our peace. Amen.
You have asked God to remove what caused this separation and to bring this man back to you, and you have spoken honestly about your own part, about his part, and about the influence of his friends. That honesty before God is good. Scripture calls us to examine ourselves, to confess where we have sinned, and to seek forgiveness not only from one another but first from God. Our reconciliation with God does not come from our own promises or efforts, but from the sacrifice Christ offered for us. While we were still enemies, Christ made a way for us to become friends of God, and through faith in Him we receive forgiveness of sins and grace as a gift. It is on that ground alone that we can stand and pray with confidence.
At the same time, the Scriptures teach that God fulfills His promises in His own time and in His own way, not always immediately and not according to our desires. Abraham received the promise and then patiently endured a long time before he saw it fulfilled, and this was to teach faith and trust. In the same way, we are warned not to despair when we feel God is slow, and also not to presume that God must do what we ask simply because we have asked it. God promises good to those who walk with Him in faith and obedience, and He calls us to be worthy of His calling through repentance and holiness.
That is why we cannot ask God to bless or restore a romantic relationship simply because we desire it. God has designed marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He has set apart sexual intimacy and living together for within that covenant alone. Any friendship or relationship outside of that design is called to be chaste, honest, and pure, seeking the other person's good before God rather than seeking to hold onto him or to change him for our own comfort. Love does not try to control or anxiously cling, but entrusts the other person to God and respects his freedom and responsibility before God.
It is right to pray for calm in your own heart, for wisdom to speak with love and self control, and for the ability to correct where you have done wrong. It is also right to pray for this man, not primarily that he would call more often or return to you, but that he would come to know Christ, turn from what harms him, be delivered from bad influences, and walk in the new way that pleases God. If friendship with you is to continue, let it be a friendship that helps both of you toward truth and holiness, not away from it. If God in His wisdom has another path for either of you, may He give you peace to accept it and strength to follow Him.
So we pray for you now: Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your mercy through Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have forgiveness and access to You. Grant to this dear one peace that quiets an anxious mind, a steady trust in Your goodness, and grace to repent where repentance is needed and to forgive where forgiveness is needed. Guard the children and family named before You, keep them in Your care, and draw each one to know Your Son. Work in the life of this man for his true good and salvation, lead him away from influences that pull him toward harm, and surround him with what is wholesome and true. Give wisdom to know what a godly friendship should look like, courage to set right boundaries, and patience to wait on Your will as Abraham waited, trusting that You give what is best in Your time. Teach all of us to seek first reconciliation with You, and then to live in a way that honors You in our relationships. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our hope and our peace. Amen.
